NeurodivergentBC, to actuallyautistic
@NeurodivergentBC@neurodifferent.me avatar
russellmcormond,
@russellmcormond@fosstodon.org avatar

@IanSudbery @danimo @NeurodivergentBC @actuallyautistic @allautistics @neurodivergent @academicchatter @edutooters

I found online courses very useful. As an adult in my 50's I recently audited two from the

https://mcormond.blogspot.com/2021/01/UANativeStudies.html

One of the professors is on Mastodon @KimTallBear

Much better than my in-person uni experience back in the day (long before I knew about ). Never graduated: happy to discuss what went wrong (doubt anyone interested).

arcana, to actuallyautistic
@arcana@fedi-01.starlight.quest avatar

@actuallyautistic i'm so exhausted of how inaccessible activism and social justice is. sometimes it feels like every single movement other than neurodivergence stuff specifically excludes neurodivergent people. even a lot of general disability movements.

constantly seeing new rules on what we can and cannot say, how to correctly engage with topics, etc really fucking strikes a nerve at this point.

like, "don't ask questions and do your own research," because asking clarifying questions is a dick move, even if you're actually confused and just want to learn how to help and it's not researchable. (source: I HAVE DONE SO MUCH FUCKING RESEARCH)

"don't say this word or phrase anymore" like okay, sure if i give someone my preferred pronouns i'm clearly transphobic against myself because i'm supposed to just say "pronouns." i'm not allowed to say "socialized woman" to describe my shared experiences anymore, either, because apparently some bigots made a dogwhistle out of it and somehow that's my responsibility (this gripe excludes slurs, which are pretty cut and dry)

like, fucking honestly, it feels like 95% of social justice conversations these days are just policing general social interactions with extremely unintuitive etiquette, alienating anyone who cannot make sense of the neverending rules.

which — oh, right. that group consists primarily of autists, doesn't it? "well that's okay, autistic struggles are clearly exaggerated and if someone sounds like an asshole that must mean they're an asshole and i should treat them like one."

i want to be an effective activist SO BAD but the community is ACTIVELY hostile and inaccessible to me because of my adhd, autism, and trauma. i basically give up at this point and i hate people.

russellmcormond,
@russellmcormond@fosstodon.org avatar

@Dr_Obvious @arcana @actuallyautistic

I wrote about my concern with "workplace harassment policies", which appeared to me to be a policy which could be abused to harass diverse individuals (including , but also other cultures/etc).

https://mcormond.blogspot.com/2023/05/workplace-harassment.html

I have issued with those who self-identify as "Woke". There is a difference between having an open mind and open heart, and publicly performing "I am a good person".

Lack of intersectional thinking in Performative Wokeness.

poloniousmonk, to actuallyautistic
@poloniousmonk@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @autistic[email protected]

What is this "mask", what do y'all mean by "masking"?

Like, what's the difference between a mask and a public persona?

Both my parents are pretty autistic and in total denial about it. Lacking siblings, cousins, a culture, or human contact, I really have no frame of reference for this stuff.

Thanks.

sentient_water,
@sentient_water@neurodifferent.me avatar

@poloniousmonk @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @autistic[email protected] Masking is a bit of a loaded term as it has been used in psychology for a long time to describe a neutral expression used in busy places with strangers say on a cramped train.

Autistic masking is a conscious or unconscious tendency to hide autistic traits so that we're not mocked, rejected or misunderstood. Many of us do it without thinking & are pretty good at it but it takes a tremendous toll on us over time.

Perhaps social camouflage is a better description? Among other autistics we don't need to hide these traits so they can be really positive experiences.

Yeah sorry to hear about your parents denial. It's very common because the myths & stereotypes about are very pervasive & largely wrong.

If you want to reach out to the autistic community directly use as it tends to get right to us.

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix, to actuallyautistic
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

When services fail to make themselves accessible or helpful to minority groups, they have failed completely.

I think about mental health services in particular, both CAMHS and adult services, that constantly fail to support neurodivergent people.

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd @neurodiversity

appassionato, to bookstodon
@appassionato@mastodon.social avatar

Uniquely Human
A Different Way of Seeing Autism

A groundbreaking book on autism, by one of the world's leading experts, who portrays autism as a unique way of being human.

@bookstodon


alexisbushnell, to actuallyautistic
@alexisbushnell@toot.wales avatar

It's so frustrating that I can just about function "normally" for a year max and then everything goes to shit, regardless of what I do, what's been happening, etc.

Is this a common Autistic issue?

@actuallyautistic

BZBrainz,
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

@willaful @alexisbushnell @actuallyautistic making a practice of building in buffer & recovery times has been challenging, but some of the better work that I’ve done to reduce the frequency shutdown and meltdowns. Sometimes I knowingly forgo this practice—and pay the cost, but I do so with informed consent. It is so wonderful to hear that you were teaching this to your kid.

joshsusser, to actuallyautistic
@joshsusser@neurodifferent.me avatar

How do we get someone like Rebecca Watson to debunk and expose the billion dollar industry based on junk science psychology that abuses kids until they conform to neurotypical social norms at the cost of their own mental health and well-being?

