@theautisticcoach I feel like it's been a struggle to manage for my partner and I. I feel like we make it work by living separately.
I feel like when we do spend time in the same space, it's good for a day or two and then we start bumping into issues with dysregulation, triggering meltdowns and shutdowns, and just general friction from needing different routines.
It's a hard thing to talk about, but it's a huge part of the stress I experience in day to day life.
@theautisticcoach@actuallyautistic Everyone has to have their own room that can be a sanctuary.
Headphones with good active noise cancelling.
Scheduled time to be alone in the place.
@theautisticcoach@actuallyautistic In a perfect world? Probably therapy. My wife and i have used the time honored tradition of passive agressive sniping and being too broke and broken for either of us to survive alone.
You need to find a therapist that is able to help. In my view, that's hard to do... well, in the US anyway.
My ex-wife had ADHD, so she was allistic but neurodivergent. We went to a therapist. We put everything on the table, including the glares that my wife shot at me and that I was constitutionally unable to see. That was useless. 4 years later, we started the divorce process.
One thing that I think we should have considered, but that neither of us did, would have been to sell the marital house and move into a setup where I'd have my space, and she'd have her space. I read that this is how some autistic people manage to live "together."
Truth be told, it is when we became together 24/7 that the friction between us became too much. She retired, and I worked remotely.
She might have been too conservative, however, or found some other reason to poopoo the idea. (Mind you, my ex-wife is a leftist, but I'm to the left of her.)
@yourautisticlife@theautisticcoach@actuallyautistic Oh man, that sucks. I absolutely agree that getting access to care is only the first part of a much much larger problem. The question of "what kind of care" and "do I roll the dice and try for a better doctor, or be 'happy' with what I've got?"
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