@llPK@mastodon.social
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llPK

@[email protected]

🚴📷🎶🎧🎸📚🔧🧳🫀
Relate to me as me, not what you see on tv

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theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What would my comrades like to info dump about today?

Share with us and make a new friend :)

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@aspiedan @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Miéville 😉

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Do my comrades feel that they have and receive enough support in life?

What could you use?

What resources can you share with others?

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @aspiedan @actuallyautistic comment en dire trop (ou pas assez) 😄

snoopy_jay, to actuallyautistic
@snoopy_jay@mastodon.world avatar

@actuallyautistic
What's the deal with "keen sense of justice"? I am not sure what it's called in English, but I keep reading that it's an autism thing and I definitely have been accused of an "exaggerated" sense of justice or having too much of it. Why do we have that?

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@poloniousmonk @Vincarsi @FrightenedRat @punishmenthurts @snoopy_jay @HaelusNovak @actuallyautistic if autistics disagree, chances are one of them isn’t right. Why wouldn’t it be different with bigotry?

dave, to actuallyautistic
@dave@autisticnomad.social avatar

@actuallyautistic What are your thoughts on physical activity?

More specifically, do you find that it drains your energy more than most people? That you can't push yourself as hard as others? Or, put another way, that you need more rest and recovery time than most people?

Almost two years ago, I tried Couch to 5K. I made it to week five, then burned out and stopped because it so thoroughly drained every bit of energy I had.

I remember being so puzzled and confused about it. I remember thinking, what's wrong with me? I'm eating well. I'm eating enough. I'm getting enough sleep. I'm resting on my off days. I'm not extraordinarily out of shape and I was keeping up with the program well enough until the fifth week.

In retrospect, I'm wondering if it was an Autistic energy management problem, and I'm curious about others' experiences with C25K and other physical activity programs.

#ActuallyAutistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@dave @actuallyautistic I’ve had a problem with moderation in sports, hurting myself because I went all out, or simply not being able to pace myself. I’ve been more interested in accidentally finding a pleasant/aesthetic way of doing something than winning or performing “well”. After washing out or getting tired of many sports, I’ve found that swimming is really great for me.

tine_schreibt, to actuallyautistic
@tine_schreibt@literatur.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

This explains so much o.o

Does anybody else here feel the same?

https://neuroclastic.com/the-identity-theory-of-autism-how-autistic-identity-is-experienced-differently/

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@tine_schreibt @actuallyautistic makes a lot of sense, although I’m a bit wary of the Barnum effect (and generally, of the marketing of identities that is omnipresent online). That said, Ihave often felt that my position within a group should be negotiated based on its values, and that “loyalty” is conditional. But I think even allistics have a role distance, to use Ervin Goffman’s term.

Autistrain, to actuallyautistic
@Autistrain@neurodifferent.me avatar

This morning I had a thought about autism. I like to do jokes based on words or what I call situations.

These jokes can be seen as manipulative by allists. I can point out something on the person's behavior or personal aspect.

I was thinking what's behind it. My intention isn't bad and against the person. The person is like a pretext. It's to show that I appreciate the person and can relate to this person or person's experience.

The autists have this particular relationship with what they see and live. The jokes as an example are to express what I already experience in life whatever how I experience it.

It's a completely different and valid way of communicating how we experience life.

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Autistrain @actuallyautistic I think it’s because allistics use pointing out as a power move.

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Autistrain @actuallyautistic whereas we use it to build, share, maintain excitement toward and engagement with the world.

ScriptFanix, to actuallyautistic French
@ScriptFanix@maly.io avatar

I'm watching the French series "Astrid et Raphaëlle". One of the main characters is severely autistic. First time I saw it I thought the autistic character was too caricatural. But watching it from the beginning a second time changed my mind. For the first time, I can fully identify to a character.
@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ScriptFanix @actuallyautistic I didn’t know about this show. Will definitely check it out. A bit wary of ableism though (it being French). Thanks!

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Do my comrades struggle with eating too fast and taking in too much air?

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@TzipiDee @PurpleStephyr @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic same here!

PurpleStephyr, to actuallyautistic
@PurpleStephyr@chaosfem.tw avatar

Ok, I have the contract for the new job. Why am I stuck uncertain if I want to sign it or not? I'm miserable at my current job, but my brain just keeps telling me that change is bad/scary. Why am I like this?

