Yup. I recently read that autistic people read and react just fine with other autistics. It's like there's an emotional barrier 'twixt us and them. I see it as cats and dogs. We're the cats.
The solution to that wall is something i call 'intellectual empathy', but you might have to exist in a dissassociative trauma response to make it work.
TL:DR Hey I spoke to my Dad on the phone , failed miserably at updating some automation & wonder to what extent ASD can drive impulses.
To be honest absolutely nothing of particular note has happened today.
Oh I guess I have managed to keep a diary of sorts for a little over a month ! 🥳
I spoke to my Dad on the phone (I called him - achievement! ) regarding him coming over with my baby sister to complete the ASD Informants questionnaire on Sunday .
I txted my Bestie regarding nothing in particular , just a nice chat , enjoying one another’s company.
I kinda firmed up a friendship with a Peep on here that had gone through rough seas , but which is now in much calmer waters & this cheers me up no end. 😊
I’m trying to re-write some automation to take advantage of the new facilities provided by the new phone & IOS 17, but it’s been hard to concentrate thru the fog of painkillers.
I’m in severe danger of getting excessively nerdy here so I’ll see if I can find another train of thought to follow. . .
I wonder if ASD has an impact on impulse control, I foolishly undertook some minor diy yesterday afternoon because my back felt a bit better & it was only a ‘small job’. In reality it meant lifting 13.5 kg of awkwardness & mounting it on a wall. I achieved this , but paid for it today because I just exacerbated the damage to my back 🙄🤦♂️
I’m casting about for another reason other than simple stupidity. 🙄🤦♂️
Final Thoughts:
Well the last 3 days have been exceptionally unexceptional , I can almost hear peeps yawning as they ponder whether watching paint dry on a waterfall would be a better use of their time.
Note to self, avoid writing diary when drunk & still under the vague influence of codeine, it’s really not a good look !
Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 😊🫶🐿️🖖
@Tim_McTuffty@actuallyautistic
Summertimes uneventful ist really good.
Remember the Chinese curse: "may you live in interesting times." and do enjoy uneventful 😍
One might even say they are very nearly opposites, which makes it difficult for each to recognize when the other is experiencing their version of it. That's why I brought up the (to them) extreme isolation some allistics encountered for an extended time (perhaps two weeks or so if they were quarantined) in 2020. My very allistic, very social, high stimulous sibling was nearly raving like someone who'd been forgotten in a sensory deprivation chamber for weeks despite hours of zoom & phone calls each day + a full work schedule + deliveries and visitors to her window.
@Frances_Larina@theautisticcoach@actuallyautistic
I wouldn’t call that burnout. It looks like suffering from lack of stimulation, which I can relate to, to an extent, being AuADHD. I didn’t experience this during lockdowns, because my overall anxiety levels were so high. The things I was allowed to do & the nature of my home meant that I was able to incorporate sufficient stimulation into my day. (Lots of natural light, an exercise machine, spacious living room, courtyard, nice neighbourhood for daily walks to a pretty park, jigsaws, baking etc) But for some much more social people, (and undiagnosed ADHDers), with small apartments etc, that was horribly challenging.
Straight up: I’m a slut, submissive, service slave. I like being reminded of my place as a faggot. Indeed I revel in it. I am Autistic and have ADHD. All that said, there is this nuance between degradation and still being respected.
So I’m having this increasingly excited conversation. With a man I’d really like to be abused by in the very best ways. And then I get “oh so you’re autistic and retarded?”
Full. Stop. Buzkill. 🛑😡
I instantly blocked him. Right or wrong it took me to a very bad place. I might tolerate it once there was an understanding and trust but not right at the start. Sigh.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 32 Thursday 30/11/23
TL:DR Honestly folks the summary would be longer than the main entry 😆
Another quiet day, chatting with my Bestie this morning then giving her some emotional support this afternoon .
My back is still super painful , but getting better I think.
Did some miscellaneous bits & bobs this afternoon once my bestie had gone to bed nothing too stressful or strenuous .
My autism is becoming more recognisable as time goes on , the way I organise stuff, the attention to detail, the triggers for fairly minor stuff. Happily the codeine high is drastically reducing the impact of triggers so making managing my reaction that bit easier. To be fair there are currently less triggers too.
Final Thoughts:
The codeine is helping me chill , if it’s active component wasn’t cocaine & it wasn’t addictive I’d be tempted to just keep taking it.
If life could continue like this indefinitely that wouldn’t be such a bad thing….
Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 😊🫶🐿️🖖
#actuallyautistic@actuallyautistic
I smoke a lot of weed throughout my day. It's how I cope. It's how I take the edge off. Any one else get high regularly?
@sebwhatever@actuallyautistic yup! I have a medical card (my state doesnt allow recreational yet) for my PTSD symptoms.
weed helps tremendously to soften the internal ruminations socially, to sleep better, and to get creative. i use it recreationally (instead of drinking socially, etc) on occasion, but mostly it's just to deal with life
@flowerpot Hope for a future where everyone can be free from the torment I suffer, is one of the few things that keeps me alive.
Nobody deserves what I have experienced.
Nobody.
The general glorification within the past 24 hours of an induvidual's death, feels sickening.
To validate praise for the death of anyone, is to validate the death of myself, who has been nothing but good intents, while most judgements placed on me paint me as something evil.
I'm going to throw this out there and it may sound a bit controversial, but keep in mind I have nearly 20 years's experience as an entrepreneur. Is there ANYONE who works with #neurodivergent business owners or #ActuallyAutistic business owners who don't just regurgitate the same allistic/neurotypical "marketing advice" that's sold all over the groups and "free offers"? Because I'm not seeing anyone doing anything different from the NTs. @actuallyautistic@actuallyautistics
It's so frustrating that I can just about function "normally" for a year max and then everything goes to shit, regardless of what I do, what's been happening, etc.
