@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

azureeight

@[email protected]

On hiatus if not gone from beehaw. Beehaw was good in theory, but they are similar to the east coast liberals mlk jr wrote about. Centists for religion aint my cup of tea, considering all the harm it has and continues to cause. It doesn’t make a queer feel safe at all.

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azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

I mean. They’re doubling down on stupid i think it’s fair to call them out on it. In order to follow most organized religion, you are taught to kill critical thinking and have faith. It’s literally a part of the whole thing

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

I think 75% of the population literally try not to have critical thinking in one major aspect of their life that literally says don’t think, have faith.

It’s a part of religion to not think, to follow and obey. It’s sweet you want to defend them in other avenues, but cognitive dissonance is also causing a lot of sorrow and pain while religious people on majority are standing back and following their leaders, even the progressive ones, aren’t willing to progress fast enough. They’re still following something that’s usually mostly historically been oppressive and regressive to maintain power over the masses.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

It’s about one small group. And one that couldn’t stop being taken over by assholes and has a schism because the more conversative left.

Among those who say they were raised exclusively by Protestants, roughly eight-in-ten now identify with Protestantism, including 80% of those raised by two Protestant parents and 75% of those raised by a single parent who was Protestant. Most who were raised exclusively by Protestants but who no longer identify as such are now religious “nones,” with smaller numbers now identifying with Catholicism or other religions.

I have done a lot of research and could have a nuanced discussion. I don’t think claiming people who have negative options are “2010 Atheists” is the bit of a bigot in this case. I think religion has enough people carrying water who were just raised in it and don’t think critically.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

You’re a mod and being this way publicly? Personally attacking?

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

They’re responding to the mods energy.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

You don’t see an issue with a MOD starting with

Can we please move beyond this 2010 New Atheism view

That’s really not something a mod should say and pretty much dismissing an opinion without even engaging it. I guess atheists are just ok to dismiss and deny an opinion?

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

They could argue their point and were not attacking anyone specific. The mod continued to be upset and eventually attacked the poster specifically, when the posted stayed hypothetical.

If you don’t know how dismissive of atheists that saying is, how it’s used to shut down their opinion, which they were sharing without attacking someonee specifically, likely because they became atheists after a lot of personal work, is exactly why atheists get shut out of a conversation.

Is their opinion not valid? Have they attacked anyone or taken any rights, or just expressed an opinion they offered to discuss and never attcked anyone?

Literally they pointed out the flaws in the mods argument and the mod got mad. Only one group was being aggressive, one group made a mildly flippant joke and was willing to discuss the nuance. One became sarcastic and rude.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

I am disengaged, i have a life and the site was down.

If you don’t see the dog whistles that started because teens leaving religion on the internet were trying to explore themselves and break from what most people only follow because they were raised in it that the internet dismissed because of memes more than actual atheists causing issues.

Then beehaw is as bad as i was suspecting about trying too hard to appeal to everyone. You clearly wanted your mods words to be taken with respect and NOT users. If YOU are an admin and cannot see how your staff started issues and someone simply stepped in and stood firm, then you don’t allow people to stand up for themselves and as a queer atheist i get it, it’s not as popular, but you wouldn’t let any other minority group be treated this way and your administration needs to think about that.

Beehaw is good in theory but when you do not allow anyone to discuss things and come after the group who was under attack, your team needs more experience. I wish you all well and maybe beehaw will mature, but right now it’s centist leaning new age more than anything based on reality.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

The mods keep saying they’re staying to protect their users, but they should be off boarding to another site if they really care. They have already lost the power to take care of their community, they’re already bending to reddit.

If you keep your group on reddit you just want mod powers on a popular site, you aren’t protecting anyone. I just can’t accept “i care enough to stay and keep my power to obey reddit admins” is so weaksauce.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

So women are more disposable and companies cut “soft skills” first. Great, working with tech companies is already full of people with absolutely no social intelligence, let’s cut the “fluff” departments (yet what hires on the tech spots? Insurance and the other underpinnings of the compensation packages), and then people show up with “wElL iTs NoT wOmEn iN TeCh”.

It’s the same energy as when an article gets posted about racial equality. So many ways to talk around a big societal problem.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

The wikipedia is a pretty good write up. but generally you see it in European or multicultural spaces more than American centered, though it has entered the discussions, most no one knows what it means when they are using it.

Gaming often fetishises the new but many great things exist in the past, so let's strap into our time machines and talk about our favourite games released before say 2010?

