It beautifully illustrates the fact that freedom of thought and expression is a universal need, and #ActuallyAutistic people are no exception.
There isn't a single population on Earth which doesn't have some sort of independence myth, but Jewish people might be unique in going through the process of regaining their autonomy countless times throughout history.
@theautisticcoach@actuallyautistic ah this was very helpful in explaining my situation yesterday. I was still blaming myself for not having enough control to stop it. Ah this might make me less judgy to myself afterwards, and explains what kina knew from experience that as soon as I did the uncontrolled crying I would be back to like I never got that upset. I was a little worried I was being bi- polar or something. Brains are weird
@GreenRoc@shannonpersists@Vincarsi@theautisticcoach@actuallyautistic oh my god this. =. “My body registers frustration as a precursor to requiring its survival mechanics.” Never thought about it this way… “ (the social )I tried to do the right thing and it backfired, the “I tried to apply what I learned from the last interaction “ no win situation “ is one of my triggers
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 38 Wednesday 6/12/23
TL:DR Project WOOF is back on track !; I love walking in sunny conditions; Squirrel to the rescue , no problem too small to look at & say ‘Nope , not a nut in a blenders chance of me fixing this! ‘;
Besties deserve all the hugs the internet can carry ! ; Triggers , what triggers !
Up at 4am as per, had a long chat with my Bestie, which was great 😊
After breakfast & a catch up session on here , I checked the weather & saw it was going to be a sunny day so with a little prompting from a dear friend I went for a walk up to Windy Hill , it was really sunny, but very cold - 2 hours & 12400 steps later I got home, knackered but having had a really enjoyable walk & talk my friend on the phone.
My Bestie was feeling under the weather this afternoon so chatting was limited to me doing what I do best & bombarding her with cute memes 😊 . Hopefully a decent nights sleep will see her right 🤗🥰
The rest of the day was fairly routine right up until around 16:30 when Mrs Squirrel popped her head around the door & asked if I could do a ‘favour’.
This turned out to be an emergency dash across the moors to my Mother in Laws’ to look at a none functioning boiler.
I’m no plumber , but I can do basic diags like check for power / gas / general functionality .
The boiler was deader than week old fish finger sandwich !
Did the old turn it off & on again routine , on the vague chance that The Lady would smile on me (if you have to ask who The Lady is then you need a pTerry refresher course ! ) but she didn’t.
We dug out a couple of electric heaters so yon MiL wouldn’t freeze to death & came back home with a plan to sort out a plumber tomorrow .
Once we got home I tried our tame plumber - Simon- who has serviced our boiler for years, on the off chance he would wonder to the end of the known world to look at a manky boiler.
Turns out that we can save some dosh & I can go across in the morning and take him with via the magic of a video call! He thinks its a fan & wants me to confirm it so we can reduce the time it takes for a fix.
Yay, gotta wonder ‘lonely as a Squirrel’ across the moors again !
Final Thoughts:
This morning was really enjoyable , it’s getting much easier to leave the house if my Bestie gives me a prod 😊
Mucho triggers faced down this afternoon & evening, no wonder I’m shagged ! The time critical nature of the situation & the diagnostic element absolutely helped draw my mind away from the whole going out, ‘socialising’ , ringing people things !
Anxiety is still there tho, I worry that I could have done more or that I should have rung Simon from MiLs house & then we would be that bit closer to a solution !
Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@Tim_McTuffty
Sounds like a busy day! 😁
Yay for the chat and all. Always nice to catch up with your bestie. 😊
And wow!! 12k steps is very well done! Glad the prod worked, now hoping you didn't do a but too much... Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 you won't be woofed due to the (too?) long walk... 😊
Hopefully all will go well at the MiL, again some fingers crossed 🤞🏻 for you. No heating with this weather is awful! Even if she's not the best person in the world, she doesn't need to freeze to death. 😊
Hopefully you're sleeping well now! Sending big Pixy hugs 🧚🏼♀️ and wet Arwen kisses 🐾 @actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@actuallyautistic a little, it's something I want to get better at. Actually I think that will be one of my habits for the new year - I'll make it creative too.
I find I get hung up on what I'm "supposed" to be writing and that makes it hard to express myself the way I actually want to.
I've been journaling in my new daily Filofax insert which has helped me get back into it a little.
@theautisticcoach@actuallyautistic I started writing a diary at some point after I had lost my memory and still write down important dates/events.
It used to be more about typing, so I don't get out of practice, nowadays I try not to write too much text, so it doesn't take me ages to read through the documents, if I ever want to write a summary.
I have recently had anti-racism and anti-colonialism as special interests (before I knew what that term meant).
It was with this context that I had an event which removed doubt I am Autistic.
I've noticed how there are many different forms of diversity that have been pathologized over the centuries in certain cultures (time isn't evenly distributed -- pathologizing people based on "race" is still common, and Eugenics is ongoing).
The vast majority (but NOT all) #ActuallyAutistic humans live with alexithymia, making it difficult for us to either engage or express (sometimes both) with our emotional state.
When combined with interoception issues (in our bodies) we lose access to just about all feelings besides those that we intellectualize.
Getting in touch with both our emotions and our physical embodied sensations is essential for living fully.
I understand these but I don't think the issue is that clear cut.
Basically what I'm trying to say is, I am apparently unable to identify and describe something my body feels.
