@charlytune@mander.xyz
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charlytune

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Bona fide idiot

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charlytune,
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That’s beyond insulting, I’d call that a controlling / abusive relationship. And if his wife seriously thinks he’s a risk to their child why the fuck would she have a baby with him and stay with him? That poor kid is going to grow up with a really damaging view of men, male / female relationships, and parental relationships.

charlytune,
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TIL there’s more than one book!

charlytune,
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I was brought up before showers were something that most people had installed, and we just washed at the sink with a flannel cloth. We washed face, pits, bum, and feet twice a day, and only had a bath once or twice a week. I still just do a wash of the important bits at the sink with a cloth if I’m feeling very apathetic.

charlytune,
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Myers Briggs is posh astrology.

charlytune,
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That doesn’t stop an absolute fuck ton of people believing in it. One of my friends is quite deeply into it, she’s in FB groups about it, and decides what everyone’s type is upon meeting them. According to her I only think it’s nonsense because I’ve only done the free online tests, not the proper one. She wouldn’t listen the other day when I tried to put her right about flouride in the water, either.

charlytune,
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This was a really interesting read, thank you.

charlytune, (edited )
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Testosterone

I’d tried a few different combinations of HRT (for menopause), and was doing ok ish on oestrogen patches and micronised progesterone capsules. But I still felt like a shadow of myself, a barely functioning husk.

I ended up paying privately to see a menopause specialist (after finding out the waiting time for the NHS clinic I was referred to was at least a year and a half - just for my referral to get looked at), and she prescribed me testosterone. Within 48 hours I noticed a huge difference, I felt like I’d recovered a huge chunk of my energy and my personality.

It makes me furious that it’s so hard to get. I’m not sure what state my mental health would be in if I hadn’t been able to get it. I was definitely looking at having to cut hours in work to be able to cope, and that would have had a big financial impact on me.

And so many people I speak to - including women - are confused about why testosterone would help, there’s so much misunderstanding about hormones, they don’t know that women have testosterone and men have oestrogen. My aunt asked me whether it would reverse the menopause and I was just like er what… How would that even work?

charlytune,
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Sure I’ll have a go!

Edit - hope that’s better?

charlytune,
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Sorted

charlytune,
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So most contraception is a combo of oestrogen and progesterone (but there’s also oestrogen only and progesterone only). Oestrogen is also the main hormone used to alleviate the symptoms of menopause, but you have to have progesterone on top of that to protect you from womb cancer (if you still have a womb).

Interestingly I struggled all my adult life trying to find hormonal contraception that didn’t make my emotions out of control and spiral into destructive depression, and I gave up in the end. It happened again on my first go on HRT. After getting some professional advice I discovered that that’s a known effect of the type of progesterone used in the most widely prescribed (ie cheapest) contraception and HRT. As soon as I was switched onto the micronised bio-identical progesterone it was like a dream, I felt normal. Not one doctor in all those years of trying different forms of contraception mentioned it could be the progesterone - maybe they didn’t know? There definitely seems to be a scary lack of understanding about hormones that’s for sure.

Testosterone in the UK isn’t widely prescribed, on the NHS you can only get it through a specialist clinic, or you have to go private like I did (it cost me £185 for the appointment, and £90 for the prescription for 6 months).

The hormone doses that are prescribed in HRT are not the same amount as our natural levels have dropped by, really the ‘R’ in HRT is misleading as what is prescribed doesn’t replace what we’ve lost, it just gives a little top up to lessen the symptoms.

charlytune,
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I use Bandcamp instead of Spotify now, because that’s what most of my musician friends use to sell their music and recommend as the best way of supporting artists directly, and some of my favourite current artists are active on there. Yeah I can’t just stream and make playlists of whatever I want, and it’s more for new music than older stuff, but I can scroll through and play the suggested tracks which are far more interesting and diverse than anything Spotify would suggest to me, and then I can buy the stuff I really like. I’m slowly building up enough stuff that way to have an interesting collection on my phone to listen to, and it’s also introduced me to some really cool music that I wouldn’t have heard about from Spotify.