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@PurpleStephyr @actuallyautistic the knee-jerk answer would be "you’ll never know everything, you have to take the risk", or "if your current position is bad, and the other hasn’t proven bad yet, despite your experience and your research, then it might be better". But my answer would be to look inward a bit, and write down potential issues (big and small) about the new job. Then figure out who you can ask about them (inside the company or not). Or sleep first 🤔

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Good morning comrades

How are you practicing self-care this Sunday?

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I’m in a train station. Fresh air, everyone does their thing without noticing me (or anyone else). Someone is playing droning music on a public piano. It’s very relaxing.

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@adamswbrown @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic it was!

dyani, to actuallyautistic
@dyani@social.coop avatar

Neurokin, how do you feel about video meetings vs. in-person meetings?

I find them SO much easier and less draining!

This study says we get less neuro feedback from them and I think that's why I like them.

https://neurosciencenews.com/zoom-conversations-social-neuroscience-24996/

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@dyani @actuallyautistic you can see yourself. That’s a relief: « I’m not making a weird face »

AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

The autistic urge to spend hours deciding which music to listen to for a particular event or situation, because any music you listen to must fit your mood, the vibe, the pace, the weather and the season.

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic I miss Spotify for this, I had folders of playlists so that it didn’t take too much time to find something that fit my mood. I also had sort of random playlists.

llPK, to actuallyautistic
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@halfbit_ @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic I like this a lot. It works because the delay and insistence short-circuit automatic threat response. Kind of like saying « how are you doing » in a non-stereotypical way.

AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

A big part of being autistic for me is being very intentional with my word choices in order to say what I mean and mean what I say.

To follow that up I then start having a bunch of people claim I said something I absolutely did not because they chose to add additional meanings they made up themselves.

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@halfbit_ @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic probably just me, but I find it hilarious that improv comedy is based on « yes, and », and that in that context everyone is fine with it. Basically it’s only fine to use « yes, and » in the context of a meaningless activity based on bullshitting. Otherwise it’s being a mean truth bully.

KaCi, to actuallyautistic
@KaCi@autistics.life avatar

It's always a difficult time for me, when the amount of thoughts in my mind impacts my ability to communicate with other people. There is so much I want to share, but I am not able to find a structure that makes it possible for others to understand me.

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@KaCi @actuallyautistic I can relate. I’d actually be interested in finding practical solutions to these problems from an autistic point of view.

llPK, to actuallyautistic
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

Recently self-dx here, just wanted to share that I’ve listened to an episode of a podcast with a theme that fits well with this group, I think, based on discussions of the social model of disability, parallels to deaf culture, and many other tangents. Comments very, very welcome. @actuallyautistic https://autisticculture.substack.com/p/episode-13-labels-and-autism-special

AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

When talking to autistic people, especially in the workplace or at school, be absolutely clear and unambiguous about instructions.

Especially don't leave anything unsaid, or to be assumed. If you do that there's a good chance it won't be done, because you didn't ask us to.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@engagedpractx @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic I’ve heard it as the curse of knowledge :

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_knowledge

cynaq, to actuallyautistic
@cynaq@c.im avatar

I just did that test.

I went in blind and didn't think I'd score too high because as far as I understand what monotropism proposes, I didn't think it fit my profile very well. I tried to answer the questions as accurately as I could, without overthinking.

Well...

The result says I'm more monotropic than 73% of autistic people and 98% of allistic people.

I guess I was misunderstanding what monotropism would feel like, if these results are anywhere near accurate, because I'm quite surprised, to say the least.

Would anyone else like to chime in and discuss this with me a bit? This result was not at all what I was expecting.

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@cynaq @actuallyautistic I answered as frankly as I could, and it doesn’t completely make sense to me that I could score so high even among the autistic population. I’m skeptical and yet monotropism is the best word I’ve ever seen describe how I think generally. 😫
Monotropism Score: 222 / 235
Your Average: 4.72

This score suggests that you are more Monotropic than about 95% of autistic people and about 100% of allistic people based on data from the initial validation study.

raantuva, to actuallyautistic
@raantuva@turtleisland.social avatar

How to make and keep neurotypical friends as an Autist? Any ideas? I feel the lack of neurotypicals in my life is doing me harm. @actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@roknrol @jamesmarshall @raantuva @actuallyautistic If I understand your point, it’s similar to people who think they « speak normally », and that only other people have accents. The powerful group doesn’t want to be identified as such, or even described. But I think to understand and defend ourselves we need that description. We’d probably also need a better word than « neurotypical », which doesn’t describe behavior in any way.

