#AuDHD
watching this, I realized that my whole life was a manic search for activities , situations of that extraordinary quality that satisfy both my need for stimulation, fun, movement and novelty and my need for peace and calm. No wonder I ended up with the more therapeutic kinds of dancing and the more ecstatic kinds of meditation... @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tPjlkyHJwI
I’m at #indieauthor conference this week. Someone laid out infinity pins with a nice unsigned note. Thank you!
Conferences can be difficult for me though I keep coming back to try. Every year I get a little better at it and a lot more comfortable with the environment (though I’ll admit to retracting back into my room between many panels). I’ve support and made a few good friends over the last few years around a mutual passion. @audhd@actuallyautistic#autistic#audhd#adhd
I’ve been noticing, in my random sleep times, that I’m way more productive if I crash early in the evening and wake in the early morning (2-4am). If I rode the energy and take my time starting up, I enter the daylight hours feeling much more energetic and productive. I’m not sure if I want to make this a regular thing but it might best trying to stay up late after kiddo is down for sleep.
watching a tv- documentary about #ADHD , thinking about how impressed people are by those little card tricks our brains can do. And by other things that they can't. It endlessly fascinates, same with autism, #AuDHD
I think the focus is a little off here. A brain is connected to a nervous system is connected to a whole body of a person that is part of an environment, a society etc.
Our cultures habit to divide a whole way of being into little tricks(applause) or failures (medication or ostracization) does not present a good key to this hyperconnected experience. I seems so blind to me. We may find support for certain particular things, no doubt. But I'd feel so lost if I'd adopt this way of thinking about myself. @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
sometimes I read something on here a personal account or something political, that moves me. It often takes until the next day or even several days before I know why and what it is, that I would like to reply to that. most the time I don't, cus I can't find the original post anymore or because I assume, it's too late. Sometimes I then write up a long long post. About this issue and all the implications and my experience and so on.
That's just the way my brain functions. I can't help it. There seems to always be too much in it. Too many threads connecting too many things and too deep feelings. I wonder whether I should quit this alltogether and rather dump my hyperconnected brain's content into a blog. On the other hand, I love the community on here. All of this presents exactly the same in my offline life.
the @actuallyautistic community has helped me so much in trying all of this out, reflecting on it and receiving encouragement. In my initial unmasking phase I got a ton of flag from NT on my style of communication and the intensity of it. I knew I needed to learn and adjust.
I'm often way fast actually. All of these patterns and connected issues flash into my mind right away. But creating a bridge of communication takes time. Mastering the intensity and the volume of it. The impatience. The need to balance my physical.emotional mental energy finding ways to stim or otherwise relax that work. After decades of masking and suppressing some of the actual content I had to find a whole new way of expressing myself truthfully. With all of that extra ND energy and views included. It was rough at the beginning.
This space here was important to me in being able to have helpful and loving feedback and being able to take all of those baby steps. Thank you all. #AuDhd#ActuallyAutistic#adhd
This year I am participating in #nanowrimo and decided to use something said to me as a prompt for a scene.
Spouse: “I was worried about you. You’re never that still. The only time you’re that still is when something is very wrong. I didn’t realize how much you moved until you stopped.” And they were right.
#AskingAutistics Does telling an allistic person you're #autisticever help improve communication? Over and over, I let people know I'm autistic in hopes it will help, but it never makes things better. It seems like no one wants to do the reading, or to make an effort to even meet me halfway. The main reactions I get when I disclose fall into these categories:
Ignore it entirely and just keep on like I'm not autistic.
Say I'm nothing like their 10 year old nephew who has #autism.
Assume that since we're friends it doesn't matter, because friendship is magic and will enable me to "overcome my autism" with them if I am just motivated enough, and if they aren't special enough for me to do that then I don't really value them as a friend.
Give advice on how I can mask better for their comfort and convenience, like I haven't spent my whole life becoming expert on that.
Try to be accommodating without taking the time to learn what is helpful and what is just going to make things worse.
Infantilize me and treat me like a child or an intellectually disabled person.
Give up on me because autistic people are too hard to deal with.
No reaction, because most people don't know anything about autism. They don't even understand that I'm doing all the work to bridge the communication gap, or that they could do anything to help, or even cut me some slack when I fail.
I do have a couple allistic friends who accommodate me enough to maintain a decent relationship, but they are rare and special. And we had somehow worked that out before I knew I was #ActuallyAutistic even, so telling them still didn't change much.
Has anyone had communication improve by telling someone you're autistic? Or is that just a fantasy?
@joshsusser No, I haven’t found telling people I’m #autistic improves communication due to a poor general public understanding of #autism —or the breadth of what the term encompasses. Instead, if I need to have this conversation, I will focus it around my specific communication needs or traits. #AuDHD @actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic
Late-Identified #AuDHD A Starter Workbook—beginner's tool for adults—has been out for 6 months! Check it out, & if you already have, consider leaving a review. Thank you!
✅ Do you suspect you have #autism spectrum disorder (#ASD) & attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (#adhd )
✅ Are you still trying to identify your traits & describe your experiences to access support?
Conclusive "proof" that #Autism & #ADHD are significant disabilities, from an unlikely source.
