I have also had trouble getting into games like this, but advice from my friends is that it’s actually less about the simulation, more about the stories and hilarity that can emerge from the simulation. In particular, I was advised to name each of my starting dwarves, and also to be less “smart” in how I played. In Rimworld, for example, I would load earlier saves if I lost someone important, and I was depriving myself of the kinds of chaos that these games are best at, like the glorious exuberance of rebuilding a colony from one person after a dreadful invasion.