samiam, to actuallyautistic
@samiam@lor.sh avatar

@actuallyautistic so many thanks to those who have made feel feel heard and welcome here in the past weeks. the story thus far: 41 years of "muddling thru" depression, anxiety, misc mysterious health problems, etc when one day a new friend (very rare!) shared with me that they are autistic, and respectfully asked me if i might be too.
this [re]kindled lots of thoughts and feels and sent me down a path of recognizing and uncovering some fairly autistic-seeming traits and behaviors that i had been ignoring or suppressing. i have lately been thinking of myself as "provisionally autistic" which is how i'm trying to walk this line between, one the one hand, not mentally framing Autism As One True The Explanation For Everything and stretching things to try to force them to fit; and, on the other hand, not giving in to Autistic Imposter Syndrome. i want "provisionally autistic" to be a comfortable in-between place where i can "let myself be as autistic as i am" without "trying to be autistic when i'm not" and just observe myself and see how it goes. if that makes any sense?

but (and this is a question mainly to all you late/recent adult [self/]dx folks out there, but of course also anyone else who wants to respond):
How do you KNOW?
i'm stuck in this place where lots of things seem relatable and plausible but there is no sense of AHA IT FITS. there's no THIS FINALLY EXPLAINS IT. i know it's early for me yet -- i've been taking this seriously for weeks not years -- and i probably have to be patient with myself . . . but ggghhhghg.
maybe i'm just venting? i don't know. i'm having a day.

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@fictionalbutnot @samiam @actuallyautistic don’t want to be that person who says everything constraining us is ableist, but maybe just maybe you can safely ramble on here and no one will object.

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@fictionalbutnot @samiam @actuallyautistic gotcha. I’m not trying to make you think more about this, I’m sorry that I did. Feel free to disregard this.

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @sfwrtr @petrichor @itsmeholland @samiam @actuallyautistic "choose your mask"

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Susan60 @sfwrtr @petrichor @itsmeholland @samiam @actuallyautistic yes, agreed, thinking about it more, what I actually meant was a bit less catchy, more like: "choose between these 3 or 4 masks that we made, and rest assured, none will fit quite right".

ahrimans_erbe, to actuallyautistic German
@ahrimans_erbe@social.anoxinon.de avatar

@actuallyautistic
I got the infornation that my mother alway thought or "knew" that I am autistic. I didn't talked yet about it with her and I can't imagine that there is any chance I can't escalate it totally. I am 36 right now and feel deceived and betrayed. I had a tough childhood and youth. And big part of it was that she never set boundaries to me and especially my sibblings. There was a lot to forgive already in the past. And I thought I made my peace with my past, my family and myself.

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ahrimans_erbe @26pglt @actuallyautistic society at large being as awfully ignorant of autism, and anthroposophy being an actively obscurantist philosophy on top of that, I can’t begin to imagine the resulting confusion

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@26pglt @ahrimans_erbe @actuallyautistic I think even with the most generous outlook, obscurantism is a waste of time and energy. No fun at all, just bullying and gaslighting. I don’t know how much you know about anthroposophy, though. Maybe you’re speaking in general terms. In that case look it up.

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ahrimans_erbe @26pglt @actuallyautistic I’m happy that you got out. We don’t have as many schools of that type in France (where I live) thankfully, but they’re still out there. I wish people would realize what they are.

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ahrimans_erbe @26pglt @actuallyautistic the French Miviludes (Interministerial Mission of Vigilance and Combat against Sectarian Drifts) issued a report very critical of Steiner schools in 2021. Read it starting on page 72 (machine translation works fine) https://www.miviludes.interieur.gouv.fr/sites/default/files/publications/francais/MIVILUDES-RAPPORT2021_web_%2027_04_2023%20_0.pdf

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ahrimans_erbe @26pglt @actuallyautistic sure, I wasn’t suggesting your knowledge was lacking. Just providing some info for whoever would be interested.

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ahrimans_erbe @26pglt @actuallyautistic Grégoire Perra (a former, reformed teacher in a Steiber school) has written and talked extensively about it. Don’t know how much of his work is translated but he’s a formidable resource.

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ahrimans_erbe @26pglt @actuallyautistic @AnthroBlogger sorry, reformed is not the right word. He’s basically realized what he was doing and has decided to do everything he can to obliterate anthroposophy.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How do my comrades feel about haircuts?

