I am sorry you are struggling with this. There’s nothing wrong with keeping yourself safe by not coming out, but that doesn’t do anything for the feeling of being trapped.
I’m not you, but i hope that you’re able to find some space where you are able to be yourself, perhaps a friend group or an online support group?
Being alone and feeling abandoned by a partner is such a terrible feeling. Perhaps, since it all feels spiralling anyway, asking him bluntly for clarification, if you think he’s gone it’ll at least give you answers maybe?
There’s not a magical set of words that will work for you, so throw away anything i have said that doesn’t work. Most of all i wanted you to know people saw you and care you are in pain, even if they are just text on a screen. 💙
yup! I also know there are some in 'safe' social groups who make the threats because they, as a member of that group, never (or so rarely they aren't ACTUALLY worried) get attacked. But the groups they use death threats against DO experience such violence, (a fact that the free speech absolutist will argue against, while not even listening to the facts of the matter) and at the very least, I know I second guess the effort of engaging anyone who is willing to threaten to hurt me specifically. Or a question the value of talking with someone like that.
So that is why free speech absolutists LIKE being allowed to make death threats: those who experience violence disengage (or leave) and no one arguing makes them feel in the right. "No one is disagreeing, it means I am correct! It has nothing to do with the shotgun I put in the face of anyone who talks to me!"
“We do not condone death threats and will continue to remove accounts when we believe their posts represent targeted harassment or a credible threat of violence. But not all heated language crosses the line into a death threat,” Graber said in a weekend thread. “Wisely or not, many people use violent imagery when they’re arguing or venting. We debated whether a “death threat” needs to be specific and direct in order to cause harm, and what it would mean for people’s ability to engage in heated discussions on Bluesky if we prohibited this kind of speech.”
Well I was curious about Bluesky (they're still on a waitlist when I check so even their beta has bad actors lol) but a space that hems and haws about death threats? You can be the rudest son of a bitch and never threaten harm! This reminds me of that stupid decision by the Supreme Court that "oh well they didn't REALLY intend to kill you". If someone threatens me, it becomes my job to decide if it was real or not? Wtf?
Goddamn free speech absolutism has taken some crazy pills. I remember 'fighting words' concept, a death threat used to be understood as almost enough to warrant self-defense preemptively. Now everyone does it and "don't really mean it". 🙄
Im still frustrated at the lie and gaslighting that bathrooms were ever some strictly gendered space. Growing up, women going into the mens room happened a lot at sport events. Fathers would take their kids into the lady's when the men's didn't have a changing table.
Most people want to do what they need to do an get out.
And if someone's gonna assault you, the swing door with a stick figure with a dress aint gonna stop them.
Could be hot flashes? I know some ladies who felt hotter at a coller temperature after hrt. Like they used to hang out in 90 degree weather and now only can tolerate low 80s. It's only an issue cause they live in a hot place.
Other than checking with an endo it could just be your new normal with a different hormone profile.
Nonbinary feminine is a label people use, I don't see why you can't for a while and see how it fits? Doesn't have to mean anything more to you than "cis woman isnt fitting me right now, i feel like a nonbinary woman", or it doesn't have to lead to you changing pronouns.
I have one friend who's identity is "i want you to know i am not a woman but i am definitely explicitly not he/him" and they use she/her and they/them right now.
I shave my head because it's comfortable. It has nothing to do with any gender presentation, but people will almost always assume masculine on some end. Do you think being misgendered would upset you? If someone sees how you want to present and calls you an identity that isnt you, how would that make you feel?
Not to discourage you! Just stuff to think about! I find a lot of things can be boiled down in society to masculine vs feminine, but it feels like they have to enforce those boundaries so firmly because they're really socially constructed (fashion and presentation especially!) And really a lot of people feel the same about some fabrics, textures, designs, etc.
Maybe it's just because i play with chatbots for fun, but the posts i was seeing already felt like fake engagement. As much as i was addicted, the content was so empty it wasn't even able to hold me doom scrolling.
There's something special about a real space with real people and reddit, especially the largest spaces, havent been that in a while. Half of amitheasshole is copied replies on fake stories. 😩
I suffer from not enjoying activies after i do them for a while too. Probably not the sams thing, but i have a small rotation of things i change between.
My goal is my own entertainment tho, I don't know if you want entertainment or like, a hobby that produces something. If you feel pressured to be productive that's gonna make any hobby you arent instantly good at feel really depressing. :(
But looking back i wish i had learned some music. If you're really interested, you could study what's called "music theory" to then see if you want to go further. I found one guy who was talking about music theory on YouTube and it made me want to learn more this is his playlist of songs that are based on classical music!
I just started back up one that I rarely see talked about: Ever Oasis. Does it do everything perfect? No, but it's a cute little handheld game where I get to help an adorable water spirit save adorable seedlings and owl people. There's characters to befriend and take on quests too! It offers a lot, but cause it was on the 3ds I don't think too many people have played it.
Outside of that, Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life is my nostalgia favorite so I am hopeful about the remake.
Youtube shorts being visually hard to tell the difference but being in my sub lists AND breaking the queuing is obnoxious. I have been cutting myself off from google products as much as I can, they are just so shitty now.
“I’m currently unsupervised. I know, it freaks me out too, but the possibilities are endless,” read another.
Some of the messages suggested the target, a singer-songwriter who’s referred to as C.W. in court documents, was being watched. Others made vague, confusing references to phone lines being tapped. When C.W. blocked Counterman’s account, more messages would appear from new accounts in a pattern that persisted for two frightening years.
So if i called you or mailed you or did any of this in person i would be punished. The idea that we are able to say absolutely anything online is foolish.
In their dissent, they grapple with the potential consequences of this ruling and the impact it may have on victims of harassment and stalking, as well as efforts to impose restraining orders on other people who make violent threats.
“Imagine someone who threatens to bomb an airport. The speaker might well end up barred from the location in question—for good reason,” Justice Barrett writes. “Yet after today, such orders cannot be obtained without proof—not necessarily easy to secure—that the person who issued the threat anticipated that it would elicit fear.”
I want to know how saying you are going to do something isnt even "half credit" towards it.
What i think? I think if someone sends someone something threatening and they mean it or not, the person has a right to their lives to say stop. After that you should be charged for forcing yourself without consent into someone's lives. I don't know why that's a crazy opinion?
Verbal threats of violence used to be punishable. I don't see a difference in what this man did and harassing someone and we punish that.
There is zero part of me that is worried punishing death threats online is some how a societal ill. In fact i argue that not enough people are held to the social and civil contract we all make with each other online and they need to be reminded they are interacting with humans.
Also, if this man really cannot understand how what he said was harmful, i think he especially needs to be thrown away as a human being. What worth is someone who harasses a stranger for two years to our global community?