@26pglt@actuallyautistic I didn't talk with her yet, but she told my wife she had always had the idea. I guess it could be related to anthroposophy, or having a disabled sister that she thought about could have developed better if not overprotected. But her "knowing" about it, makes her parenting worse than it already was.
And differently from the other stuff, it is not only about the past. Not telling me up till now, makes it a thing of today. I will need some time before facing this talk.