I don’t know whether you’re using other fediverse services, but here is a link that only shows nice servers: https://fedi.garden/
About toxicity and negativity, I’m only on two Mastodon servers, two Lemmy servers (active only here), and on Kbin. Depending on where you’re engaging, you can notice more or less of those bad traits, but their levels are sickening to me. Two or three days ago I commented to a reply I was given, stating what I thought about their opinion. And suddenly I was involved in that toxicity and other bad behaviours made by other random people.
Things can be said in another way, in a nicer and good faithful way, but people consider that, because you cannot see the other party in the conversation, they can behave however they want without consequences for them. But there are consequences, and unfortunately they’re for the receiver. I’m sure outside internet those behaviours would be more limited, in general.
And this is not something that occurs recently or during the last 5 years. I’ve been browsing internet since 2006, and it was as bad as it is now, just with other intermediaries, like online chats, forums, etc. People don’t have legitimacy to act in any way they want, but they do nonetheless. And here is my last thought. What if you are toxic to an user, on the other side of your screen, who happens to have depression or other mental disorders, and you don’t know that fact? Would you feel OK knowing that you’re driving someone to hurt themselves, or worse?
I’ve faith on Beehaw, because I notice admins and moderators are really serious about being nice, and conversations, as far as I can notice, are superb. We all just need to defend this way of acting, pointing out the bad actors and censuring their bad actions.