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RomanceReviews

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This account is 18+ and nsfw (sexual content, cussin').

I set this account up specifically for my livepost-style #RomanceReviews of #romance novels/written #erotica/.

Expect the content to be somewhere between shitposts, reactions, and a serious review.

Profile image of a young white woman sexily reading a magazine by tnikolov, header image of scrabble letters spelling romance by Kevin Simmons.

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RomanceReviews, to random

7 is some more , Eat My Moon Dust by Etta Pierce. I'm going to keep reading these things until I get sick of 'em or it's 2024.

I'm hoping this will be a good palate cleanser. We have aliens, we have my favorite trope (grumpy & sunshine), and we have Christmas.. FFS, what else could one ask for!

I think this is going to be straight-ish with some creative anatomy nonsense. Here for it.

see the author's CW notes at https://www.ettapierceromance.com/content-notes, headsup that the FMC is Cree and boarding school trauma comes up.

Ok, <mario voice> herewego! </mario voice>
🧵

RomanceReviews,

Oh idk about all this, there's a glossary and character descriptions before the book. It's giving Frank Herbert.

RomanceReviews,

I'm still excited though. Christmas definitely needs more tentacles.

RomanceReviews,

this bakery sounds really great

RomanceReviews,

"Bree, the human transpo mechanic, ran the public media feed for the colony, giving the rest of the union a taste of human life while simultaneously smiting trolls with maniacal New Yorker glee." YES GOOD I love the concept of New Yorkers released on an unsuspecting universe

RomanceReviews,

how many humans live here that this lady doesn't know who she is

RomanceReviews,

idk, I do think it's petty not to answer your kid's questions after their mom just ditched them with you

RomanceReviews,

imagine my disappointment to discover spats is alien for "children" rather than referring to spatterdashes

RomanceReviews,

yesssss single alien dad Scrooge, 10/10

RomanceReviews,

idk, the four arms thing could be alright

18+ RomanceReviews,

HOLD UP he has a phallic tentacle on the back of his head?? author how will this work?? necks aren't meant for

RomanceReviews,

She blinked innocently, lowering her voice just a tad. “Sorry. Hard of hearing after losing my eyes.”
“wha-“
“Come on, sir!” Bree jumped on the moment of confusion and pushed the ambassador towards the row of lockers.”

RomanceReviews,

nsfw, cussin'

“The implications of being absolutely willing and ready to fuck a bouncy ball of absolute annoyance like Tinsley was more than my brittle personality could handle just then.”

RomanceReviews,

ok, that moment of honest with his kids is everything

RomanceReviews,

but when does the poison flour come in??

RomanceReviews,

OK, in, here's my summary.

Eat My Moon Dust was the I needed. We had found family, we had romance, we had hunky single dads (Hallmark, natch), and what Christmas romance would be complete without alien tentacle sex. Obviously.

I liked both of the main characters, which is no surprise because I. Love. Sunshine/grumpy. Grumpy quote of the book: "no one would ever measure up to my little cyclone of chaos and rainbows." D'aww.

Do recommend for those interested in consensual alien relationships and not averse to steamy creative anatomy scenes. I would read more by this author.

The author has content warnings here: https://www.ettapierceromance.com/content-notes and I would add that puberty is also a minor theme, there is an incident where a tween crosses touch boundaries with another tween but it is resolved, and somnophilia.

@romancelandia

18+ pokinkypwet, to random French
@pokinkypwet@kinkyelephant.com avatar

You come home and find this smol mischievous Xmas elf casually sitting on your couch. What do you do ? 🎄🎁

18+ RomanceReviews,

@pokinkypwet

ask how they managed to get a couch through the door, because that is seriously magical.
jkjk

Respectfully enquire about their interest in 🥺 👉 👈 Christmas spanks.

RomanceReviews, to random

4: I'm going with a palate cleanser of an actual this time: Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert. I listened to the previous book in the series and it was sweet, hilarious, and British (they chose the narrator well).

I'm expecting this to be a straight, interracial romance with at least one neurodivergent character.

Here we go!

18+ RomanceReviews,

I'm already cackling into my dishwashing.

Topics she might journal about:
"or her resentmeent toward the author of a thrilling AO3 fanfic "Tasting Captain America" who hadn't uploaded a new chapter since the great tittyfucking cliffhanger of Dec 2017."

