I wish I had clued in earlier, and didn’t aggressively deny. My sister died, my father died, and then my mother died. I also didn't grieve like "normal people".
I was taking care of my mother as she was slowly dying over several months. After she died, I went to a psychotherapist. After a few months the psychotherapist asked if I had considered I was Autistic. That started me on a journey to take it seriously, and finally accept.