I also really dislike how many of the kind of shows feel the need to completely change their premise from fun crime procedural to deep dark romance drama. Lucifer did the same kind of thing.
This is what I do. I ran into issues with monitoring too many services so I switched to a hybrid approach. I run an instance in my server that check the status of all my services and a separate instance in Fly.io that checks the status of my local UptimeKuma install
The caching is a feature built into unRAID (which is the server OS I run. It’s not free but it’s a lifetime license for a super reasonable price. unraid.net
I store pretty much everything unless there is no chance for reuse. My current setup is a 4u unRAID server with 108TB of double parity protected storage (plus 2 2TB NVME drives in raid 1 for cache).