I'm sorry that you have such dark thoughts and negative feelings because of this :( there's a very loud, very vocal minority of women who believe men are inherently evil (and there's a large overlap with terfism too). But that's just the thing, they're a minority. Obviously much of what they say is based on truth- that's how they persuade others to think like them- but it's not worth listening to them because their intentions aren't in the right place. You're absolutely right that communities like that are bad for one's mental health, too!