@samiam@actuallyautistic
Maybe it'll be safe to say one more thing. It's in regards to "let myself be as autistic as I am".
Just do you. It sounds like you're saying it's just hard to figure out who you actually are, and you don't want undue influence from claiming you have some classification.
I know it's hard to hold on to yourself during all this fun. Just take your time and don't force anything. You'll figure it out.