This is kind of a half-baked thought, but one of the reasons children of abusive or neglectful parents have such a hard time having self-worth is that when other people treat you like something is wrong with you, by withholding care, you start to believe it. You're a logical, sensible person, so everyone else must also have reasons for what they do, therefore withholding care from you has to have a reason. No one's telling you the reason, so it must be something REALLY bad.
But for #ActuallyAutistic folks, aren't most of us treated like that by the whole of society, not just our parents? We are fundamentally not supported, even by the most well-meaning non-autistic people. We are treated like a problem to be solved. To me, it amounts to a withholding of care that signals to us "You're not wanted." No wonder so many of us are sick and suicidal, you know?
@holyramenempire@actuallyautistic a recurring them in my therapy is how I am caught up in both brain/body responses to negative childhood events as well as logically negative responses to similar events happening to me now. like, yes -- I have trauma responses. but: also: AND: often when I act naturally today, I get negative responses, that I have feelings about.
always on alert bc I have so few positive experiences when I'm unmasked etc
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