My kiddo is pretty pragmatic about things, so they came to me and said “So, mum pointed out that calling you dad causes people to misgender you, and said I should talk to you about that. So would you prefer I call you mum or Ada?”
I said mum is taken, but we can find another word that means mum, or they can just use Ada, and they went with that. It was weird at first, absolutely, but it was never dysphoria inducing like Dad. I hated being called Dad, but because I’d told my kiddo they could use whatever was comfortable, I just endured it without speaking up. So when my ex pushed my kiddo to have a conversation with me, it was a huge relief.
I’m sorry to hear about your ex 😕
We broke up years before I transitioned for reasons that have nothing to do with my transition.
She hates me, but she genders me correctly when yelling slurs at me
Also, if it’s not too much (dm is fine too), just out of curiosity, do the kids show any gnc signs?
My kiddo is non binary (probably agender?) and uses they/them pronouns. They came out as gay not long after I came out to them, and whilst I suspected they might be gay, I didn’t see any real signs of gender diversity until they came out to me.
But they summarised their experience of gender as “what the fuck even is gender?”, so I guess it’s not surprising that they didn’t express gender in a strong way :)