Thank you for posting this! As luck would have it, we literally just re-federated to SJW after a discussion: pawb.social/post/69478
Here’s hoping that defederation remains a nuclear option, because this was a bit of a confusing experience.
Edit: Also (if we were still defederated) I actually can reply to comments from other instance’s users on this post (I did so here while we were defederated). SJW users will not see my comments, but they will get distributed properly to members of other instances. I wouldn’t be able to reply to SJW posts if we were still defederated though.