There was a kid, maybe 14 or 15 who complained about his mum and sister in r/parentsarefuckingstupid or a similar sub. He didn’t mention being autistic in the post but it was pretty clear - it was his behaviour and response which was inappropriate, not his mum’s. Having grown up with an autistic brother his reaction was very familiar to me. I tried to give him some tips to help him avoid conflict and smooth the situation over - “apologise even if you don’t mean it right now, it’s the easiest way of getting your game back tonight. In future don’t raise your voice to your sister even if she’s shouting. Remove yourself to your bedroom to calm down. Ask to speak to your mum alone to explain your side of the argument. Etc” pretty benign advice that wasn’t judgemental or insulting in anyway. I put a decent amount of time into writing my response in a way that was constructive and helpful from his perspective. I felt pretty good about myself afterwards, like I’d done my good deed for the day.
The kid went absolutely psycho. He was writing comments and immediately deleting them, then saying I was sending him extremely inappropriate sexual messages. He was summoning all the bots he could think of, like the n-word bot to accuse me of racism (I’ve never ever used the n-word). It was so out of left field I was stunned. A couple of people stuck up for me in the comments but it left me really shaken. Who the fuck accuses someone of being a racist pedophile out of nowhere? That boy needs help and it has nothing to do with his autism.
A teenager on his first flight alone was pulled into security and had his trip home canceled after gate agents figure out he was skiplagging, or booking a flight with the layover as the actual intended destination. …
That’s a really good point and makes a lot of sense. Tbf if I were putting my child on a flight unaccompanied, I wouldn’t want to risk them having to deal with the extra stress of not having the correct ticket though. It’s one thing to take the risk yourself when no one is walking you through the airport, but surely the parents knew the kid wouldn’t be able to to go awol mid journey?
I’d forgotten that most Americans don’t have passports. But I’m certain many under 16s fly across the US unaccompanied every year - shared custody agreements must make it conditional in at least a few thousand cases. Is there’s not a standard photo ID card available in the US aside from a passport or drivers license?
They’re not mandatory here either, but you do need a form of photo ID to take domestic flights, vote and buy age-restricted products. If you don’t have a passport or drivers license, or don’t want to carry them around, it’s very easy to obtain a PASS card (Proof of Age Standards Scheme). They’re accepted as an official form of ID and are only £15. I had an early version when I was in my teens so I could get child rates on transport, cinema tickets etc. I think they’re a brilliant idea.
I suspect there would be backlash here if they were made mandatory, but not because anyone considers them the mark of the beast. Just your usual privacy concerns.
Thank you for that! We’re not allowed to have any furniture on our private balcony because it’s technically a fire escape (on the first floor). If I can’t get a few flowerpots past Mavis the Snitch, I don’t think I have much hope for this set up!
I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them....
I miss those kind of places i sometimes went on Reddit, but since i decided to not go back, i wanted to know if there are already some alternatives in here.
I don’t agree. Women have been choosing the term “actor” instead of “actress” to describe themselves since the 1970s and 1980s as a direct result of the women’s movement and an awareness of gender bias in language. The screen actors guild also uses “actor” for both men and women, or “female actor” when marking a distinction between the two sexes. Only the academy awards still uses “actress”. The Los Angeles times says the word actress is dying out of conversation… there are so many articles about it. “Actor” is not misgendering her.
I know a lot of lurkers like me out there are browsing, but there’s quite a bit of engagement capitol on the federated instances. If you find an interesting topic and the right community, you get a lot of feedback. There’s not much hate being thrown out there either.
I set it up: lemmy.world/c/downtherabbithole I’m more than happy for anyone to mod with me. @clueless_stoner if it becomes active and more than I can manage, can I give you a shout?
It’s a Thai ☺️ far superior imo - the variegation is stable unlike in VMs which can revert. Every leaf will look different but it will always have variegated bits. You see the bottom left? That’s what they mean by “yellow”. It’s really just a little cream/off white. VMs tend not to have so much marbling, and all the variegated bits are white. There’s no variegation within the white iykwim? I believe Thais are still more expensive than VMs so you might have got a good deal if it was mislabelled! I’ll take some photos of my two tomorrow when it’s daylight if you’d like to see a comparison.
