sometimes I read something on here a personal account or something political, that moves me. It often takes until the next day or even several days before I know why and what it is, that I would like to reply to that. most the time I don't, cus I can't find the original post anymore or because I assume, it's too late. Sometimes I then write up a long long post. About this issue and all the implications and my experience and so on.
That's just the way my brain functions. I can't help it. There seems to always be too much in it. Too many threads connecting too many things and too deep feelings. I wonder whether I should quit this alltogether and rather dump my hyperconnected brain's content into a blog. On the other hand, I love the community on here. All of this presents exactly the same in my offline life.
the @actuallyautistic community has helped me so much in trying all of this out, reflecting on it and receiving encouragement. In my initial unmasking phase I got a ton of flag from NT on my style of communication and the intensity of it. I knew I needed to learn and adjust.
I'm often way fast actually. All of these patterns and connected issues flash into my mind right away. But creating a bridge of communication takes time. Mastering the intensity and the volume of it. The impatience. The need to balance my physical.emotional mental energy finding ways to stim or otherwise relax that work. After decades of masking and suppressing some of the actual content I had to find a whole new way of expressing myself truthfully. With all of that extra ND energy and views included. It was rough at the beginning.
This space here was important to me in being able to have helpful and loving feedback and being able to take all of those baby steps. Thank you all. #AuDhd#ActuallyAutistic#adhd
