edit: I actually do have something. A few days ago I decided to wear all my pretty color clothes and I walked around campus feeling nice. Its not much at all, but it felt nice to be close to what I want to be.
first one is when I was able to shave entirely, the morning after I realized, and painted my nails with my sister’s nail polish, and went to school. I had also tried a long beard (I almost throw up thinking about it omg) and I didn’t realize how much I hated it until I erased that sucker. It was one of the scariest days of my life, but it felt so fucking good. It was dulled by some other stuff but I want that feeling again. I haven’t been that brave in a while.