Barbarians of the fediverse, how about y'all move on from massive axes?

Don't get me wrong, I know many of you also use these huge axes to manage your body hair, but enough is enough. How about spears with heads the size of a flounder? What about flounders? Have you ever seen someone get hit with a two-handed flounder? Kitchen appliances? There's a lot more creative ways to smite your enemies. You...