ABA tldr: ABA is and is gay conversion therapy for . That's not just a metaphor - they are the very same thing used for different socially unacceptable "conditions". Both ABA and conversion therapy were created by the same person, Ivar Lovass, and use the same methods. Those training methods are so terrible they are literally not legal to use on dogs, and conversion therapy itself is illegal in many countries and US states. If any reasonable standards were applied, ABA would also be illegal.

I have tried to get journalists of all stripes interested in doing an ABA exposé, but even the ones who get interested never seem to be able to make it a priority. It's easy to deprioritize ABA reporting when there's no market for it, and even stories about routine physical abuse and electric shock torture of autistic kids at don't break through, so I get why journalists don't bother. But we desperately need reporting on ABA that debunks the current mythology that it is helpful and justifies it being the only therapy for autistic kids that medical insurance will cover.

An ABA exposé segment by John Oliver could change everything, but he'll never do it because he's buddies with Jon Stewart who is a supporter of ABA and raises millions of dollars for ABA promoters like AutismSpeaks. (Surprise, Jon Stewart has an autistic son. It's often the autism parents who drink the ABA kool-aid because it lets them get their kids under control, and they don't know any better. Which is why we need reporting on it.)

We have four months until April, the dreaded Autism Awareness Month. Wouldn't it be nice if next year the month was about banning ABA instead of raising money for it? Anyone know anyone with a platform who is up for helping millions of autistic kids avoid a childhood of medically-approved abuse?

@actuallyautistic

BZBrainz, to actuallyautistic
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

As a kid, I used to tell people, “I can’t do things too many times in a row.” I decided 2 days in a row was the most I could do any one pleasant or enjoyable extra thing—play a game? Get my favorite particular DQ treat? Somewhere past that threshold was routine & meltdowns if I could not have the same everyday or if I had too much fun. My current personal work is identifying maladaptive coping strategies for meltdown management or prevention. #actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic #AuDHD

BZBrainz,
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

@actuallyautistic @audhd
Writing does open up my ability to communicate in a unilateral direction. Unilateral isn't quite right; my writing is like a cell with a semipermeable membrane. All are welcome to try to enter to create conversation, but by design, only certain things get through and can be used to create. #AuDHD #actuallyautistic #autism #autistic

ratcatcher, to actuallyautistic
@ratcatcher@c.im avatar

Periodic reminder that the @actuallyautistic group and hashtag are intended for discussion BETWEEN AND AMONGST people who are autistic (diagnosed or self-diagnosed) or think they may be.

If you are not autistic, by all means read what is posted, but please respect this as an autistic space and do not post here.

There are plenty of other groups and hashtags under which more general discussion of can take place and can include professionals, academics, non-autistic parents of autistic children and those with a general interest in the subject.

But the second - often overlooked - issue is this:

My fellow autists - when someone who is clearly not themselves autistic does post to the group, PLEASE, PLEASE do not engage. I know it's hard, but ultimately it just subverts, dilutes and prolongs discussions which can rapidly become unhelpful and adversarial.

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix, to autisticadvocacy
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar
DivergentDumpsterPhoenix,
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar
sahat, to actuallyautistic
@sahat@c.im avatar

I once had a relationship with an AuDHD male. He had a certain trait. It's not very common, but I have heard from people that experience this.
It was scary and it ended the realtionship. He used to get into a form of meltdown where he would be uncontrollably agitated.. Rage, despair, IDK what to call it. It looked like anger. And then he would loose the memory about what had transpired. He did not recall what he had said or how he had behaved. It must be hard to live with this, cus I am sure, it wrecks relationships, period. Now I am curious, have any of you this trait, has anyone experienced this, either in my role or in his? I would be interested to hear more about this. I recently talked to him after many years of silence. It brought this all up. He didn't know about his neurodivergence at the time. And it scared the heck out of him to be hearing me describe, what took place, when he stopped having memory.
@actuallyautistic

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@spika @sahat @actuallyautistic I have both kinds of PTSD, and agree that there are time when it's hard to differentiate. I usually don't analyze in terms of which it is (autism vs. PTSD), but that's because my PTSD flashbacks and #autism #meltdowns have different triggers and manifestations and I usually know what's causing the problem.

servelan,
@servelan@newsie.social avatar

@nddev @spika @sahat @actuallyautistic When it's #autism, I get angry and want to throw things (mostly the inanimate objects that pushed me to the edge by not cooperating), so I think it's possible the consequences/symptoms differ from person to person and might even be gender-influenced to some extent.

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix, to autisticadvocacy
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

It's a good thing when more people get their diagnosis. It validates their struggle and increases the chance of them finding Autistic spaces.

While we should work towards a world where diagnosis is not required, we need to recognise that people without a diagnosis struggle a lot.

https://emergentdivergence.com/2023/11/23/is-there-an-autism-epidemic/

https://emergentdivergence.com/2023/11/12/the-shocking-state-of-autism-diagnosis-in-the-uk/

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd

BZBrainz, to bookstodon
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

✅ Are you an adult that suspects you have spectrum disorder () and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder ( )?
✅ Are you still trying to identify your traits and describe your experiences to access support?

