So the interesting thing about this is that I personally don’t think just because you haven’t had those experiences doesn’t mean you can’t write about it (for the most part, I think there are likely exceptions I would draw the line at). However, as someone who hasn’t experienced those things, my reasoning goes, it’s part of your duty to ensure it’s not going to cause harm, and that takes a lot of research into the topic (ideally with people who have experienced what you want to write about) along with a healthy dose of empathy.
I think you’ve made some mistakes in the past that you’re currently feeling growing pains from. Don’t feel like you’re a bad person just from your past actions, you seem to be growing. You’d be a worse person than you are if you were continuing to do it on purpose despite realizing all of this.