Just as with books, movies, plays etc the past holds a treasure trove of amazing experiences. Unless you have a lot more free time than I do it’s unlikely you’ve played anywhere near the majority of the classics. Let’s get out those pink sunnies and compare notes on some of our favourite releases....

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Had a partner want to practice hacking a 3ds before they closed the shop so I can play PS1 games. The first one I put on that mofo is Azure Dreams, my first and probably favorite dungeon crawler roguelike with a city builder. Also Breath of Fire IV is one of my absolute favorite games ever.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

I definitely think they are loads of fun but they both have amazing soundtracks, too! Breath of Fire IV still brings me to tears!

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

I am sorry you are struggling with this. There’s nothing wrong with keeping yourself safe by not coming out, but that doesn’t do anything for the feeling of being trapped.

I’m not you, but i hope that you’re able to find some space where you are able to be yourself, perhaps a friend group or an online support group?

Being alone and feeling abandoned by a partner is such a terrible feeling. Perhaps, since it all feels spiralling anyway, asking him bluntly for clarification, if you think he’s gone it’ll at least give you answers maybe?

There’s not a magical set of words that will work for you, so throw away anything i have said that doesn’t work. Most of all i wanted you to know people saw you and care you are in pain, even if they are just text on a screen. 💙

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

That’s really hard, especially when it sounds like he was a lot of your life focus. I would be as worried as you, it sounds like you arent able to get any answers at the moment.

To protect yourself, could he have ghosted you in this way to make it easier on himself? Had he ever been conflict avoidant? It’s shitty, but i hear a lot of younger people, without respect to the pain they are causing, flaking out in such a manner.

It may be important that you see if you can find some friends, someone to support you but who you’re not so dependent on. It’s a horrible feeling to have our stability dependent on someone else when sadly humans can be such flawed and weak creatures.

It’s so important you find something inside yourself for you. I have been depressed a long time, (not nearly been put in the situation you have been with a partner) and for me i settled on a weird philosophy that i didn’t choose my birth, but (i am not religious or spiritual) if i go too soon, ill never have a chance to know or experience anything when i die. For me ive settled on leaving when it happens, and trying to get through each day one day at a time.

It’s unlikely that’ll work for you, too, cause it’s such a personal thing to figure out. Im guessing your parents wouldn’t get you a therapist just for you to talk shit out?

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

It doesn’t sound like he returns your adoration and love with respect and care like he should. Age gap, is he older? That sucks that he was able to wrap himself in you and then has shown you now twice he doesn’t care enough to be straight with you.

Im sorry a man like that stole your heart. I hope you’ll be able to see if he can’t talk to you straight, what kind of partner is he really? A man like that isnt dependable enough to build a life with.

It sounds more like you don’t want to be alone than that he has much good to offer you. I know your parents dont show love dependability ao you think everyone is like that, that it’s to be expected and what you deserve. But real people who love you don’t run and hide from bad feelings, they stand by your side when things get hard.

He doesn’t sound like he was every building a life with you, just liked your affection. And don’t feel the need to return it. Try not to let someone like that continue using you. The pain you feel is compounded because you know this isnt how loving people treat one another.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

I am going to not be able to find obscure gifs i remember from the 2000’s 😩

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

I mean, if you don’t convey emotions to friend via gifs I don’t know what to tell ya!

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

“We do not condone death threats and will continue to remove accounts when we believe their posts represent targeted harassment or a credible threat of violence. But not all heated language crosses the line into a death threat,” Graber said in a weekend thread. “Wisely or not, many people use violent imagery when they’re arguing or venting. We debated whether a “death threat” needs to be specific and direct in order to cause harm, and what it would mean for people’s ability to engage in heated discussions on Bluesky if we prohibited this kind of speech.”

Well I was curious about Bluesky (they're still on a waitlist when I check so even their beta has bad actors lol) but a space that hems and haws about death threats? You can be the rudest son of a bitch and never threaten harm! This reminds me of that stupid decision by the Supreme Court that "oh well they didn't REALLY intend to kill you". If someone threatens me, it becomes my job to decide if it was real or not? Wtf?

Goddamn free speech absolutism has taken some crazy pills. I remember 'fighting words' concept, a death threat used to be understood as almost enough to warrant self-defense preemptively. Now everyone does it and "don't really mean it". 🙄

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

yup! I also know there are some in 'safe' social groups who make the threats because they, as a member of that group, never (or so rarely they aren't ACTUALLY worried) get attacked. But the groups they use death threats against DO experience such violence, (a fact that the free speech absolutist will argue against, while not even listening to the facts of the matter) and at the very least, I know I second guess the effort of engaging anyone who is willing to threaten to hurt me specifically. Or a question the value of talking with someone like that.

