si_irini

Tim_McTuffty, 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 42 Sunday 10/12/23

TL:DR I am not unaware of the significance of of todays entry 😆 ; Chats with my Bestie & my Bro made my day; Who knew writing could be cathartic !; Christmas, like Winter, is coming !! 😉

Sunday was a ridiculously nice day, only let down by the weather !

4am , sleepy chat with my Bestie, then when she went out to walk yon doggie I snoozed until Mrs Squirrel woke about 8ish.

Breakfast was followed by catching up on here a little & a bit of TV over a cuppa.
My brother rang & we had a really long chat to catch up & talk about my ASD diagnosis & how he could help. I think my brother is my most favourite sibling & we get on like a house on fire!

This afternoon was taken up by writing a long letter to my old Deputy Head Master / 5th form English teacher from Secondary School, he writes a quarterly ‘Old Boys’ news letter & we have kept in contact for 40 years. Old habits die very hard so I still see him as a kindly figure of authority as opposed to any other form of relationship.
I have told him about my initial diagnosis for ASD & I think he will maybe understand better than my father , which would be nice.
I also told him about my antics on here & sent him a couple of my poems - I hope he likes them (& gives me a good grade 😆 ) .

I also wrote shorter letters to one of my aunts who lives in Cumbria & a the single friend I still keep in touch with from my days at IBM.

The afternoon flowed into evening as I wrote countless xmas cards, a task that I am not overly fond of , but tradition dictates.

A quick evening meal & an episode of the last series of ‘Ghosts’ got me to now.

Final Thoughts:

Having spoken to my bother for nearly 2 hours today it struck me that he, his partner & my teenage niece are my favourite blood relatives , by quite a long way. I am uncomfortable with this a little, I do love the rest of my family , but in a slightly distant fashion.

Christmas is not a massive thing for me, but it is a time when I dust off my address book & re-connect with the tiny list of people that I keep in touch with.
It is a strangely satisfying experience .

Gotta crack on with the ASD assessment stuff tomorrow !

Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #TheMammutMoves

sahat, 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

I'm in a state of pain tonight. It has a long story of origin. It is a residue from the twenty years of childrearing as a single mother, facing ableism and poverty, facing sexism and facing the devastating effect of doing it alone. I somehow let go of this layer of constraint around my deepest and most difficult bits of pain. I realize, I put it there in order to compartmentalize and in order to be present for my son. I was afraid I could be overwhelmed by it .Unable to deliver my attention and devotion as I felt was needed.
This is not nice but it is new. I feel a freedom to let go. It has to do with my kid being in a state of well-being and being on a good path. In addition to being not a kid anymore. I don't know what else to do but breathe right now, and talk. Or rather write. I have been doing that all day.
Just wanted to let you know. As this community has always given me a feeling of support and of not being alone with the challenges of a neurodivergent life. As I was writing, I felt it was necessary that every woman that goes through this lets out these sounds of pain and of torment, and as publicly as possible. We don't have much space for this, as we are beeing needed and that will be a constant for many years. And it keeps the truth away from whomever wants to ignore it. It does not serve us to be silent. Even if it may seem a survival choice at the time.
Letting go of my fight suit. admitting to the despair and how lost and alone I felt amidst mounting pressure. Letting go of treading carefully as not to scare my child. As not to provoke retaliation from any part of the system in a way that I would not be prepared for.
Letting go of a pressure that has been in my neck for twenty years and wreaked havoc in my body. It's a bit of a flood coming out of of me. Breaking my heart or rather the constraints around it towards feeling the full truth of the emotion.
@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 40 Friday 8/12/23

TL:DR A chilled, quiet day , one filled with love & folks helping me to centre myself!; SNICoM is born 😆 ; Blessed are they who have good mates !

Hurrah for quiet days !

Spent the day mostly chilled, the usual triggers around a certain someone seemingly being unable to do basic tasks but noting remotely serious! Thank Nuggan !!

Got to have decent chats with both CDP 🧚‍♀️ & my Kelda, which truly made my day. Two people I can honestly say mean a massive amount to me & , in their own unique ways make my world a much better place!

My Queen may well be pouting at this point, but worry not , the love of the Sister of my Heart intertwines with all others !

It seems that I have developed a somewhat piratical air, my threads (via MAJ1 ) are apparently notorious & I have somehow reached the point of having an inner circle (again via MAJ1 , since Tim is a total innocent 😆 !) - or as DT (a key member 😆) would have it … SNICoM -> Squirrels Notorious Inner Circle of Miscreants ! 😆

You don’t have to be slightly bonkers to be ASD , but it certainly helps 😂

I managed to con my brother into filling in an ASD Informants report - that’ll teach you to be a smart arse Bro! 😜😂

I end today , really very happy & slightly drunk! ( Project WOOF is in abeyance 🤦‍♂️ )

Final Thoughts:
Thank Nuggan for truly close friends , I am blessed by having an obscene number of them on here!
Members of SNICoM I salute you ! 🤗🥰

Bro , it is likely you will never get to read this, but I love you , I hope all eldest sons are lucky enough to have such a one in their family!

Sorry I am waxing lyrical because I am slightly drunk, but - in vino veritas !

This is a super long road that I am on, even though I am making decent progress, I am not religious but I am truly blessed to have good & caring friends to help me make the distance!

Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #TheMammutMoves

appassionato, 7 months ago to bookstodon

The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom

Citing Plato, Buddha and modern brain science, psychologist Haidt notes the mind is like an "elephant" of automatic desires and impulses atop which conscious intention is an ineffectual "rider."

@bookstodon
#books
#nonfiction
#happiness

islieb, 11 months ago to random German

Gut drauf

islieb, 1 year ago to random German

Schönen guten Abend und ein schönes Wochenende!

islieb war ausnahmsweise mal so richtig krank, aber inzwischen geht's mit wieder gut und ab morgen läuft hier wieder das gewohnte Comic-Programm. Ihr seid alle toll! (PS: Dankö für die ganzen lieben Genesungswünsche.)