RomanceReviews,

ooooh dueling neurodivergences!!! ⚔️

RomanceReviews,

omg secondhand job interview anxiety.

RomanceReviews,

he's thinking of her as a chaos demon and keeps talking about his need to be in control of everything. I thought I'd finally picked a vanilla one?

RomanceReviews,

oh, oh are we doing the caught in the rain trope? 🥺

RomanceReviews,

hahaha handwritten employee handbooks. Cute.

RomanceReviews,

oh wow, offering to flash him to distract him from his injuries.

RomanceReviews,

he's funny when he's concussed.

RomanceReviews,

She had many, many biteable places. 😂

RomanceReviews,

"And then--and then she fucked with his nest!?"

How dare steal a man's blankey when he is poorly (and also overheating). The absolute audacity.

RomanceReviews,

"Where are you from? some kind of palace? some kind of elderly lesbian palace?"

18+ RomanceReviews,

This author write romance with the 'tism so well.

Re: not going down too fast: "And if you did it too quickly, you wound up with a woman who was more interested in what you could do with your tongue than your sudoku skills."

He. Is. Adorable.

18+ RomanceReviews,

Alright, here is my roundup for Act Your Age, Eve Brown. Loved it.

As expected going in, it was sweet, hilarious, interracial and British. So British. The banter had me cackling repeatedly as I tried to do housekeeping. This was a little bit of an enemies-to-lovers plotline.

Both (straight) neurodivergents were really truly into each other. This was what I think of as a true romance, with deep emotional and sexual attraction.

Him: “Is it terrible that I’m going to fuck you on this desk?”

Also him: “He wanted inside her confetti-strewn head every chance he got. It was the only foreign country he could remember wanting to visit.”

*swoon

I love that Talia Hibbert writes neurodivergent people and fat people as genuinely desirable and competent.

Good consent, 5 stars, would totally fuck this guy.

The Grand Misunderstanding seemed really forced.

That's it! Love this author.

@romancelandia

RomanceReviews, to romancelandia

Wow, To Ravish a Rouge really makes me see the whole monster-romance-is-a-metaphor-for-the-horrifying-ordeal-of-being-known thing.

@romancelandia

18+ RomanceReviews, to random

OK, here we go with the second
I'm optimistic this will be better than my first pick.

This sounds like it will be a straight-oriented romance, with the classic "sneaks onto a pirate ship as a man" trope (I love it. Shut up.) and also shapeshifting, so I bet there will be some gateway drugs to queerness here. Some light genderbendery?

I am totally fascinated that the GoodReads crowd seems better able to identify the kinks here than romance.io, although GoodReads does get more traffic.

Vore? I'm a little scared tbh, but here we go.

RomanceReviews,

ok, so what are they smuggling

18+ RomanceReviews,

I went with the audiobook, we'll see if that was A Terrible Mistake. It really depends on the narrator reading the male POV.

Lewd, 😍

"each crew member would find a place to unload his own overfilled stores in their time on land, making their deposits in the slick vaults between the courtisiers thighs, one thrust at a time. The ships came in and the ships went out."

18+ RomanceReviews,

oh shit did he already clock her?

RomanceReviews,

oh dang, I want that tub

RomanceReviews,

how does she not know

RomanceReviews,

now I really want that tub 😉

RomanceReviews,

ok, that is way more creative than I was expecting.

18+ RomanceReviews,

I am all about this more equitable creative anatomy thing

RomanceReviews,

I'm listening to this on breaks, this is going to take awhile.

RomanceReviews,

oh he is gonna be pissed

RomanceReviews,

I think I'm a little bit in love with his skeezy, caretaking pirate ass

RomanceReviews,

Hahahahahaha how did he not know.
How 👏 did 👏 he 👏 not 👏 know

RomanceReviews,

This image will stand for my summary review of To Ravish a Rogue. I gave it 5 stars, see romance.io for content warnings as per uzhe.

It's part of a series called Dangerous Tides which is written by all different authors and also, importantly, has pretty book covers, so I'm thinking of reading another one in future. No telling if it will be as delightfully gonzo as this turned out to be.

@romancelandia

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