@actuallyautistic i keep seeing here ocd or "extremely organised" as a definitely autistic trait, while messy being assigned to adhd and i'm (adult diagnosed) living with a diagnosed in a childhood person and we're messy as hell, especially in combination while neither of us suspect adhd and it's just very annoying to have it as a given here, does anyone share this even?
Well if you zoom out to a macro perspective, perhaps it’s similar a soup, it’s fluid, each ingredient has various properties that seem to contradict and change constantly, and variability of locus. Maybe just our perspective as a part of the soup?
My point is embrace your soup. Get to know what’s in your soup, try soup in different locations. Learn your soup, love your soup,experiment and experience the awe of soup. Just my odd perspective.
@spika@lexx3000@actuallyautistic
For those who are not familiar with the word soup, it could be stew, a curry, or whatever in your culture. Maybe any conglomeration of thresholds and properties of ingredients working in harmony.
@lexx3000@spika@actuallyautistic
Well I wasn’t implying anyone in particular , I was thinking of possibly of people in other countries using translators, or maybe English isn’t first language. Just trying to be compassionate.
@lexx3000@actuallyautistic I could reasonably be described as "extremely organised", but it's only because if I weren't, I would forget to do the things I want to get done, or lose a thing because I can't remember where I put it... 😀
@PatternChaser@actuallyautistic remembering where i put a thing i deem as my superpower, it's quite fascinating how brain recalls an action of putting an sd card in a small pocket in jeans with the logic "it fits perfectly". things get complicated when there's some roommates who move stuff.
@lexx3000@actuallyautistic
I guess, just because you can benefit from a clutter free environment, doesn't mean you have the energy and commitment do create it.
I am more on the tidy side. But this is more based on not messing things up. So I can't really compensate the "chaos" my wife and son create and just live with it.
@Dr_Obvious@lexx3000@actuallyautistic Totally relate to this. I live with an ADHDer now who is very untidy and disorganised. It is incredibly difficult for me to keep on top of the mess they create even though living in it is very distressing for me.
I largely keep things clean and tidy by just not making the mess and if I do, immediately cleaning it up so I'm doing little bits of cleaning here and there rather than lots.
@alexisbushnell@lexx3000@actuallyautistic
Horrible, isn't it?
I am also often charmed by the idea of minimalism and often try to get rid of things, which isn't always easy with shifting hyperfixations and trying out stuff.
My idea is, a nothing can't get dirty, broken, needs no space and no worries.
But my wife has so much stuff and books and is generally more on the I can't get rid of stuff side. Not starting with all the stuff a kid brings in.
@Dr_Obvious@alexisbushnell@actuallyautistic actually nothing gets quite dirty and dusty, especially if you live in a city i'm just watching how window frames get grey the next day after i washed them
@lexx3000@alexisbushnell@actuallyautistic
But a window is not nothing. It's a window and can get dirty and cleaned. But if you have window decoration that can get dirty and dusty too. Not only needs that cleaning from time to time, but it even makes cleaning the window more work.
If you have a furniture loaded with stuff, cleaning it might take some while. But If you don't have it at all, it's just some area of floor.
@lexx3000@actuallyautistic
I think I'm very autistic and not very ADHD (my official diagnosis agrees), and my house would make a frat boy recoil. Very dirty.
I feel I used to be on the verge of becoming a problematic hoarder but I managed to dial that down a bit. Now it's just dirty.
I do sometimes wonder about it, especially when I meet new people and they just assume 'oh right, autism, that must mean you are obsessively keeping detailed records and cleaning every corner'
@Selena@actuallyautistic if you're really commited to record details in journals there's no attention to the mess. to me hyperfixation feels more dominant than organising and cleaning, unless cleaning is your special interest
@benetnasch@lexx3000@actuallyautistic To follow up on this - I'm very organised and do not have OCD. I know people who have OCD and are not organised at all, quite the opposite, they aren't the same.
OCD is an often debilitating illness which causes a lot of distress and has absolutely nothing to do with organisation.
@lexx3000@alexisbushnell@actuallyautistic For someone with OCD, especially if they have cleaning compulsions, that's more likely to generate high levels of anxiety. Add intrusive thoughts "If I don't do this a certain way, someone I love will suffer bodily harm," etc.
I'm autistic with ADHD and OCD, and while I'm neat in some areas, my living conditions (like my desk) are messy. Cleaning is often stress inducing for me.
@benetnasch@lexx3000@alexisbushnell@actuallyautistic this is all too familiar. I'm by no means organized, but I will spend half the day panicking that I left the stove on despite checking it four times and knowing full well the stove has a safety feature that turns it off.
@Dr_Obvious@actuallyautistic That's part of it! Those are called intrusive thoughts. My aunt gets those about locks and her kids.
And I'm not entirely sure there's a term for what you're describing. The closest I can think of is Just Right OCD (which is one form I have and makes me insufferable to live with). Like, I need things to be a certain way, and not always for a "rational" reason.
@benetnasch@actuallyautistic
I have intrusive thoughts, but I know that many people have them. I guess the distinction to OCD is, whether it's the same thoughts all along and if one is bothered by them a lot. And that is not the case for me.
I am sometimes worried or concerned if I switched of the stove, closed the windows etc. and I sometimes return to check, but it's on a level that does not classify as OCD I guess. It is rather an ADHD thing, that I actually might do or don't do it.
@benetnasch@actuallyautistic
But if I encoded my music with one kind of settings and then later on did it differently I have the urge to get it coherent. Or with pictures from early times of digital photography with messed up exif data and dates that doesn't work with metadata based software, I sometimes get so frustrated that I think about deleting them, which I luckily don't do.
No reasonable person I know minds this. I just wonder if that is simply an autism thing or something else.
@benetnasch@actuallyautistic
So I was told stuff like I discribed is most likely just a matter of autistic appreciation of structure. Also other things I do that are a bit over the edge prevention measures for topics I have anxiety on are too reasonable to be classified as OCD.
Which does not make it easier, because reasonable actions might actually help minimizing risks, but that doesn't mean the anxiety is gone.
@sahat@lexx3000@actuallyautistic
Afaik 'ocd' is commonly misunderstood to be 'constantly cleaning and therefore living in a spotless house' while reality is more like 'obsessively washing your hands 10 times but ignoring the pile of clothes'
(disclaimer: I know very little about ocd)
@Selena@sahat@actuallyautistic yeah i referred to cleaning as ocd trait. a friend of mine has ocd about light switches and glass clicking, ritualistic thing.
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