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I avoid them. I need to schedule the next one at the end of each haircut at the salon, or months will pass until growth slowly becomes so unpleasant (visually and otherwise) that a visit to the salon will feel necessary. I know of a few people who cut their own hair, because they hate salons, and I suspect they’re autistic.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Is there such a thing as “autistic energy”?

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic do you mean "energy" as in "vibe", something that radiates from us, or as in "power source", something that allows us to perform tasks?

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@danimo @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic « this new field of study, known as autistic physics, would flourish in the years to come »

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@axnxcamr @danimo @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic not us specifically 😅

AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

If someone in person tells me something bad has happened to them, my first response is to share a similar experience I have had, as a way to show solidarity and remind them they're not alone.

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic usually they don’t want to tell you what happened as information (“the event itself”). They want to tell you what important thing happened to THEM.

Autistrain, to neurodiversity
@Autistrain@neurodifferent.me avatar

I have a question to about a sentence that a father of an autistic child said. What do you think/is your reaction to the following sentence?

"There's a little mourning to be done about having a normal child."

I deliberately don't give my opinion to avoid any influence.

@actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@yourautisticlife @willaful @Autistrain @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity I see it as a specific form of acceptance (of a challenge that will not go away).

ninokadic, to philosophy
@ninokadic@mastodon.social avatar

Who do you think is the most underrated philosopher? 🤔

#philosophy @philosophy

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ninokadic @philosophy Derek Parfit? Not underrated as in “people think his work isn’t interesting but is actually is” but as in “more people who enjoy very logical thought but have no background in philosophy should read Reasons and Persons”

KaCi, to actuallyautistic
@KaCi@autistics.life avatar

After decades of analysing myself and other people's behaviour I understood certain patterns, correlations and causalities. But in social situations I have the impression that I want to talk (a lot) about people or topics and most other people want to make a kind of discussion about being right or wrong and finding my and their "place" in a social hierarchy. The best base I can build with other people is kindness and dark humour but it's still difficult.

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@KaCi @actuallyautistic are there other autistics or atypicals around?

StrassenKatze, to actuallyautistic German
@StrassenKatze@universeodon.com avatar

Wow, there's absolutely no reason to call me out like this 😕
https://imgur.com/gallery/8zoF9Uf

@actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@StrassenKatze @actuallyautistic it’s not rules they’re following, it’s a shared form of incompetence, of inability to focus on one thing that matters. They revel in their incompetence and make fun of competence because objectively they couldn’t match it without burning out.

zenforyen, to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic I'm not #actuallyautistic but I got #adhd diagnosed at 29, realizing that all cliche symptoms and diagnostic surveys are very superficial crap, lacking many subtle aspects.

I wonder, are the "cliche symptoms" for autism any good? E.g. can someone be autistic even if they can "read" other people just fine, and have no noticeable "special interest" or "rigid routines"?

Am I correct thinking this "special interest" thing must be rather persistent, like years/life long?

Thanks!

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ar_collins @zenforyen @actuallyautistic wow, this post packs a hell of a punch

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@ar_collins @zenforyen @actuallyautistic sounds awesome, and for the record I was “this guy” who couldn’t shut up as well

AutisticAdam, to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Autistic people try their best every day to adapt to non-autistic people, exhausting ourselves.

Do non-autistic people ever try to adapt for autistic people?

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic yes, when the boss is autistic and the employee is NT, and no one is aware of this neurotype interaction issue. In my experience it can go wrong and lead to burnouts.

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@marytzu @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic allistics running themselves into the ground trying to please their autistic boss, and the boss finding things wrong with a level of detail that’s unnerving (“Am I incompetent?”). An autistic in a position of power who’s focusing on the task with a laser focus, and not giving allistics the usual emotes while delivering feedback can really shake them up (“Am I worthless to them? Is my work the only thing they care about?”)

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Vincarsi @marytzu @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic I wonder how you got the message that they didn’t believe you

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Vincarsi @marytzu @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic part of me wonders if we’ll ever read a book on deciphering allistic emotional language from an autistic point of view, but part of me thinks that it probably already exists under an inconspicuous name 🤔

llPK,
@llPK@mastodon.social avatar

@Vincarsi @marytzu @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic anyone who’s read Ervin Goffman’s progression to the impossibly detailed “Frame Analysis” or the out of print masterpiece “Lectures on conversation” by Harvey Sacks can probably relate

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