I always wondered how shit like this worked. My mom’s uostairs neighbors are of normal size, but they stomp around like they each weigh 600 lbs. I don’t get it.
The best way to handle it is not to. Don’t agree or disagree, don’t discuss, don’t offer suggestions or commiserate.
That’s essentially what I’ve been doing this entire time. I don’t really respond or say much to either of them about it. It hasn’t been helping me.
I don’t tell A that I agree that B is lazy. And I don’t tell B that A doesn’t like her or think she’s lazy.
Your responsibility is for you to get through the workday. Your job is your job
It might be “just a job” to most, but over time I had really grown to love and care about these people. They are almost my whole world, even though obviously they didn’t ask to be and really shouldn’t have to be responsible for the way I feel.
How do I alter my own feelings? How do I transition to not caring? Do I have to stop speaking to these people and stop having fun with them? I just don’t know what to do about it.
If it were like this from the very beginning, I think I would have been able to handle it just fine. But since it has been a progressive change for the worse when it used to be a great situation, it’s difficult for me to handle.
I think you’re not going to want to hear this, but it’s not your monkey, not your circus
No, but it is frustrating to be in the middle of it when they used to both get along and it was a nice place to be every day. It’s especially shitty because I looked forward to seeing them every.day.
Telling the “hardworking” one that I don’t want to hear about it any more is a decent idea. Honestly I hadn’t thought about it. I’ll have to remember to do that the next time she complains.
Unfortunately it still won’t help with the issue of the tension in the room when they are together. I don’t know how to force myself to be happy in a lonely corner by myself and ignore that part. Would appreciate some thoughts on that if you had any.
It’s actually a sentiment shared by many of my coworkers and B has gotten feedback from the supervisor about it in the past before. She doesn’t have any intent on changing tbh. I know that bit because she brought it up to me (not because I was calling her lazy).
I just don’t really personally care much about whether or not someone doesn’t work as hard as someone else…unless they are also a shithead lol. Which she isn’t so it doesn’t bother me. Or if she was maybe gone for like half the day I might care.
When you take yourself out of the equation, I’d put money on them working it out.
Doubtful. The hardworking one doesn’t confront people when she has an issue with something. I’m not really purposefully “in the equation” to begin with though. I just exist in the space where it’s happening.
A big part of that tension is the two of them looking for commiseration from you in their gripes about the other. I bet if you declare yourself to not be a conduit for this energy, it will diffuse the whole thing.
It’s even more awkward than that. It’s only the “hardworking” one doing the complaining. The “lazy” one doesn’t talk behind the other’s back like that.
Sometimes, one of the best things you can do for a person is pop their bubble. If you tell the complainer that you don’t want to hear her complaints, it might even end the complaints in her own head too.
That’s an interesting thought! I doubt it will make them completely go away, but perhaps it may lessen them.
Unfortunately, it turns out that one of them just quit so this whole post is moot now. If only I had waited a few days to post then all of this wouldn’t be necessary.
I’m also sad to lose one of the people I care about.
When I’m happy, I try not to listen to sad music because it brings the mood down. But when you’re already feeling like shit, sad music helps you feel even worse. LPT
Plastic seals food, sterile medical implements, medicine, beverages, etc… it’s seems like plastic is used as a way to seal things safely. Post pandemic rising, I see even more. My work used to be have plastic utensils in the cafeteria, for example, an already wasteful thing. Now, post-2020, every fork, knife, and spoon is...
Tangentially related, I work in a medical laboratory, and the amount of daily trash we generate (not talking plastic specifically) is quite frankly horrifying. But there isn’t a good solution for my field.
My father, who convinced me (16 m) at the time to move in with him instead of my mother when they moved. All 3 of the other siblings stayed with my mother. He then kicked me out the week I turned 18, a week into my senior year. Since then he stays in touch only to speak with his grandchildren (now going on 4 kids). I have never...
I don’t think witnessing it is really enough to understand it for everyone.
For example, I don’t fit in with traditional gender norms. Yet at the same time I don’t feel like I was born into the wrong sex/gender. And if I was born as the opposite sex, I think I’d be pretty indifferent about it. I don’t really care either way for myself, personally.
I have both transgender and nonbinary friends and I simply don’t relate to their struggles. While I don’t feel like I fit in, I don’t feel like I’m the “wrong” gender/sex either.