ETA: variegata is just the Latin name for variegated. Variegated just means a plant isn’t one solid colour. Thais are a type of variegated monstera. And the full Latin name of VMs is “monstera deliciosa albo variegata”. “Monstera variegata” is technically correct for both plants, but non-specific.
Disgraced sports doctor Larry Nassar has been stabbed multiple times during an altercation with another inmate at a federal prison in Florida. Nassar is serving decades in prison after admitting sexually assaulting athletes at Michigan State University and at Indianapolis-based USA Gymnastics, including Olympic medalists.
I have to admit my first reaction was “he deserves it” but I immediately felt bad for thinking that. Same as when Trump got Covid. I wouldn’t call it a “perverse inner lust to hurt other people” though. I’m human, human reactions are complicated. Nassar inflicted unspeakable harm to hundreds upon hundreds of girls and young women. He doesn’t deserve to be stabbed, but I definitely have less sympathy for him than I would for someone innocent. I don’t think I’m a monster for feeling like that.
There’s definitely a difference between being unsympathetic about someone’s situation and wishing/celebrating vengeance against them. I’d like to think most most people fall into the unsympathetic group and that thoughtless comments celebrating his attack/antivaxxers getting covid are just that - thoughtless comments, not hateful ones. I’m not at all convinced everyone who makes a flippant comment actively takes pleasure in seeing harm come to others. Perhaps I’m naive.
Yes, but feeling unsympathetic is not the same as feeling indifference. It’s not a neutral nothingness, a lack of interest - it’s actively not having sympathy for someone. Not having sympathy is also different from feeling glad about someone’s misfortune.
I’ve heard the sentiment “I don’t talk about things I don’t care about” before, but it’s not my experience or something I particularly understand. But then I’m chatty and I love hearing different people’s views and expanding my horizons. Tbh I’m not sure how people function socially by only talking about things they care for. What about friends/partners with different interests from you? How will you learn about new things if you aren’t open to discussing things beyond your current interests? And in this instance, talking about the criminal justice system and the human response to bad things happening to bad people, surely everyone should care about that at least a little bit?
I strongly disagree with you about antivaxxers. Their behaviour had a very real impact on the lives of other people. I don’t just mean the physical risk they posed to people around them, but the damage they did by spreading misinformation or straight up lies. Not to mention the strain they put on hospitals and other resources in your country - as well as the political divides that most antivaxxers sought to perpetuate and worsen. Antivaxxers impacted your life even if you didn’t realise it at the time. A complete stranger, someone relatively “insignificant” in the world, dying from a heart attack likely has absolutely no impact on your life at all.
Part of us does take pleasure in hearing about bad things happening to people we feel deserve it. There’s no direct word for it in English, but in German it’s “schadenfreude”, in Greek it’s “epicaricacy”. It’s common across all cultures and occur in all ages. You might find this article interesting, it discusses the possible benefits of experiencing schadenfreude. forbes.com/…/why-taking-pleasure-in-others-misfor…
Khalid Kamau, mayor of the City of South Fulton, was charged with criminal trespassing and first-degree burglary. He was released the same day on $11,000 in surety bonds....
From the New York post so make of it what you will:
The mayor told officers that he was on his way to a dog park when he stopped by the house, claiming it was his dream home and that he had hopes of purchasing it one day, according to the police report.
Kamau admitted to police that he was aware he was trespassing on the homeowner’s property, despite telling FOX 5 Atlanta he believed the home was “abandoned.”
The homeowner, who has not been publicly identified, said he saw the mayor walk up his driveway and approach his lake house when he rushed to get dressed and called police from inside his truck.
The owner of the home then approached Kamau and held him at gunpoint until police arrived, warning the mayor to stay put, the report states.
I read it as he was outside. He walked up the driveway and the homeowner decided to grab his gun, call the police and detain him until they arrived. As a Brit the thought of someone holding me at gunpoint because I walked up their driveway is absolutely terrifying.