Late-Identified : A Starter Workbook—a tool for beginners. Available in ebook with downloadable work pages and paperback.
➡️ https://books2read.com/audhd
@bookstodon
@Adhdinos
@actuallyautistic

eo, to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

what are some of the most common, or most bothersome, false assumptions people make about you?

Don't limit yourself to neurodiversity or any other topic.

petelittle1970,
@petelittle1970@masto.alittleofnothing.co.uk avatar

@eo @actuallyautistic

That my meant my Maths degree was easy.

That i'm against/dislike something because I don't immediately rave about it. I need processing and thinking time to know how I really feel.

That because I'm a congenital anosmic I can't taste things.

That because I'm Scottish I like Irn Bru.

That because I stammer I'm stupid or lying or both.

That because I'm a man I don't get easily upset or cry over soppy things.

NeurodivergentBC, to actuallyautistic
@NeurodivergentBC@neurodifferent.me avatar

People that are not actually cannot be experts on . Period. Reposting this through the @actuallyautistic group for better reach.

JeremyMallin, to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

I rarely ever address anyone by name. There are people I've known for decades whose names I've never even used when addressing them directly.

Is that an #Autism thing?

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

MrBerard, to actuallyautistic
@MrBerard@pilote.me avatar

Once a week, I pull a lateral move and go for a walk without notice cancelling close-back headphones, and, when taken in in small doses, the sonic assault of the urban cacophony can be almost enjoyed for its complexity, like a pinball for mindfulness.

@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

SociologyMag, to academicsunite
@SociologyMag@sciences.social avatar
DivergentDumpsterPhoenix, to actuallyautistic
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

Autistic burnout is one of the greatest crises that an Autistic person can face.

People often think of it as similar to depression, but it can take many diverse forms.

what does burnout look like for you?

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd

aby, to random
@aby@aus.social avatar

Doctor appt today, and he happily wrote up all the pain relief I needed prescribed for my shoulder.

I thought it might be difficult to get him to prescribe endone, panadeine forte, mobic, panadol osteo, and palexia.. but we went over how I was taking them all and he agreed that I was fine with how I was approaching it - and that taking such a variety of things meant actually taking less opioid based meds because I was able to keep on top of the pain with things like panadol osteo.

We also did my mental health plan and I hit a 40 on the K10.. which is Very Fucking High. We talked about that, and about how therapy is helping and that a big part of the 40 score is probably actually pain related as well.

He agreed that I showed great insight into my illness and that I was comfortable with being vulnerable enough to ask for help, so I get to skip hospitalisation (fucking yay!) because I have a good support system and I know how to access acute assistance if needed.

But still, 40 was even higher than I was expecting tbh. I'm usually around a 25-27.

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How did my comrades come to know that they’re autistic?

@actuallyautistic

a,
@a@beige.party avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

I put in my profile recently. Lightly touching the spectrum and very definitely , but self diagnosed because I can’t get assessed here (Fife, Scotland). Mental health services are stretched and people like me are subject to a post code lottery meaning services vary widely by region and my region is very limited. What services they provide have to go to people with way more difficulties than me. I would have to pay a significant fee to be tested and there’s no money to spare for that.

I started looking into it about a year ago and joining the fediverse, seeing what other people were posting about and doing some tests recommended by others which showed up my tendencies as not being neurotypical.

Have dyscalculia, misophonia, probably dysgraphia, sensory issues with certain textures (the feeling of foam rubber or sweeping brush bristles on concrete can make me curl up and wail hysterically 😂) Sound and smell, taste sensitivities as well. All of this was completely missed in my school years - ‘78-‘89.

At school, according to educators, I was a lazy dreamer. I exhibit most of the classic ADHD tendencies.

I’ve wrestled with saying these things out loud, because who gets diagnosed or just discovers/realises this in their 50s!? Looks around 👀 OH! Plenty of us it seems.

There are, sadly, plenty of doubters around, but they’re not worth listening to. I’m dropping that kind of negativity like a hot stone these days.

janetlogan, to actuallyautistic
@janetlogan@mas.to avatar

Opinions on this YouTuber? I'm hearing a lot from him that feels very relevant to my recent as an person. This video is ringing bells for me too. There are things that I've always done, that are apparently ?

The Importance of Stimming for LATE Diagnosed Autistic People

https://youtube.com/watch?v=HOeiw55xtFc&si=XED_RpD0mLCHX0rd

@actuallyautistic

russellmcormond, to actuallyautistic
@russellmcormond@fosstodon.org avatar

Asking @actuallyautistic

We have all heard the phrase: "You are either with us, or against us".

I've observed for many people, given that choice, they will not want to be perceived as against anyone so will claim they are "with".

I don't believe very many real-world scenarios are binary, so I see this as a logical fallacy https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/black-or-white .

If forced into that binary, I will always say "against" given I reject the question itself.

Is that an thing, or is that just me?

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