I respect transgender and nonbinary individuals. And I think they absolutely deserve to live their life the way that makes them the most comfortable being themselves. But unfortunately, even witnessing this stuff fist hand doesn’t mean I’ll ever personally be able to understand gender dysphoria.
I’m supportive, but I’ll never truly understand. But I don’t think you have to fully be able to understand to be an ally.
The recent chat bot advances have pretty much changed my life. I used to get anxiety by receiving mails and IMs, sometimes even from friends. I lost friendships over not replying. My main issue being that I am sometimes get completely stuck in a loop of how to formulate things in the best way to the point of just abandoning the...
even be bothered to formulate an answer to me. What am I, chopped liver?
OP isn’t doing this because they don’t care. It’s the exact opposite. They care so much and stress so much about it that they have difficulty in expressing themselves.
I agree that I don’t think it’s helpful for OP to continue doing this long term, but all of these comments here are so judgemental to OP.
I had roommates for a few years. It was seriously one of the worst times of my life. I have a bit of social anxiety, but I had absolutely no idea how bad it would get with roommates. My roommates were generally pretty friendly and left me alone, but I had an incredibly hard time working up the courage to leave my room to eat or even go to the freaking bathroom. I was so hungry all the time, but I couldn’t eat because I was afraid they would see me. I started collecting non-perishable foods and kept them in my room so I wouldn’t starve. I also had issues sleeping because I would stay up at night when they were asleep so I could eat. But then lack of enough sleep or food made me paranoid as fuck thinking ghosts were out to get me. I was seriously going insane.
I get that 99.999% of people aren’t like this and don’t have this issue. But some of us just do really poorly living with others. Once I was finally able to move out on my own, my life changed for the better.
Yeah, my roommates were pretty nice. I was just nutso.
I will say tbf to some people not wanting to have roommates, sometimes people really do end up having a shit situation where their roommate ends up being a shitty person. Those are difficult to navigate. I’ve known some people who had gotten themselves into that situation and it can be pretty tough.
I would say in general, people in the US seem to think you’re a failure if you haven’t moved out by 18. But really in many other countries, it’s perfectly normal to live with your parents well into adulthood. If you have a good relationship with them, it shouldn’t be seen as shameful to do that either.
For me it’s like when I’m having a bad day at work, I wish for the workday to end.
But then I get home and I have to be alone with my thoughts until the next workday. And I find myself wishing the weekend would end so that I can distract myself with work.
Yeah I have read the prion-Alzheimers hypothesis. But it’s just that…a hypothesis.
Unfortunately, we still have absolutely no idea how and why Alzheimer’s develops. What you’ve linked is a new bit of info I hadn’t heard yet. Thanks for the interesting link.
Ehh…this isn’t always the case. But you definitely never have to say anything to the police. You just ask for a lawyer and say nothing else. The lawyer will know whether or not they can hold you.
Not sure why it has to be. Being a superpower, it already defies logic. Why is it necessarily painful? I don’t see why the brain can’t temporarily shut off pain receptors if it’s already doing something fantastical.
I’m reminded of the Animorphs books, where they describe the process as grotesque and the odd sensations they feel.
Merry Happy! I posted a few days ago asking for help with a prelit tree that had entire portions not lighting up, or flickering like crazy. It was a crack tree situation and I could not find anything helpful on my own and you wonderful people came together and saved Christmas/ yamainwitch-mas. I was literally ready to just throw...
I used to regularly snooze my alarm which i had set for 7:00, however recently i have noticed that i directly wake up by my alarm at 7:10 and don’t remember snoozing my alarm!...
I mean, on paper snoozing sounds stupid, but it feels so fucking good. Hard to stop something that feels good like that. Falling asleep at night feels ok, but falling back asleep in the morning after you’ve just been woken up feels so goddamn good. I don’t know what heroin feels like, but I wonder if it’s like that.
OP, I haven’t done that lately, but I used to be a person who would chronically turn off their alarm while still half asleep. I wouldn’t remember doing it and I would wake up late because my alarm was shut off. I tried so many different tricks to help me get up on time and I finally figured out what works for me personally…
What has worked for me for years now is to have two devices with an alarm. The device physically closest to me (my phone, often on the nightstand or in the bed itself) will ring first. As a failsafe in case I turn it off without realizing, I have a second device with an alarm across the room from me that will ring some time after the first. Because you have to get up to shut off the second alarm, it’s much harder to do it while half asleep. And because you already woke up at least briefly to shut off the first alarm, you’re more likely to hear the second one and not miss it because it’s too far away.