Just seeing a gun irl - usually only at the airport - makes me physically recoil. They’re just so rare here. I hate that you’re right about him not being shot being news worthy, a black man trespassing… Does Georgia have stand your ground laws where you can just shoot people if you’re scared of them?
I’ve just remembered “I’m a free speech absolutist, but not when it comes to parodies of me” and “tweeting my publicly available flight logs is sending out assassination coordinates”. What a joke of an individual. Cry more Elmo.
As I sit here happy and secure in my own relationship, I’m inclined to say I’d rather be single than online date. But if I actually found myself single before I’m even 40 I suspect I’d change my mind eventually - that’s a lot of life left to go through alone. And the only way I’d be likely to meet someone would be online, so needs must.
I don’t mean to be rude OP, but your entire contribution to lemmy has been 5 comments and this single post about Reddit. In order to gain traction as a viable alternative to Reddit we need OC and active participation in the comment section. Be the change you want to see and lead by example - start posting interesting non-Reddit related stuff yourself. The more people that do, the better lemmy will be.
I agree. I should have said “make new posts” rather than OC. When I first joined I used my last days of Apollo access to copy over a few of my favourite BORU posts as the community was otherwise empty. I also started c/[email protected] and reposted some of the old classics to get the community started. I don’t think lemmy should just be Reddit on another site, but it’s a good place to start while we build the site up.
I’m so confused. My sister was telling me about how Taylor swift is re recording her old music because scooter Braun owns her old music and she wants to have sole ownership over it....
Her fans are overwhelmingly supportive of her rereleases. Her former manager or whatever he was, made $250m profit from buying and then selling the master rights against her knowledge/wishes. It was a completely legal but shitty move and Taylor made the dispute very public. It wasn’t just her fans who supported her re-recording and rereleasing her albums though, a huge number of artists, music industry people, journalists and even politicians supported her.
Usually when someone is venting at me, I feel like I should respond somehow and say something, but I have no idea what that something could/should be. Is it better to just listen or try to comfort them in some way?
Lots of excellent answers here but I just wanted to add that a therapist explained to me that there are active listeners and passive listeners and people generally fit one category over another. I’m an active listener: you tell me something is wrong and I’m going to try and help you fix it. Even the unfixable. This can be useful in a lot of situations, but it can also be off putting for the “complainer” if they’re just looking to get something off their chest. Some people need to vent more than others. They simply need to say the words and get it out there and they’re not asking for a solution. It can seem insensitive when an active listener tries to interject with fixes.
On the other side are the passive listeners, like my partner. I complain to him and he doesn’t try and help me fix the situation, he simply listens to me rant and gives me a hug, or a “that’s shit”. I used to find it really frustrating when I was younger because I’m kind of type A - I always want to be doing something, anything to feel a bit more in control. I interpreted his passive listening as being uncaring which wasn’t the case.
Understanding what type of listener I was and learning to identify (or ask if in doubt) what the person complaining was looking for, really improved my relationships. I still don’t find passive listening particularly easy but I’m much better at it now. And if I’m complaining to someone and they don’t react the way I wanted/was expecting I’m not at all annoyed with them, I just speak to someone else who I know is more like to be an active listener or whatever it is I need at the time. We can’t be all things to all people, and no one person can meet all of your needs all of the time. And that’s ok.
I could definitely be remembering incorrectly - it was about 13 years ago and a helluva lot has happened since then! As you recall it, what would passive listening be?
Tbh, I’m struggling to imagine when that style of passive listening would be appropriate one to one, outside of something like marriage counselling or an argument when “you’ve had your chance to speak, now let me speak without interrupting”. Nobody wants to vent to a brick wall with no absolutely no feedback at all do they? Or maybe they do and I’m just weird!
I can only assume that people don’t understand why it was brought in on YouTube and TikTok in the first place because so many people do it when it isn’t remotely necessary. If you make your living posting on social media, then fair enough, I understand you need to fall inline with the rules of the platform. But why the hell would you self censor posts you don’t make money from? Utterly ridiculous.
