It does not get better. There is no reason for it to get better. There is nothing guaranteeing it will get better. There is no policy, no protocol, no rules, no nothing. NOTHING in this life WILL get better. It might get better....
I hope you don't read this as patronizing but: You come off as incredibly persistent and thoughtful, at least judging from the contents of your post.
I know very little about your situation or what it's like to be in your shoes. I personally have found a lot of motivation/meaning from reading dostoevsky, victor frankl's man's search for meaning, etc. If you can't concentrate while reading, can you get an audiobook version somehow?
Wishing you the best possible outcome given your situation. Peace.
"It gets better" is one of the most successful lies ever told
It does not get better. There is no reason for it to get better. There is nothing guaranteeing it will get better. There is no policy, no protocol, no rules, no nothing. NOTHING in this life WILL get better. It might get better....