@punishmenthurts I attempted conformity for about 4 years. Worst four years of my life. Everything before those four years was me obeying 'adults' and seniors to avoid punishments, (not innately motivated)
Retirement! Much older than myself, I'm amazed we can survive all these years of denying our autonomy.
You give me some hope I might not die young after all.
46 is relatively young if I look at lives lived a hundred years ago, lived often over 100 years.
The nice thing about digital art is it never has to be finished. On this one I got too deep into the image. There's a lot going on you can't see cuz the midtones are too dark...
The non-gendered warrior SHOULD be creating themself (to coin language) out of and battling dark chaos, a bright spark headed toward a dim light... they never know if there's a goal...
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 31 Wednesday 29/11/23
TL:DR Today I proved I had a spine - a very sore spine, but a spine nonetheless !
(No Niamh not that kind of spine 😆 )
4am starts are becoming easier, even with a sleepless night due to severe back pain.
All the plans for today got brushed under the carpet as back pain forced a day of relaxed contemplation & a bit of a social media binge.
A couple of chats with my Bestie helped the day progress nicely.
This afternoon saw a bit of mischief & chaos over on @MaJ1 s a/c which helped to polish off the day. 😊
Final Thoughts:
Given the amount of codeine floating thru my system to keep the back pain under control we’re lucky I managed 1st thoughts , let alone final ones!
Hopefully tomorrow will be less painful & involve fewer prescription drugs !
Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 😊🫶🐿️🖖
@Tim_McTuffty
Owow those should help the muscles to grow and get stronger though 🤔 you should not drop them on you 😇
Ow that sucks 😔 it's what helps me most with my back and all...
My writing is a blend of typing and dictating—typing at my 8-year-old Mac when I need to be lost in music, zoomy thumbs while drowning in crowded spaces, and dictating to my phone when I am too restless to hold still. Chronic pain and competing #AuDHD needs heavily influence how I choose to write. #actuallyautistic#adhd
@wizzwizz4 I've tried many times to make this all fit in one toot. I write linearly—this makes compilation easy since I don't jump around the way I do when I casually speak or think. Writing differences get smoothed out in revisions and become less frequent with practice. At times, I may type/dictate in the same session. @writers#writer#author#indieauthor
I'm probably misunderstanding the question, but I think of mystical experiences as essentially private (even when they occur in a congregation) and advocacy as public.
TL:DR Sunshine! ☀️😁; walkies, water & what the hell is wrong with my back! In that order! ; Besties are the bees pyjamas ! 🤗🥰 ; 7500 steps towards Project WOOF are not to be sniffed at !
Today was a better day, getting up at 4am is becoming easier, settling into a pattern:
A quick trip to the smallest room is followed by a romp downstairs.
Having fought off & subsequently released the 2 Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts of Traal (aka Sophie & Alice mogs) tea is brewed & poured .
Breakfast crockery is laid out & then off back to bed.
I settle down to drink tea & chat with CDP 🧚♀️ as she returns from the gym & then sorts herself out for the day ahead.
Arwen is a lot better today so CDP 🧚♀️ is a lot happier ! 😊
This has a definite positive effect on me 😊
Mrs Squirrel is off into the office today, & in a fit of generosity & downright bravery in facing down my acrophobia, I offered to give her a lift to the edge of the city where she catches public transport into the city centre.
On the way home I stop off at one of the many reservoirs in our area & attempt to do a favourite walk around it’s shores.
7500 steps later I’m a fairly happy bunny, Project WOOF has progressed, it was a glorious walk around the reservoir, with the sun shining & no breeze to speak of.
Then I try to get back in the car & discover that somehow I’ve knackered my back !
A decent amount of intense pain across my lower back leaves me wondering how the hell I’ve managed to bugger it again!
Once home, chores are done , spine complaining wildly all the while!
A fairly healthy lunch of a tangerine & (honestly) a few handfuls of mixed nuts , washed down with corporation pop are followed by a nice long phone call with my Bestie! 😊
Who entirely fails on the ‘sympathy for the afflicted’ front! Words like ‘old’ & ‘decrepit ‘ were flung about in hilarious abandon. To be fair I did not disagree or discourage this because I was laughing too much. 😂
Once my dear friend had gone to bed I found myself not only at a lose end , but a painful lose end , so did what any right minded person would do & cleaned the bathroom. This may have been a straw too far if you get my drift…. sod breaking a camel’s back , mine exploded & suggested resting may be in order.
The rest as they say is history, I picked up Mrs Squirrel, cooked tea & collapsed in the recliner for the evening.
Final Thoughts:
In the interests of not sounding like a broken record I missed the almost obligatory trigger points that were tripped for me by a certain someone today. Needless to say this afternoon could have lived without that.
Walking is definitely helping in a number of ways, although doing my back in again is not one of them! I’m going to hit the codeine tonight , & I have to take a fairly high dose, so expect a slightly manic squirrel in the morning & then a bit of a crash landing, probably tomorrow afternoon.
I find the feedback I’m getting to my diary deeply supportive & very helpful, so please keep it coming. 🙏 🤗🥰
Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 😊🫶🐿️🖖
@Tim_McTuffty@actuallyautistic Hope your back pain is easing up a bit. As someone who tried to push through pain and paid for it dearly, I'd highly recommend resting as much as practicably possible, if you get sudden, acute pain.