So that is why free speech absolutists LIKE being allowed to make death threats: those who experience violence disengage (or leave) and no one arguing makes them feel in the right. "No one is disagreeing, it means I am correct! It has nothing to do with the shotgun I put in the face of anyone who talks to me!"

It is horrifying.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Im still frustrated at the lie and gaslighting that bathrooms were ever some strictly gendered space. Growing up, women going into the mens room happened a lot at sport events. Fathers would take their kids into the lady's when the men's didn't have a changing table.

Most people want to do what they need to do an get out.

And if someone's gonna assault you, the swing door with a stick figure with a dress aint gonna stop them.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Could be hot flashes? I know some ladies who felt hotter at a coller temperature after hrt. Like they used to hang out in 90 degree weather and now only can tolerate low 80s. It's only an issue cause they live in a hot place.

Other than checking with an endo it could just be your new normal with a different hormone profile.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Nonbinary feminine is a label people use, I don't see why you can't for a while and see how it fits? Doesn't have to mean anything more to you than "cis woman isnt fitting me right now, i feel like a nonbinary woman", or it doesn't have to lead to you changing pronouns.

I have one friend who's identity is "i want you to know i am not a woman but i am definitely explicitly not he/him" and they use she/her and they/them right now.

I shave my head because it's comfortable. It has nothing to do with any gender presentation, but people will almost always assume masculine on some end. Do you think being misgendered would upset you? If someone sees how you want to present and calls you an identity that isnt you, how would that make you feel?

Not to discourage you! Just stuff to think about! I find a lot of things can be boiled down in society to masculine vs feminine, but it feels like they have to enforce those boundaries so firmly because they're really socially constructed (fashion and presentation especially!) And really a lot of people feel the same about some fabrics, textures, designs, etc.

Good luck finding your happiness 😊

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Ice cream and special brownies.

Maybe it's just because i play with chatbots for fun, but the posts i was seeing already felt like fake engagement. As much as i was addicted, the content was so empty it wasn't even able to hold me doom scrolling.

There's something special about a real space with real people and reddit, especially the largest spaces, havent been that in a while. Half of amitheasshole is copied replies on fake stories. 😩

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

I suffer from not enjoying activies after i do them for a while too. Probably not the sams thing, but i have a small rotation of things i change between.

My goal is my own entertainment tho, I don't know if you want entertainment or like, a hobby that produces something. If you feel pressured to be productive that's gonna make any hobby you arent instantly good at feel really depressing. :(

But looking back i wish i had learned some music. If you're really interested, you could study what's called "music theory" to then see if you want to go further. I found one guy who was talking about music theory on YouTube and it made me want to learn more this is his playlist of songs that are based on classical music!

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Youtube shorts being visually hard to tell the difference but being in my sub lists AND breaking the queuing is obnoxious. I have been cutting myself off from google products as much as I can, they are just so shitty now.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

I just started back up one that I rarely see talked about: Ever Oasis. Does it do everything perfect? No, but it's a cute little handheld game where I get to help an adorable water spirit save adorable seedlings and owl people. There's characters to befriend and take on quests too! It offers a lot, but cause it was on the 3ds I don't think too many people have played it.

Outside of that, Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life is my nostalgia favorite so I am hopeful about the remake.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

There are dozens of us dozens!

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

It is really sweet! It's a simple story about trying to save basically the world!

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

So what this says is basically you can say anything to anyone, as long as you don't intend to see them physically? We have no right to tell someone to stop contacting us, everyone has a right to access people, no matter how abusive, if they don't really mean to do it (based on self reporting of the stalker to their intentions, NOT off of any level of what they said).

I bet i would have officers at my door if everyone in the supreme court's families got these sorts of messages from me repeatedly, from throw away accounts and bots, even if i had no intention of doing more than that.

Harassment just isn't a thing anymore for normal people i guess. Everyone celebrating the other hand down the SC did today missed the horrifying one.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

But this isn't a kid sending 50 messages.

“I’m currently unsupervised. I know, it freaks me out too, but the possibilities are endless,” read another.