If I am having difficulty concentrating on my work due to excessive noise outside but my brain can't make the connection and keeps trying to find a cause and I settle on "I am procrastinating because of my perfectionism", I have made an error in assessing and describing something I was feeling.
Also notice that I didn't say "I have alexithymia". I said "I didn't think I had any issues related to alexithymia."
Ultimately I don't exactly have a vested interest in claiming what I'm experiencing be called alexithymia. I'm merely interested in correctly identifying and reacting in useful ways to my needs and emotions, which I apparently have difficulty with.
@CynAq@theautisticcoach@actuallyautistic
Your experience is completely valid and I share this. I would just label it with bad interoception.
Sadly I don't have any solution for that.
For those of my #ActuallyAutistic comrades who understood that they're autistic later in life, did you find that the realization helped you get your life into a better spot? Or did it make things more complicated?
More specifically, do you find that it drains your energy more than most people? That you can't push yourself as hard as others? Or, put another way, that you need more rest and recovery time than most people?
Almost two years ago, I tried Couch to 5K. I made it to week five, then burned out and stopped because it so thoroughly drained every bit of energy I had.
I remember being so puzzled and confused about it. I remember thinking, what's wrong with me? I'm eating well. I'm eating enough. I'm getting enough sleep. I'm resting on my off days. I'm not extraordinarily out of shape and I was keeping up with the program well enough until the fifth week.
In retrospect, I'm wondering if it was an Autistic energy management problem, and I'm curious about others' experiences with C25K and other physical activity programs.
@llPK@dave@actuallyautistic the “autistic energy problem" described in the OP, i believe, is grounded inherently in sensory conditions (or the under-sensitivity of some of our senses) which has us drive towards extremes in multiple respects/ways in order to "feel” the limits that many NT/allistic folks can detect approaching earlier/sooner/with more fidelity.
To that end, i always loved swimming because it was a slower burndown on energy/resources. Disc Golf became a new FavoriteThing too
@aaronesilvers@llPK@dave@actuallyautistic
Yes for me it’s finding balance of energy and interests as fun and challenging daily. Especially when sick. Everything is relative and connected. Regardless I appreciate them and all things energy related. I love voicing and bouncing ideas around to help us all collectively.
TL:DR Meh still rules , but in the face of todays video meeting I was forced to tidy my desk! ; Official Diagnosis process has well & truly started! ; Besties Rock! ; Mastodonians Rock !
Busy day today, once I actually dug myself out of my pit, which I really didn’t want to do!
On the plus side the house was quiet as Mrs Squirrel was in the office !
Phase 1 of a major desk tidy revealed that there was actually a desk under all the junk after all !
Phase 2 will be going thru all the aforementioned junk & either bining it or putting it away.
Also moved & re-cabled my docking station so that it stopped looking like I had spilt a can of oversized spaghetti on the floor!
I chatted with my Bestie for a decent chunk of the desk tidying process , which was really nice 😊
She told me some exciting news she had received & I was so very pleased for her !
Thus we arrived at the key point if todays story, ASD Pre-assessment appointment 1.
The lass I’m dealing with at this stage ,Abbie, was very nice to deal with & put me at my ease, event though I was initially deeply uncomfortable with the whole idea of the video call freaked me out no end!
The hour long call seemed to take for ever , but it was finally over & the stage is set for next weeks session.
This evening has been taken up with trying to catch up on Mastodon, a near impossible task this late in the day when I have to be in bed & asleep by 10pm at the latest.
Final Thoughts:
I’m still recovering from the discovery that, for whatever reason, my Dad appears to know sod all about me. It’s gonna be a slow process to come to terms with this I think.
It always brightens my day when folks I know get good & unexpected news , for it to be my Bestie was just the icing on the cake! 😊
My ‘official’ journey to a diagnosis has begun properly today, it is both a pleasing & a daunting realisation!
One of the questions was “What do you want out of this ?” ultimately my answer was I’m not sure, I have never been well , thus I don’t know what that ‘looks’ like . If it’s even possible !
Mastodonians rock ! Love you guys, even if I can’t keep up with events as much as I would like at the moment!
Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
How do I make friends as an adult? I'm new to my area and don't have any local friends or community. Have been struggling with loneliness a lot lately.
@solarisfire@magicalgrrrl@actuallyautistic honestly I'd love almost the opposite of that. I'm not very comfortable just going to do an activity with strangers. I'd much rather meet people with a common interest in an activity in a social context for such people, befriend them if that goes well, then do the activity with my new friends.
Ofc I'm open to making friends of any kind, but if we lack things in common, we won't have much to talk about 😅
@actuallyautistic I'm having a hard time with demand avoidance right now. I can just about being myself to do things from my to-do lists, but I just pull a blanket over my head when it comes to social stuff, ignoring people's calls and messages. Any tips from you #actuallyautistic guys on how to get out of that hole?
Yes, hypervigilance and sleep aren't a great combo 😑
I wonder sometimes in other cultures where they are surrounded with other people sleeping in the room.. if that brings down the adrenaline levels in oneself. I bet there are studies ....hm
I'm really sorry I always just go off on one with my thoughts. I don't think it's much practical use to people.
Haha! I'm the onliest of onlys, have difficulty sleeping with /any/ motion in the room, and am currently typing this rather than sleep in a homeless shelter with a hundred bunks and a bunch of dudes wandering around coughing.