charlytune,
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Military / weapons, police, bailiffs, pyramid scheme grifts, wellness grifts, petrochemicals, mining, financial services (unless it was something like a credit union)

charlytune,
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No I wouldn’t. It would go against my ethics and my politics. Police are police, everywhere. Ultimately they exist to protect the interests of the ruling classes. While the level of violence and corruption and abuse of power might vary from place to place, and there may be good work that they do, there is violence and corruption and abuse of power wherever there are police. I want no part in that, no money is worth it. And I wouldn’t last long in a racist and sexist workplace anyway.

charlytune,
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I mean I’m very flattered that you think that me joining the police would revolutionise it but… No. That’s not how change happens. Otherwise it would have already happened. I’m sorry my decision to turn down a fictional offer of joining the police offends / upsets you.

charlytune,
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I got very addicted to eating dragon fruit pretty much every day when I was in Vietnam. Sadly the ones I can get here in the UK are expensive and insipid, but I’m going to keep on throwing my money away in the vain hope of finding a good one.

charlytune,
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I bought pyjamas for the first time in my adult life last week, until now I just used old t-shirts, leggings, joggers etc. My nightwear drawer was where my outdoor clothes go to die. I’m nearly 50.

charlytune,
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I had a duck egg containing a baby duck in HCM. It was ok. I stopped when it got crunchy.

charlytune,
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Why would they , the UK government was supporting Ukraine, what would a march be protesting against?

charlytune,
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Most adults with ADHD don’t have ‘caretakers’ and have to find their own strategies that meet their own needs. Yours works for you, great, other people have different needs though.

charlytune,
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I love tulsi / holy basil, but there seems to only be a couple of brands that do it here (UK) and they’re usually a bit pricey.

charlytune,
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I trod on a slug recently while wearing socks. The slime didn’t come out in the wash. Bleeuuurrgghhhh.

charlytune,
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This is such a misguided take that I find it hard to believe it’s not deliberate. Why do certain Americans always have to make everything about themselves?? Stop distracting from the fact that the Uyghurs are being wiped out. Normal people who are being rounded up, arrested and never seen again. It’s on a par with the what the Third Reich were doing to Jewish people in the 1930s.

charlytune,
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Ohhh… I’ve only ever used white noise to drown out my annoying brain noise when I’m trying to sleep, I hadn’t thought of using it to focus when I’m awake!

charlytune,
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I’d doesn’t work for sleep for me, but I haven’t tried it for focussing.

charlytune,
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I’m a bit confused by your comment and what you mean by “a tribe here or there has been through it” and that it’s unknown territory? It’s sparsely populated, but according to Wikipedia about 500k people live there, and they’re mostly in urban areas. Surely the lack of data is more down to the political disputes over who governs it? I’d imagine the locals are reluctant to share information with the Moroccan government who they see as the occupiers.

Atheists, is there anything religious that sticks with you to this day?

I am Ganesh, an Indian atheist and I don’t eat beef. It’s not like that I have a religious reason to do that, but after all those years seeing cows as peaceful animals and playing and growing up with them in a village, I doubt if I ever will be able to eat beef. I wasn’t raised very religious, I didn’t go to temple...

charlytune,
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The Osmonds were Mormons weren’t they, which I guess makes this banger a Mormon choon:

youtu.be/iXcj8dFOd1E?feature=shared

charlytune,
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Curly hair and wavy hair.

charlytune,
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I don’t have the knowhow, the time or the brain energy. Already spinning enough plates.

What should I do with my old iPhone XR?

I just upgraded to a 13, but the trade-in was only $80 and I thought I might find something better to do with it than just get $80 back, so I’d love suggestions. Remember, it doesn’t have cellular access anymore, just wifi. Does anyone have any good ideas for what to do with it? A friend suggested a dedicated GPS for my car,...

charlytune,
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You can donate it to a charity or a community group, there are some that refurbs phones for use by people in impoverished communities and countries. I gave an old laptop to a local group helping refugees learn English online.

charlytune,
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He and his wife have also changed the little girl’s name to an American one. That’s a sure indication they intend to disconnect her from her heritage. If they keep her there’s a good chance she’d come to hate them as an adult if / when she finds out with they’ve done. Absolute psychopaths.

charlytune,
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Ha, I sent a very long and furious email to my (Labour) MP when that law got introduced, basically saying excuse me I’m a woman that squirts, what are you as a fellow woman going to do about a law that says that’s a deviant and obscene act? And got completely ignored - usually I got a generic response from her on other issues, on that I just got tumbleweed.