Some of the messages suggested the target, a singer-songwriter who’s referred to as C.W. in court documents, was being watched. Others made vague, confusing references to phone lines being tapped. When C.W. blocked Counterman’s account, more messages would appear from new accounts in a pattern that persisted for two frightening years.

So if i called you or mailed you or did any of this in person i would be punished. The idea that we are able to say absolutely anything online is foolish.

In their dissent, they grapple with the potential consequences of this ruling and the impact it may have on victims of harassment and stalking, as well as efforts to impose restraining orders on other people who make violent threats.

“Imagine someone who threatens to bomb an airport. The speaker might well end up barred from the location in question—for good reason,” Justice Barrett writes. “Yet after today, such orders cannot be obtained without proof—not necessarily easy to secure—that the person who issued the threat anticipated that it would elicit fear.”

I want to know how saying you are going to do something isnt even "half credit" towards it.

What i think? I think if someone sends someone something threatening and they mean it or not, the person has a right to their lives to say stop. After that you should be charged for forcing yourself without consent into someone's lives. I don't know why that's a crazy opinion?

Verbal threats of violence used to be punishable. I don't see a difference in what this man did and harassing someone and we punish that.

There is zero part of me that is worried punishing death threats online is some how a societal ill. In fact i argue that not enough people are held to the social and civil contract we all make with each other online and they need to be reminded they are interacting with humans.

Also, if this man really cannot understand how what he said was harmful, i think he especially needs to be thrown away as a human being. What worth is someone who harasses a stranger for two years to our global community?

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Right? Be the change you want to see in the world OP!

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Maybe im so normie i don't get it, but isnt it about the same personal advice we would have given for any platform?

Im sorry I'm from the forum days when you always knew you were responsible for how safe you are. I'm laughing because people can't get their data deleted from corporate companies either, is it really still news anything you post is public and will probably not be removable?

I appreciate the care, i do, but on some level some of this is trying to bubble people who aren't being responsible. If admins really wanted to protect people from themselves, then we'd remove most personally identifiable things interesting and unique about posts.

I'd also argue stalking has more to do with the mental health issues of the stalker than the victim being to blame for how they interacted with the world. We don't tell a student not to participate in lectures because someone may latch onto something they said and become infatuated. We punish stalkers instead.

Idk this is a ramble. I see so many things so often that used to be personal responsibility on online safety, that instead of teaching the skills we make tools. And i feel like not teaching good personal safety and protection is goong to doom any project ultimately.

You can't fix ignorance without education.

How do you emotionally process potentially misogynistic targeting?

So I had a situation at work where the project lead refused to communicate with me, and instead went to my boss about everything. I thought it was me, but my (male) boss suggested it might be misogyny. (My work is male dominated. I'm the only female lead of my role in the company.)...

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

I have felt how you felt. Things actually, with some misogynists, have gotten worse recently in my experience. What that means now there is no uncomfortable peace with these people, now they either require me completely folding or holding my chin to get (metaphorically) punched. I have chosen the later, my pride won't let me be walked over as much anymore. For good and bad.

I have learned to not try and placate. If I am doing that, why stand and have opinions at all? If I just let them talk me into a position that actually isn't my position or softening my position, was I really standing at all?

I also have started trying to be actually gruffer. More in charge and direct the situation. A lot of people don't know how to handle the confidence. For the misogynists against me? I have cut them off (boundaries for acquaintances who are jackoffs) and made sure to cya (cover my ass) like get email or text or something with their lack of engaging, then I have "they let petty opinions get between being professional" which usually businesses/HR will accept and put them in the wrong if all they did before was be disagreeable.

But really, try to drop the self-deprecation if you can. We pick it up to be cute as teens, but it really makes us fail in the workforce and it actually can get really old to be around for everyone. If anything, it makes them think they're right about you (whatever the weird opinion is). If you are a thoughtful person and you have formed your opinions with care, why should you back down at all? Heck, who are they to step to you? Why do THEY have the right to be jackasses just cause they don't like someone? You're the adult trying to do your job. They are being unprofessional!

It sucks your boss let that person undermine you. If you can, I would personally ask my boss to direct everything to me, and make the person either act out and get reprimanded or they get on board.

I wish you luck. I don't get along with as many people anymore, sometimes it sucks, but those who rise above the rest are more worth it.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

On Wednesday, regional airline Piedmont was fined $15,625 (£12,285) by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) for the death of a ground crew worker six-months earlier in a similar incident in Alabama.

