@onevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

onevia

@[email protected]

Hi! I’m oNevia. I love gaming, design and music. Hit me up if you wanna chat.

She/Her

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onevia,
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Of course you’re allowed to comment! And I’m not OP, but thank you for your insight! I love the idea of peak a boo layers. Never thought of it that way ❤️

onevia,
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I wish I had experience to share, but I just wanted to say I’m so proud of you for working towards this! I haven’t come out to anyone at work yet, but worry about the possible backlash (very much a boys club)

You’re an inspiration and you got this girl! So glad to hear your workplace has been supportive!

On Slack, is there anyone who wouldn’t know who you were once the name change goes into affect? Maybe you can post in a thread everyone is included in and just briefly introduce yourself with your new name and if anyone has questions they can privately message you? Might help mitigate any possible confusion.

onevia,
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Congrats again! I’m sure it will go great. Sounds like you have a good leadership team at work ❤️

onevia,
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“an example of packet loss” 🤣

onevia,
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My egg had sooo many tally marks 😅

onevia,
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Teleportation is the queen of all powers. Invisibility can be basically mimicked with quick teleportation work if needed.

Although my legs would probably atrophy from lack of use, lol. Why walk to the kitchen when I could blink there and get a sandwich and blink back in no time at all?

onevia,
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Queen is superior. At least in chess… and life 😉

onevia,
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Love it!

onevia,
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Interesting view point. I would have to consider whether time still passes for the user of the power? If you freeze time for everyone else, do you still age? And if so, I would still take teleportation over that as travel would be instant vs “appearing” instant to outside perspectives.

onevia,
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I found Dale Gribble

Finally cracked and it's been a rollercoaster.

Last week I got myself a tape measure, figured out some sizing things and ordered a cheap dress online. It looked good, and for the first time in my life I felt beautiful. I felt like I could actually pull of a transition and not look like an ugly man in a dress. I giggled and cried and it felt so good. The next day I went to...

onevia,
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As a recent hatchling (about 5 weeks ago) my experience is no it won’t be that easy. But it does get easier. Sounds like you may have gone at it a little fast but that’s ok! Don’t worry about how you look. Try and focus on how it makes you feel. It’s going to take some time to explore and find out what you like and don’t like.

Those moments of euphoria will come back. And you will have moments of dysphoria. For me, those dysphoria moments got more intense now that I knew what they were, but they’re slowly becoming fewer occurrences.

It’s a marathon girl, not a sprint. No matter how hard we wish we could just press a button and be a woman, it doesn’t happen that fast.

Try and find those moments of your transition you enjoy and slowly build from there ❤️

Love yourself and explore what makes you happy and you’ll find your peace. ❤️❤️

onevia,
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Of course! Trust me, I think we’ve all been there. Hell, I had a similar breakdown about HRT a week or so ago. Sometimes that dysphoria hits hard and its hard to see a way out of it - but you already found your way out. It just takes some time to get there but you WILL get there.

I have found trying to focus on things that give me the most dysphoria and working on addressing that first. So for me, the biggest source of dysphoria is all my body hair. So I’ve come up with a shaving routine to help address it and it’s helped me both have more moments of euphoria and the ability to better appreciate them when they come ❤️

onevia,
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I wonder if they could also do like full body 🥲 might take 100+ sessions but I really hate the body hair dysphoria, lol

Congrats on working on getting that beard shadow gone! Probably gonna be my first area as well ❤️

onevia,
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Oh boy 🥲 I think I’ll start off small, lol. Thanks for the insight!

onevia,
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Hey, pale-skin-and-dark-hair is my middle name! Lol

Looking into laser as well. Thank you 😊

Realized I was likely pansexual last night, some thoughts / observations

i’ve always felt somewhat different than everyone else growing up, in terms of just…sensibility, or how i’d act or react to things, and especially with who i was attracted to. lots of straight girls, sure, but also this meme (sorry for reddit --> www.reddit.com/r/pansexual/…/ahh_who_can_relate/). it’s good to know...

onevia,
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Congrats on realizing your truer self! I’m a relatively recent hatchling as a trans woman and had a lot of those same feelings. More comfort and ease with myself, things tending to click into place (especially when recontextualizing my life), and realizing where a lot of my shame, guilt and self conscious behaviors were coming from.

Love yourself and explore what makes you happy and you’ll find your peace ❤️❤️

How to talk to trans people

...Pro tip: like you would anybody else! LOL People get so awkward and trip all over themselves just because I have a name and pronouns. I don’t put any pressure on them; if they get it right, I’m delighted (90% of the time this only involves… reading). If not, I keep my disappointment tucked away inside. But people will...

onevia,
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Back when I thought I was cis (trans femme now ❤️) it came down to really wanting to respect the person I was talking to or about and really wanting to be a safe space for them.

