@lapingvino@neurodifferent.me
@lapingvino@neurodifferent.me avatar

lapingvino

@[email protected]

#ActuallyAutistic
#HYPIA verified hyperpolyglot: nl eo en pt es fr de io tok it af
#bahai #pangender #hacker
Based around Lisbon, Portugal

Mi provas aktive marki miajn afiŝojn laŭ lingvo, se vi nur volas vidi Esperantajn afiŝojn, konfiguru viajn filtrojn!
I try to remember to tag my post languages appropriately, so you can filter correctly.

Profile picture: a hybrid of the Linux penguin and Perry the Platypus on top of a Pangender flag.
Header picture: a futuristic train station AI art picture

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

spika, to actuallyautistic
@spika@neurodifferent.me avatar

I have such mixed feelings about social media a lot of the times these days... I'm noticing that have a habit of gravitating to the socials when I'm feeling lonely and feeling dysregulated from that loneliness, but more often than not I'm just ingesting more information that dysregulates me even further, causing even more loneliness and despair and wanting to isolate from people even more.

@actuallyautistic

lapingvino,
@lapingvino@neurodifferent.me avatar

@spika @actuallyautistic one of the main things I do with social media is being very hygienic in who I follow. don't follow anyone or anything if what they post doesn't make you happy or you are otherwise not aligned. That's also why I completely quit Facebook: it completely ignores this hygiene and feeds you crap anyway. TikTok is a bit different because while you don't actively follow stuff this way, the algorithm is pretty good in doing this for you if you know well enough what you actually like; it's absolutely more addictive and possibly problematic for addictive personalities, but it's the way the app works and it can work well for you.

CynAq, to actuallyautistic
@CynAq@neurodifferent.me avatar

@hellomiakoda ‘s thread about visual imagination reminded me of something I realized yesterday. I was talking to my wife about taking things apart as a kid, to see what’s inside and how I hate electronics as a field of technology. I don’t hate the devices and their functionality. I hate the way electronics work.

Let me elaborate.

As a child, I was very interested in how devices worked and liked to open things up, take them apart and put them back together. With mechanical devices, this has always been easy for me because I can see how the parts move and interact with each other, thus I can see their function and make sense of the whole thing easily. It is fixable if something isn’t destroyed but only misaligned for example, and I can readily identify what can’t be fixed without a new part.

Then one day, I opened up my first small fm radio. It was the biggest disappointment of my life up to that point. There were no moving parts with discernible functions. Nothing made sense because I couldn’t watch how they worked. I could see the components but they were completely opaque to me as to what their individual and collective functions were.

I remember feeling so utterly cheated. The world had invented something that I couldn’t figure out, by myself, as a six year old, and therefore I hated it.

I still find electronics boring to the extreme, even though I learned enough about the field to understand how they work. No visibly moving parts (electrons don’t count), nothing to look at, nothing to keep my interest going.

Can anyone in the community relate to this?

@actuallyautistic

lapingvino,
@lapingvino@neurodifferent.me avatar

@CynAq @hellomiakoda @actuallyautistic I'm not really likely to run into this because since very early I loved software way more than hardware. Probably also to do with my poor motor skills. At some point I got myself an Ouya mostly so I could improve my motor skills actually. Still an amazing console.

lapingvino,
@lapingvino@neurodifferent.me avatar

@marytzu @CynAq @PatternChaser @hellomiakoda @actuallyautistic I'm a polyglot, I speak 11 languages. Very true about how well you can mask with that experience...

sal, to actuallyautistic
@sal@brain.worm.pink avatar

@actuallyautistic We probably know better than anyone how "Get Help" is leveraged to gaslight us, when we speak about violence and abuse against us.

We are told "I Hope You Get The Help You Need" by people who are actively against us getting the help we need.

If the Help We Need is to speak about oppression and be believed, "I Hope You Get Help" means "I hope a therapist convinces you you're not being oppressed." People talking about police profiling get told to take antipsychotics.

If The Help We Need is URGENT, PHYSICAL HEALTHCARE where doctors aren't assaulting us or willfully giving us other deadly diseases in the exam room by refusing to follow basic safety measures - there's a chorus to sing "I Hope You Get Help!" "I hope you get bombarded or coerced or otherwise convinced not to bring that up anymore!"

Whether it's ABA or psychiatric drugging or talk therapy, we're surrounded by people who want to Make Sure We Get Help that will make us quiet about what's happening to us.

How have other people survived therapy and therapism?

lapingvino,
@lapingvino@neurodifferent.me avatar

@sal @actuallyautistic The one person that told me I need to get help was basically a nazi.

lapingvino,
@lapingvino@neurodifferent.me avatar

@sal @actuallyautistic he bombarded me with examples of muslim terrorism and suggested that I supported that because I'm a Bahá'í which accepts Islam as part of its religious history, and because according to him I supported that, I needed to seek help. Also listen to a lot of Jordan Peterson seemingly, even though he was adamant that JP wasn't his big inspiration.

eniko, to random
@eniko@peoplemaking.games avatar

something on my timeline is making me want to make a better spreadsheet software than excel. i bet i could do it, too. probably make more money than any of the games i have and will ever make combined

lapingvino,
@lapingvino@neurodifferent.me avatar

@eniko for specific goals, those already exist. Gnumeric and LibreOffice Calc already do some stuff much better than Excel does, and for tabular data visidata is amazing.

lapingvino,
@lapingvino@neurodifferent.me avatar

@eniko heck, for some goals even Python and R and Julia are better than Excel xD. What kind of usage of Excel do you have in mind to do better?

Private
lapingvino,
@lapingvino@neurodifferent.me avatar

@benjamincox @PatternChaser @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic I'm very honest but not naïve. People have often taken me for naïve and come home heavily disappointed, to say the least. Autistic honesty is noticing every part of dishonesty of others and still treating them like a human being. I don't say that this means we cannot be exploited or that we are not vulnerable because of this, but it's usually not because we didn't notice anything. It's because we expect and want people to be better and we try to help them get there. Usually the people trying to exploit us don't understand the bad results of that, and in the end we are better off because of the experience, while they don't understand what went wrong.

lapingvino,
@lapingvino@neurodifferent.me avatar

@dukeoffail @PatternChaser @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic I'm a pro-spoiler kind of person for similar reasons.

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