I think for a lot of aces, at least before "asexual" became part of the common orientation lexicon, it's a journey of tiny steps, and more a process of elimination of other orientiations rather than a sudden realization. Perhaps the younger generations will be able to know right away due to it being more common in everyday language/visible.
I went through quite a rolodex of orientations. I didn't feel 'straight", I knew something was..."off".
Very much like the typical "ace" main character (Monkey D. Luffy, Jughead Jones from Archie) I had ZERO interest in personal relationships and just wanted to eat and pet all the animals. I had no interest in exploring sexuality. I actually find it just...blech. (Some aces are more sex-positive, some less so.)
So..if I'm not gay, I must be BI! Because I'm equally attracted to both sexes! because 0=0!
But that's not how this works either, and I knew it still wasn't right.
@artisanrox Is Monkey D. Luffy gay? I kind of want him to be. Not that it should matter at all - I'm gay but I still find I'm attracted to both sexes. When I was younger I only had "straight" sex, up until my mid-20s. How I know I'm not still bisexual is - I don't still sleep with the opposite sex. I only desire same-sex partners and to say otherwise would be disingenuous. Besides it's all just sexuality, and not at all a definition of who I am or my totality as a human being.
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