Not sure if that is something for everyone, but at least for me it was important to try and convey my support in small ways like that and generally giving the person the space to explore their name/pronouns.

onevia,
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“I’ll get to this on Monday, thanks!”

onevia,
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This was so well written, I am not equipped to even respond to all of your questions as I’m new to Linux myself.

Just experiment and try different distros out as you go. You also have the option to dual boot 😉

onevia,
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Wait till they throw a blue shell.

onevia,
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Well damn. I need to learn how to draw

onevia,
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Ohh nooo what ever will I dooo

Got gendered correctly by a stranger for the first time today!

Went to get a prescription today (not hrt, a different drug) and this guy tried to cut the line and the pharmacist said “sir, she is in line next” and it made me sooo happy. (And then I was sad that I had to use my legal name to get my script, but overall happy for getting gendered correctly)

onevia,
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Congrats! I’m so happy for you! Just curious, are you thinking about changing your legal name? Sounds like it might be causing some dysphoria :/

onevia,
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Well good luck and I hope it goes relatively smoothly for you! 💓

onevia,
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Where is the 6 in gap between the door and stall??

onevia,
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You got me there 😂

onevia,
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Both you and your familiar are gorgeous!

onevia,
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Jellyfin or Plex are great front ends that can help organize all your media.

I personally use Plex, but have heard Jellyfin is comparable 😀

onevia,
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I might look more into Jellyfin and see what I think because I am pretty bored of the outdated feel of Plex lately. Is casting supported well with Jellyfin? I like being able to cast my media to my TVs and smart speakers which is relatively easy with Plex. Once it’s set up of course.

onevia,
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Wow, that user interface looks a lot like home assistant. I wonder if they use the same framework.

onevia,
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Girl, I love you 😂

Thanks for affirming my thoughts again and even linking to one of my old posts from my old account.

Like I’ve said before, I have days where I’m my new self and days where I feel like my old self and I think I’m just working on fully accepting this as I explore. I get ahead of myself with basically everything and forget to smell the roses 🌹

onevia,
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Thank you for this. After reading about the possible side effects and changes to my body I don’t necessarily want right now (lower libido and other sexual changes) it got me worried that I wasn’t really sure what I was getting myself into I guess. Also, I may want a second child some day and def don’t have the funds for a sperm bank right now, lol

I think it’s definitely something in my future and I want to look and present more feminine. But Im just not there yet and I’m trying to understand that doesn’t mean I’m not trans or not wanting it. I just have to work up to it.

Really glad to hear it made a big difference in your life ❤️ I’ve been really dysphoric about my wardrobe ever since I came out but also terrified about getting into women’s clothing. So I’m starting slow with some feminine panties and a couple shirts I can wear around the house. Glad to hear I’m not the only one that even has some issues with being confident enough to start dressing more affirming. Even when the dysphoria is tough to get through :/

onevia,
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I think I’ll definitely bring this up to my therapist as well. She already knows about my recent coming out and is really supportive but maybe she can help me work through these insecurities some more.

Feeling like I should love my self is new to me… and something that my wife has been preaching for years. I read her your comment and she gestured generally at the room and said “this is what I’ve been trying to tell you” 😅

Glad to hear this weird time crunch I’m putting on myself is just that. Something I arbitrarily put on myself that is causing more harm than good. I need to learn to enjoy the small changes and transitions as they come and not jump to bigger steps just yet.

onevia,
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Thank you so much for your comment. I’m happy to hear you’ve found happiness in your progress! And I would be happy with your results as well! We spoke a little on discord recently about your ffs ❤️

Thank you again for your support and insight!

onevia,
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That’s a really good way of putting it. The realization of being trans hit like a ton of bricks even though looking back, a part of me always knew? I just did everything I could to hide from it.

Maybe I’ll take a trip to Asheville sometime. I’m not too far from there and presenting as my true gender without fearing (too much) ridicule sounds… Freeing.

I live in rural Indiana in a small ass town so I feel like I need to hide under multiple layers of masculinity to even appear in public 😔

You’re right. We only have one shot at life. And I need to stop regretting and looking forward.

onevia,
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Yeah that makes sense. I know I have aspects of dysphoria that have really ramped up since self accepting. Particularly body hair. I’ve always hated the amount of hair on my body and now I can’t take it anymore so I’ve been shaving like every other day even though it takes me so long 😭

But the next day I feel a lot better about myself so I try and use that as my motivator. Lol. Just got my first bit of femme clothing (undies) and almost cried putting them on (in a good way) so I’m just riding off that euphoria for a bit.