I figured this out after years and years of being a frustratingly chronically late person in high school and college. Once I was an hour or two late to a freaking final exam in college and the professor was nice enough to still let me take the exam. It’s been a struggle, but after employing my current method, I haven’t had many issues.
I tried using weird apps like this. But I find that my dumb lizard morning brain just gets confused at why the loud device won’t stop screaming at me. I briefly tried apps that made you solve a simple puzzle to dismiss the alarm, but my half asleep self didn’t understand what was going on and would just hold down the power button to turn off the phone and still be late.
After years and years of trying different methods, what works for me is having two alarms.
The first alarm is physically very close to you. It rings first. This alarm is easy for you to notice and wake up to, but also easy to shut off if you’re half asleep. That’s fine because it’s only the first attack.
The second alarm is across the room from you. It rings second, some time after the first one has gone off. This is your failsafe alarm in the event you accidentally snooze too much or turn the first alarm off. Because it’s far away from you, it wakes you up a bit to walk across the room so you’re more aware of what you’re doing. Also because it’s far away from you, if you try to use it as the first alarm instead of the second, you might not hear it and not wake up to it. This is why it is the second alarm and not the first or only alarm. You’ve already woken up once with the first alarm, so you’re more likely to still be able to hear this one and wake up.
I had chronic and significant issues with shutting off my alarm when half asleep all throughout my teenage years and early twenties to the point where it threatened and even sometimes affected my grades. This is the method that finally worked for me and I have rarely had an issue since.
Nope. It doesn’t at all matter how much sleep I’ve gotten. Even if I consistently get 9 hours of sleep every day for the entire week, it still feels so good to snooze. Obviously it’s easier to not snooze as much if I’ve slept more, but it still feels fucking amazing.
It has always been this way for me, no matter how much or how little sleep I get. It’s wild to me if you don’t experience this.
I’m getting really tired of my food expiring before I make anything with it, and I want to quit buying anything that can’t be frozen or last several months in the cupboard.
I pay for Spotify for 7 years or so now and i'm so sick of all the ads. After every update there seems to be an: oops, sorry, you have ads now. Podcasts are filled with ads. I was just listening to a podcast where they shoved in 3 ads mid-sentence. How long until musicians put ads in their songs. I'm just so sick of it.
It’s weird, I’ve seen quite a few posts like the OP relatively recently complaining about how Spotify premium suddenly has ads now. Yet I’ve had a premium subscription for 10 year now (rip my $$$) and have yet to hear a single ad since subbing. Well, unless it’s a sponsored segment placed in there by the creator.
Maybe it’s because I don’t listen to many podcasts? But even when I have, I have literally never heard a Spotify ad. Maybe the specific podcasts I’ve listened to don’t have the “feature” that OP describes.
Maybe it’s regional? Maybe it’s an error? Maybe OP doesn’t recognize ads placed there by the content creator?
I found someone in our user database with the name “Deekshita Anusri”. I then imagined the poor soul at the border who had to read that name in front of the person named so....
What were your other top genres? Why do you think you’ve transitioned away from EDM? I feel like I’ve been slowly listening to EDM more over the years (and pop is always my staple), but this year R&B managed to sneak its way into my top five.
Top artist: Cautious Clay (pop/r&b) (top 0.05% of listeners)
Top song: That’s Hilarious by Charlie Puth (pop)
To be honest, I don’t think my top song is really standout compared to the others in my top. But I had a rough day and played that song on repeat like a zillion times for some reason.
Some bangers from my top five are:
#2: How I Want Ya - Dawin Remix by Hudson Thames (pop/electronic)
And #5: Want You in My Room by Carly Rae Jepsen (pop)
Ah yeah fair. I try to use Spotify’s algorithms to my advantage to find new stuff I like, but I only seem to resonate with a new song it suggests every now and then.
Years back before Spotify I used to use Pandora. Idk if they are still around but their radio feature always seemed better than Spotify to me. It’s been years though.
Unfortunate, but not too surprising I guess, especially because it’s not popular anymore.
Pandora used to have the best radio feature, but it just didn’t have a way to go back and play a song you liked. So I switched to Spotify and I guess most others did as well.