At least 7 million people died as a very conservative estimate. Some estimates go as high as 30 million deaths. It’s the 4th most deadly epidemic/pandemic in the last millennia after the Black Death, Spanish flu, and HIV/AIDS. And that’s with all the lockdowns, social distancing measures and a truly groundbreaking rollout of vaccinations. There’s nothing overblown about that.
Pan(rule)xual (lemmy.world)
deleted_by_author
Teen Passenger Detained In Airport For 'Skiplagging' (jalopnik.com)
A teenager on his first flight alone was pulled into security and had his trip home canceled after gate agents figure out he was skiplagging, or booking a flight with the layover as the actual intended destination. …
Ah yes, being lazy in the sun 😅 (i.imgur.com)
rule (lemmy.ml)
Can I sue a coworker for using information about me they obtained illegally and used in order to create a hostile work environment?
My good friend at work is dating a guy that is also a coworker and at first I thought this guy was pretty cool....
What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?
I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them....
The formal form of Tupac is... (sopuli.xyz)
Lemmy theme song (sh.itjust.works)
Any community available for venting/psychological help?
I miss those kind of places i sometimes went on Reddit, but since i decided to not go back, i wanted to know if there are already some alternatives in here.
Is Saoirse (sear-shuh) a good name for this lil princess? (i.imgur.com)
Eh, it is what it is. (lemm.ee)
Amazon Prime Day lowest price great deal!! unless you count last week...or even yesterday...argh...
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/c0bcfa47-798d-48af-992f-65ee9cdd88fb.png
Trans model and actor is crowned Miss Netherlands and will compete for Miss Universe (www.nbcnews.com)
YSK: If you find an interesting topic/rabbit hole, you can get some real engagement here if you share it. It doesn't get drowned out like elsewhere. (lemmy.world)
I know a lot of lurkers like me out there are browsing, but there’s quite a bit of engagement capitol on the federated instances. If you find an interesting topic and the right community, you get a lot of feedback. There’s not much hate being thrown out there either.
Newly obtained monstera variegata is pushing out some beautiful leaves (i.imgur.com)
Disgraced sports doctor Larry Nassar stabbed multiple times at Florida federal prison, AP sources say (apnews.com)
Disgraced sports doctor Larry Nassar has been stabbed multiple times during an altercation with another inmate at a federal prison in Florida. Nassar is serving decades in prison after admitting sexually assaulting athletes at Michigan State University and at Indianapolis-based USA Gymnastics, including Olympic medalists.
SkincareAddiction - A community for all things skincare! (feddit.nl)
This community is a place where you can discuss anything related to skincare. Product tips, questions and so on!...
Georgia mayor arrested on burglary and trespassing charges (www.nbcnews.com)
Khalid Kamau, mayor of the City of South Fulton, was charged with criminal trespassing and first-degree burglary. He was released the same day on $11,000 in surety bonds....
Gen X Is in Charge. Don’t Make a Big Deal About It. (www.nytimes.com)
Archive link: archive.today/NZo5y
Capitalism works right only when <Elon Musk> does stuff. Name is replacable (i.imgur.com)
Online dating (lemmy.world)
joining the fediverse to bitch about reddit is the same as going on a date, and spending the whole night talking about your ex
I’m tired about reading about reddit here....
How can taylor swift re record songs?
I’m so confused. My sister was telling me about how Taylor swift is re recording her old music because scooter Braun owns her old music and she wants to have sole ownership over it....
When someone is venting, am I supposed to say something?
Usually when someone is venting at me, I feel like I should respond somehow and say something, but I have no idea what that something could/should be. Is it better to just listen or try to comfort them in some way?
Farmer ordered to pay after judge says thumbs-up emoji amounts to contract acceptance (www.theglobeandmail.com)
What are the bad patterns of Reddit to never repeat on Lemmy?
A few examples include s*x questions on askreddit, “this” comments, nolife powermods, jokes being more frequent than actual answers
If only ______ ballots were counted (i.imgur.com)