Go chiefs! I’m from KC so it’s cool to see a community on lemmy—and I had no idea it existed until right now.
I feel the exact same way my friend. Even when lemmy was on the rise (when I joined), I knew that it wasn’t going to receive wide adoption. And unfortunately wide adoption is exactly what is needed to solve the problems you have mentioned.
As much as I love the idea of lemmy, I like the idea of community and connection more. I say go to the places where you find those things because that will be the most meaningful to you. You may find that for a more privacy and free thinking community on lemmy, but for other topics you probably have to go elsewhere. For now.
So go and connect with people over things that you love!