Funny enough, having my kid actually put all of this into high gear for me because he loves me for me. He loves that I’m affectionate and more motherly and when I realized I felt more like a mom than your typical “dad” I knew something was happening in my subconscious. So the prospect of having a second when/if my wife and I are ready has a lot of mixed feelings attached.

Thank you so much for your input and perspective! :)

onevia,
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That’s a really good idea! I didn’t even think of that. Can I ask who you went as? 😁

onevia,
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Ooo that’s from demon slayer right? I haven’t seen it yet, but heard it’s really good :)

That’s great that they braided your hair. Even though it was a wig :P sounds like they may be open minded ❤️

onevia,
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Thank you, I’m definitely going to look into it as I’m having some days where I feel like an imposter. But I feel even more like an imposter presenting more masculine so it’s like “well what am I then?!”

I’ve looked into a lot of things like vocal training and am starting my clothing exploration with the help of my wife. Just trying not to get to ahead of myself as I tend to spiral when doing that. Especially the social coming out part. I am terrified of being clocked as trans in public especially with where I live and my work life.

onevia,
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Youre probably just trolling to troll, but

  1. Being shot doesn’t mean being killed
  2. Why do you assume the population doesn’t change? Ya know people can make babies right? We’re actually pretty good at it. Probably too good at it.
  3. Also, not the fucking point.
onevia,
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Good point

onevia,
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  1. No, the average person doesn’t get shot once every 400 days. That’s not the statistic. It’s 1 person in 400 getting shot. Number of days is not being factored.
  2. Again, you’re looking at the wrong variable. It’s not about how many days. This is a snapshot (of what I assume is population of the US) brought down from millions to hundreds of people. Roughly 400 million people brought down to 400. The whole point is to help people conceptualize just how absurd it is to target such a small minority. Smaller numbers are easier for people to conceptualize percentages.
  3. Sure, the numbers need to be rounded off in order to bring them down to easier to understand figures. I’m not saying they’re perfectly accurate, but they’re close enough to accurate to get the point across. Pointing out how the hypothetical situation doesn’t use exact figures of people distracts from the ultimate message. Which is your point I’m assuming. Just because these numbers are rounded, doesn’t mean they’re inaccurate.

I agree with your last point. Lying doesn’t get anyone anywhere, especially when trying to appeal to “the other side” because that will be pointed out and then the argument (whether valid or not) is put into question.

But this post is about a hypothetical situation with rounded statistics to emphasize the general absurdity of targeting trans folk as “the problem with this country.” When there are actual and bigger issues we as a whole face. Like gun violence, terrible healthcare infrastructure, and mental illness.

Arguing about pedantics just obscures any actual criticism and distracts from the message. And who says this doesn’t make a difference? This is how issues in society gets resolved. By talking through them and bringing attention to them. So yeah - this helps the cause of human rights because it’s about bringing awareness and different perspectives into the conversation.

onevia,
@onevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar
  1. Fair point. I did not realize the “everyday” aspect in the original post. You’re right that it’s a gross over estimation (see point 3) but it still doesn’t mean the average person gets shot every 400 days. It’s a statistical percentage which doesn’t account for birth rates or repeat shootings (although I’m sure those are more rare) and other external factors
  2. Cool beans
  3. After looking at the statistics the CDC puts out on daily shootings (roughly 327 are shot each day out of 400 million) this data point is grossly exaggerated at best. I agree that it doesn’t make sense to round up to 1 person is shot a day when it equates to roughly 0.0000008%.

I still feel like the original post is not “useless” as it sparks conversation (as our replies have shown) and although it has an inaccurate data point, it doesn’t negate the rest of the message.

As a member of the trans community, I don’t think the original message should be discounted or ignored for having an exaggerated statistic (honestly it’s just a lie in this case) because the original message still rings true.

onevia,
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Yep. The shell is our own self acceptance, and then we got to get out of the cage of social pressure to fully be free.

At least that’s how I take it :)

First week of being my authentic self

I (25mtf) realized I might be trans years ago after finding egg_irl on reddit and spending the last few years basically finding every excuse as to why I couldnt be trans. I was terrified of coming out and terrified of the possibility that I might not be cis. The repression and fear for years destroyed me. Once I developed some...

onevia,
@onevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I relate to a lot of this and am so proud of you for being your true self! You’re an inspiration to me and so many others ❤️

Live your life Ada! Thank you so much for sharing ❤️

(Also, did not realize the story of Celeste was written by a trans woman and damn does that not explain why it hit me so hard - def gonna play it again knowing who I am now)

onevia,
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Wow, that’s amazing. I thought it resonated so hard for me because I also was struggling with depression. But now it all has a new meaning for me. Helps give me some more confidence and affirmation that this really is who I am and pushes be to be more accepting of myself ❤️

Thanks for giving me some more detail on it!

onevia,
@onevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Could not relate harder

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