lemmy.ml is federated with most other instances (yes, including lemmygrad.ml). I would say the content on lemmy.ml is pretty indicative of the norm across the fediverse. my feed is diverse enough to remain interesting to me without many extreme examples of any sort.
various instances will have different vibes and different local content. find instances that you jive with and you are golden. if those instances generally play nice with the network at large, then their content will be available widely. if not, then just center your experience around the local content on those instances.
federation makes.the best of all worlds avaliable to you.