So im confused. Not the same airlines nor airport between the deaths, but the accidents are so rare they mentioned both? yet delta says it is unrelated to safety procedures, but again this happens rarely enough to bring up it happened twice recently?

Are people overworked and falling asleep? Last i heard they're understaffed anyway?

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Officials have not yet named the employee of Unifi Aviation, which Delta Air Lines contracts for ground crew operations,

"From our initial investigation, this incident was unrelated to Unifi's operational processes, safety procedures and policies," the company said.

From the posted article, they already claim no safety issue, but unknown cause.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Yeah that's what i have heard. Years ago i was told to apply, but i physically cannot do that kind of work. I wouldn't be shocked they had safety procedures that an overworked and tired person might not be able to always follow. I rarely fly but the staff gets usually treated like servants. :(

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

This doesn't surprise me. I'm always so nervous, every driver seems so distracted. I hear everyone wants to keep their autonomy to drive, (this is in theory if autonomous driving was safe or the roads had rails for example) but they also want to look at their phones and do other shit. 😩

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

It feels dishonest to say it isn't drivers. You could see them coming from the sides more if you pay more attention?

Is driving with a blind spot NOT something we are taught to check and eliminate and are the fault of the driver to chose that vehicle/not adjusting or getting mirrors, not driving slower, etc?

I think we're lying to ourselves if we don't think people could do better.

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

You discount that we have a horrible and state-by-state driving rules and training? We do not have skilled people on the road, we have people who have no respect for the machine they are in. Do you not think the government could regulate that, too?

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Oh wow. One event! Definitely clearly we don't have a road full of people who were teens who halfassed their license in big vehicles they likely should have more license to handle.

But you know. We currently dont have a federal standards for regular class C i am sure we can definitely just get smaller cars made, that'll fix underqualified drivers.

You tell me a story of a driver who doesn't pay attention to the number of people who enter and leave the walkways and the car is the issue?

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

What helped for me is I see labels as explaining to people outside my body in the simplest terms if we COULD be compatible in theory.

So, for example, I identify as pansexual. If someone asks me why, it's because I have had multiple partners change gender presentation and it did not change our relationship. And i feel that's helpful to know if someone is dating me.

If we get in the weeds, I can't tell you what i am sexually attracted to in the abstract. I don't have internal motivation that way. I grow to want to be sexual with a specific person over time, so sometimes I have even used demi and pan.

But as for me and inside, i just know i feel sexual when i do toward who i do. I know I have changed over the years too (at one point I would have said I was straight, can you imagine?) And sexually and gender are spectrums anyway.

I hope this search isnt causing you too much destress. Labels are supposed to be comfortable if we take them on. You don't HAVE to label anything at all. I usually just go by queer because it's shorter. I hope you feel comfortable with yourself and soon don't feel like you have to prove anything to anyone. 💙

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Depite all the black mirror watchers here not reading or looking into it, no furby has connected to the internet yet?

https://shop.hasbro.com/product/furby-purple-plush-interactive-toys-for-6-year-old-girls-and-boys-and-up/9D100875-7588-48AF-8D16-74ACFF4A437B

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BLR5RGPY

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

Technically Furby Connects is a subcategory of Furby, and I was talking about the main line, (and "Connect" is in the name, so that is still not trying to sneak it past consumers) but I could see the argument it is a little pedantic.

But saying THIS model has a camera and is connected to the internet explicitly goes against most of the advertising and most everyone is just wanting to act panicked about a basic toy. 😑

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

I want the same toys but less loud and needy. 😭I loved Furby and tamagotchi too, but I wanted them to bring some of the stuff from those digimon pets they had way back in the 90s. Let me make tamagotchis fight!

azureeight,
@azureeight@beehaw.org avatar

The people who accept these trade-offs are not normal, and they’re in charge

so this is just inflammatory?

Seriously, I have been trying and slowly learning as Linux too has been developed to be more user friendly, am I "failing"?

This is a really poor take by someone it feels like spent more time on this post and the complaints than trying at all to adapt to the new place.

Like this bit:

So what does Mastodon bring to the table in addition to Twitter, that might justify someone deciding to take the plunge and move to it? There are a few unique things about the platform, but they generally fall into the broad category of “things users don’t care about”. Chief among these is decentralisation.

You wat? I want a place to talk to people, REAL PEOPLE, about topics (and that can be searched using hashtags, which you can).

The point of Mastodon is it isn't Twitter but offers a lot of the socializing of twitter! What?!

They really let just anyone post anything.

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