(And before I get any thirsty messages, I’m menopausal and that bitch has dried up. Nothing to see, move on.)

charlytune,
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I only ever see mine from a distance and never get the chance to say thank you. My mum used to give them a tip at Xmas.

charlytune,
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I used to lurk on r/AskRussia, and in the run up to the invasion most of the Russians there (who may or may not be representative of Russians in general, I dunno) were confidently saying that there was no way Russia was going to invade Ukraine, it was unthinkable they’d do that to their brothers and neighbours, and it was just Western propaganda. When the invasion happened they were in complete shock, you could tell that many of them felt completely ashamed of their government, at the lies, and that they’d believed them.

charlytune,
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It just demonstrates how little a lot of the world trusts the American government and it’s agencies.

charlytune,
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At my BF’s cousin’s 18th birthday party, a small family do at the uncle and aunt’s house. The living room was full of people 60+, so as 30 something young people we naturally headed out into the hallway to hang with the cousins and their friends. All these young people barely registered us and just moved aside to let us past, they didn’t even look at us, just carried on talking to each other. We got to the kitchen and looked at each other and just went oh shit, we’re old aren’t we. Grabbed drinks and headed back to the old folk, at least they would speak to us!

charlytune,
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“I didn’t see why everybody in science fiction had to be a honky named Bob or Joe or Bill.”

I fucking miss her, her death was a real loss to the world. I wish we could just keep some people forever.

charlytune,
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YES! I read the book a long time before I saw the film and was so disappointed when I finally got around to watching it. And then I know people who read the book years after seeing the film and didn’t like it, because it was so different to what they were expecting. And that’s such a shame, because the film just doesn’t have the same depth to it.

charlytune,
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Highpurrbolley.

I pronounced it hyper-bowl in my head for a loooong time until I had to say it out loud one time and got laughed at.

charlytune,
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Same!

charlytune,
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Brit here, I only realised a couple of years ago that the Arkansaw I heard mentioned in American TV and movies was actually the Arkansas I could see on maps. I think it was something said on Reddit, probably a thread similar to this, that was the revelation. And when I tell other Brits they’re invariably similarly clueless, and quite gobsmacked. I’m not sure if anyone I’ve mentioned it too has said “oh yeah I knew that”.

charlytune,
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I’m sorry about your friend, and I’m glad you’re finding a way to deal with the grief and the shock. It never goes away, but you learn to manage it, and you learn how to live with it, and that makes it easier eventually. You’ll navigate your way through this, I’m sure.

charlytune,
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I met someone who worked as a tour guide at a site that Time Team did an episode on. They told me a couple of interesting things about behind the scenes stuff, it might spoil it for you if I spill though.

charlytune,
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Honestly I get where you’re coming from with the gentle parenting approach, and I think some people use it as an excuse to not engage with crappy behaviour. But I think kids whining and behaving a bit crappy is normal, and they’re often expressing complex feelings that they haven’t learned to understand and manage, and that they don’t know how to explain. Maybe kids that learn to suppress that behaviour at a young age, through fear of punishment, or being shunned and isolated (eg ‘go to your room’) may go on to be adults who supress their feelings and don’t express and advocate for their needs and. I guess we’ll see won’t we, as this generation of kids gets older. And some other parenting style will be the ‘correct’ one by the time they have kids. My niece is going through a really annoying whiney and whingey phase and it makes her very exhausting to be around at the moment, so I do sympathise with where you’re coming from!

charlytune,
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Ok so there was a dig being carried out already before Time Team visited, and they’d made a few interesting finds. Time Team asked them to put one of them back in the ground, and cover it up, and then they would film one of the Time Team guys ‘finding’ it. The site crew absolutely refused to fake something and for a TV presenter to take the credit for the find of one of their people (who may well have been a volunteer, I don’t remember, but difs tend to rely on volunteers for a lot of work), and they were all pretty disillusioned with the show after that. Also, apparently Tony Robinson was a twat, really rude and shitty to everyone, which is a real shame, because I loved him in Maid Marion and Blackadder when I was younger.

This was the site, in case you’re interested: …org.uk/…/ten-fascinating-facts-about-liverpools-…

charlytune,
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Just about kept my shit together. It’s been a really shitty week.

charlytune,
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Thank you, your comment gave me a lovely warm feeling in my stomach. I’ll get through this.

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