Hey thanks for posting this. I understand you are feeling the fight is too long and too big. With everything going on in the world it can feel pretty defeating. You have a lot of people around standing through it with you. Please reach out to anyone close by.
I think the brain can go through waves of defeat and sometimes it’s the feelings we might have we just want to have a break from it. Can you workshop a bit with these feelings? Do you have a workbook maybe you can write out everything that is happening right now that you just hate and bringing up these feelings, places, people and things. You don’t have to worry about showing it to anyone. It’s purely just for you. No shame. It’s to just put it somewhere so you don’t feel like you’re abandoning it but just like file it so you can have a break from it.
After that :write out how you feel about your family and girlfriend and the ex(and however it’s complicated) and write out how you feel about them. Maybe write out why you want to stick around for all of them.
After that: write out as if you’re someone who isn’t you but as a witness to yourself. Like a summary or just a separate entity, maybe you from the future or past (or both) or a role model, what would you say to you to help you?
I can see you’re doing it here already. So keep doing it. Write it all out.