All I look for Is a willingness to speak to others in good faith and for there to be a referee intervention when that isn’t respected. “Safe space” has been so twisted and ridiculed that it’s hard to use it and not feel some of the inflection of entitlement that’s been imparted to it. Safe for me is an end to needless hostility in conversation and being able to talk without someone else launching a curio cabinet of their favorite ad hominems at you. So far I’ve found beehaw to be a bit more in line with this than tildes, but both communities have a lot of room left to establish what they want to be.