All I can truly say is you deserve love and acceptance. If she’s not willing to give you those things then she doesn’t deserve to have a wonderful daughter like you. You sound like you’ve prepared yourself for the worst, but make sure to talk lots to your partner, your therapist if you have one and your friends about it. Bottling this up inside can be agonizing and deal serious long term damage.
I know that having gone no contact before makes you feel a bit emotionally shielded from her. I know it did for me when I cut my mom out. But her being your mom gives her a lot of power to heal or to harm you. So be careful when dealing with her, and always put your own emotional wellbeing first.