There’s also an element of “sunk cost” with some people – it’s not always the case that homophobes are closeted themselves, but many times the worst bigots are those who’ve invested years of their life into denying who they are. It’s a pretty scary proposition to face the fact in your old age that you’ve been living half the life you should’ve been, that the conservative society you’ve been defending so vehemently has robbed you day by day.
In those cases I feel nearly as much pity as frustration.