Yeah I use the song radio all the time. Problem is it’s not a true radio but it’s just a pre-made playlist of a certain number of songs. I feel like with Pandora, whenever I started a radio it would morph over time and not just play the same 20 songs on repeat. Maybe I’m misremembering though.
I don’t think the web player version of Spotify seems to have that feature. Unfortunately, there are a lot of things the web player lacks, but I can’t download the app on my work computer.
When I’m at home I’m usually on my phoje on the mobile app which seems to have most features though.
Yeah I like smart shuffle but again it’s not available on the web player. I wonder why Spotify decided to so heavily cripple the web player. I’m guessing somehow they don’t get as much data out of us that way somehow?
I actually can’t use my phone for Spotify at work because I have to use a specific Bluetooth headset connected to my work computer. My work has me dictating things into the computer all day with my work headset.
Daylist sounds like an interesting feature. Thanks, I may check it out!
Americans, what are your plans if Trump wins in 2024?
What could my upstairs neighbor possibly be doing to make this much noise?
Their foot steps sound like they just have 2 pegs for feet… they hit so hard....
What's the funniest you could get tattoed on the inside of your lip? (leminal.space)
I was thinking “Howdy tooth man” and a little tooth wearing a cowboy hat or the word “No” for a more literal meaning to the idiom “Read my lips”...
How do you deal with two people who you are close to and have to spend every day with...but one of them hates the other one?
I apologize if this isn’t allowed, but I wasn’t sure exactly where to put it. Just let me know if it’s inappropriate and I’ll delete. Thanks....
What is your Depression Anthem?
How will we ever get away from plastics when they are ubiquitous for safety
Plastic seals food, sterile medical implements, medicine, beverages, etc… it’s seems like plastic is used as a way to seal things safely. Post pandemic rising, I see even more. My work used to be have plastic utensils in the cafeteria, for example, an already wasteful thing. Now, post-2020, every fork, knife, and spoon is...
How do I cope with my father hating me?
My father, who convinced me (16 m) at the time to move in with him instead of my mother when they moved. All 3 of the other siblings stayed with my mother. He then kicked me out the week I turned 18, a week into my senior year. Since then he stays in touch only to speak with his grandchildren (now going on 4 kids). I have never...
Don't recall ever having this explained to me... (lemmy.world)
How often do you use "AI" to reply to your messages, if at all?
The recent chat bot advances have pretty much changed my life. I used to get anxiety by receiving mails and IMs, sometimes even from friends. I lost friendships over not replying. My main issue being that I am sometimes get completely stuck in a loop of how to formulate things in the best way to the point of just abandoning the...
How poor is the average American?
I’ve been watching a few American TV shows and it blows my mind that they put up with such atrocious working terms and conditions....
Every night (startrek.website)
I sure hope I can keep up! (startrek.website)
What are some recent breakthroughs or findings that haven't received much attention?
What's something that feels illegal to know?
How would you survive if you had to live by hiding in the woods?
What super power would be impractical in real life?
THANK YOU LEMMINGS!!! Update (lemmy.world)
Merry Happy! I posted a few days ago asking for help with a prelit tree that had entire portions not lighting up, or flickering like crazy. It was a crack tree situation and I could not find anything helpful on my own and you wonderful people came together and saved Christmas/ yamainwitch-mas. I was literally ready to just throw...
Anyone else no longer remember snoozing their alarm?
I used to regularly snooze my alarm which i had set for 7:00, however recently i have noticed that i directly wake up by my alarm at 7:10 and don’t remember snoozing my alarm!...
What's some easy recipes that only use non-perishables?
I’m getting really tired of my food expiring before I make anything with it, and I want to quit buying anything that can’t be frozen or last several months in the cupboard.
What is the least amusing joke you're aware of?
What's a cozy, preferably non-alcoholic drink to enjoy for cozy wintery nights?
No cinnamon, or overly spicy, chocolate drinks (did I just rule out everything?) :/
Customs Officers: Have you ever laughed out loud when someone gave you their passport and they had an… unusual name?
I found someone in our user database with the name “Deekshita Anusri”. I then imagined the poor soul at the border who had to read that name in front of the person named so....
Spotify Wrapped 2023 is out, what's your top artist and top song for the year?
If you don’t use Spotify, what’s your favorite artist and song right now?