doggle

doggle, 7 months ago

@actuallyautistic

Details:
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/oct/29/adult-adhd-autism-assessment-nhs-screening-system-yorkshire-pilot

#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD

doggle, 8 months ago

@markusl @Aerliss @StrassenKatze @actuallyautistic

Having self dx'd early this year and started to recognise this in others I wonder about if and when to say anything.

In general I will only talk about my journey and let them realise or not, that this might be relevant them and worth looking into.

doggle, 9 months ago

@dukeoffailure
It is early days for me but I'm sure my relationships will change for the better.

I have seen this already with one allistic friend who has an autistic nephew. I find him difficult because we're so different but since telling him about my autism, which he already spotted 🤷‍♂️, he's super accommodating, always asks if an arrangement is ok etc.

Met ex recently and we began to talk about it. First self reflection and she's wondering if she's on the spectrum.
@actuallyautistic

doggle, 9 months ago

@Maker_of_Things @drandrewv2 @actuallyautistic @HarrietMaker @The_End_Terrace this is fascinating. I like exploring mental states, different layers of imagining etc but haven't read about hypnogogia although I think I have experience it. Certainly things like the Tetris example are familiar.

I do similar for software design. Not explicitly visual although it does feel like the same brain space - shifting, sliding, rotating as I do with visual imagination, until things seem to fit or resonate.

doggle, 10 months ago

@arisummerland
👍 Despite a decade of therapy and years of a "being day" every week I had no idea I had a constant background level of anxiety and was still more years from self dx!

But for about twenty years I've had a kind of ad hoc meditation/being practice, different styles over time, some I come back to now and again.

I can see how over two decades it has helped. So I spend time every day, at different times, with some kind of being time.

@rekindled @actuallyautistic

doggle, 10 months ago

@obrerx @JoBlakely @actuallyautistic

We can't know enough to comment, just to listen.

Loss is awful, take care of yourself and don't let others define you

doggle, 10 months ago

@lizzard @actuallyautistic he's probably old enough to understand you have needs too. When my kids were young I used to set aside time for me and get their agreement to let me have that time while they did something for me like the washing up. This was decades before I realised I was autistic but I just knew I had to have some recharge time each day. Hope that helps.

doggle, 10 months ago

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic not just for autistics!

This just made me realise something that happened a few years ago was due to my need for such clear communication, which didn't happen. I expressed interest in giving a presentation but neither of us confirmed. When I didn't turn up the organiser was furious! And I'm like WTF.

Now I can see the gap between autistic and allistic communication, but can't understand how they operate without what for me is essential: clarity.

doggle, 10 months ago

@chromatic @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic it's a factor but not in the case I described.

On the same topic, on Thursday a friend visited who I've not seen for ages but we both wanted to meet again while he's just 10 minutes walk away.

I wanted a day we could sit outside but he couldn't make Friday. Saturday was forecast heavy rain but he insisted he'd come this morning.

He's not come, no contact 🤷‍♂️

I expected this TBH but it is still frustrating.

doggle, 10 months ago

@simid @KatyElphinstone @actuallyautistic how about "self realization".

I agree that this is very common, and tends to occur wherever humans get together to grow, with awareness of that or not. Maybe this is part of the human condition?

At different stages in our lives, our growth, we seek different things, the next thing, and much of our learning comes from stumbling or close shaves, at least for me.

doggle, 10 months ago

@simid @KatyElphinstone @actuallyautistic what I'm saying is that while there is a lot of bad behaviour and horrific abuse, this is a reflection of humanity. One description is "collective shadow" and it is where organisations and the individuals in them don't recognise this and avoid the very difficult work to deal with it, that the abuse happens, and is covered up, or even facilitated and normalised.

doggle, 10 months ago

@simid @KatyElphinstone @actuallyautistic I think every individual, group, organisation, culture has its dark side, and its light side or at least the potential for that. The problem is whether they individually or collectively recognise and address it.

There are groups and organisations that do, but even they can fail.

doggle, 10 months ago

@PatternChaser @PatrickWirth @UnknownOutrider @Claire @benjamincox @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic
I've been doing this and I still get responses like "I can read between the lines" or no response, it a response that doesn't address the thing etc 🤷‍♂️

What I'm learning to do is draw a line, be clear and not get drawn into emotional crap (assumptions, blaming etc). They can now respond any way they like and I deal with that rather than try to change it which is what I used to do.

doggle, 10 months ago

@Claire

Must admit I've been learning to do that too (in my sixties). I found it very hard to start but it's getting easier #UsefulMasking

@PatternChaser @PatrickWirth @UnknownOutrider @benjamincox @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic

doggle, 10 months ago

@PatternChaser @Claire @PatrickWirth @UnknownOutrider @benjamincox @ScruffyDux @actuallyautistic

Learning to not answer a question if I don't want to.

doggle, 11 months ago

@mystique @actuallyautistic @psychology @academicchatter that would explain a lot, I mean "how is X, Y and Z not fucking obvious?" is a frequent 🤷‍♂️