If you wanted to play an average #AudHD character in GURPS you'd have to take the following Disadvantages: "Absent-indedness", "Partial Amnesia", "Confused", "Gullibility", "Honesty", "Light Sleeper", "Klutz", "Social Stigma" and optionally "No Sense of Humor", and / or "Cannot Speak"
On the upside, that'll get you 70-115 points to spent on Advantages!
Great place with a lot of real science online is DietDoctor.com
Fantastic for my neurodivergent nervous system. I think that's why we are so prone to autoimmune disorders. We have chronically high stress, which shuts down our immune system.
Autistic love languages can look different than NT ones. We like to share experiences, may unmask around people we are comfortable with, do penguin pebbling, share a special interest, stim, or infodump.
Ich habe mal eine Frage an die @actuallyautistic Gruppe in Deutschland.
Habt ihr eine offizielle #Autismus und oder #ADHS Diagnose erhalten und dadurch negative Folgen erlitten?
Gegenüber Schule und Arbeitgeber kann man es sich natürlich aussuchen, ob man die Diagnose publik macht. Aber wenn man bestimmte Versicherungen abschließen möchte, wird ja eine Gesundheitsauskunft verlangt. Ich denke zB an BU Versicherung oder einer verpflichtenden Risikolebensv. für einen Immokredit.
@Kjun@actuallyautistic
Yeah this is really fucked up. It is strongly depending on each country and of course one can only guess about future development.
For the next years I guess me and my wife are blacklisted anyway since she is seeing a therapist for depression. I guess I could justify my current consultation related to phobia. But if I go the way for me and my kid for #AuDHD , I might create life time impacts. And since I am doubtful of actual help. I might stop that for the better.
I read today for the first time, that their are "must have" traits of autism. In the sense of some traits that every autistic person has and not in the sense that just many autistic persons have them. What are these?
@benni@actuallyautistic
I am dealing now for around a month of self diagnosing my #AuDHD. And I am facing strong imposter feelings as soon I read this claims every autist has this or that and I don't see this at the moment in me. It is relieving to read the experience of often even formally diagnosed people confirming, they are lacking these traits too.
@benni@actuallyautistic
Some people claim that that there is a growing group of falsely selfdiagnosed people that actively and falsely shift the definition of autism. That is some sort of strong gatekeeping and I guess there are different motives for it.
But some years ago they even neglected #AuDHD exist at all. So how well based can be the claim you have to show x to be autist?
@autism101@actuallyautistic
Good analogy. A mixer takes in many inputs and sums them into a stereo output, just like a brain takes many inputs from senses, and emotions, and sums them into an experience that consciousness can interact with.
That said, that’s not a mixer in the picture, but a ten band EQ, which also could work as a brain analogy but not as well as the mixer.
I think a mixer with built in EQ is better than the individual ones, as the brain not only takes input at different intensities but also colorizes them with its many different filters.
I just discovered the perfet stim in a dream. To achieve it I need a chair that can both recline and tilt as well as rotate at a constant speed around an adjustable centre of gravity...
Folks, I realised that I'm a zest expert who is struggling with my zest.
Let's turn that realisation into something useful for us all!
Integrity is really important to me as a coach. While I am not perfect and I don't have everything sorted (and I am totally fine with that), it's important for me to be open and honest about my own challenges. That's something I do want to have high standards about.
I don't want you to look at my posts and think everything is fine with my life, and that I have some weird and unattainable level of skill for crafting my life that you'll never attain. I want you to know that many of my challenges are also or have been your challenges, at some point.
And that those challenges can be surmountable rather than insurmountable!
So I am being open and honest with you about my own zest struggles this week...and share what I am doing about it in case it helps you.
Zest is a feeling of being alive, energised, enthused and motivated. Zesty people have "get up and go" and do things that bring them joy and make them feel charged up.
When we are busy and we have responsibilities or deadlines, it can be tempting to cancel or avoid activities that are fun but not essential to completing those tasks.
I realised this weekend that this is often a false economy. I have a busy work period right now and I have a lot of external deadlines to meet. As a result, I've been spending my time and brainpower on just getting those tasks done. Yes, I've made some progress but...
...I feel rubbish. My mood has dropped a little. My energy levels are down. And, actually, I notice that I'm less able to engage with the things I need to do, and I'm having to "force myself" a bit more to concentrate. (That's never a good sign, personally.)
I spoke to my own coach and realised that I know what brings me zest BUT I am not making little zest pockets in my schedule to get energy from those things.
As a result, I committed to booking in 20 minute zest pockets into my diary - yes, just 20 minutes - to allow myself to indulge in things I am deeply interested in.
The research in psychology tells us that the emotion of interest can calm the nervous system and give us juicy brain chemicals that boost mood and make us feel energised...so booking in zest pockets is a small, doable and effective way to help myself feel better. And I'll be able to do my tasks better by taking some time out. Sometimes, doing the fun thing is actually the best thing to do to move your work/life admin forward! (I think we need to stop feeling guilty about this, as it is what we need to do what we want to do!)
My first zest pocket was to reconnect with a beautiful special interest from childhood.
As a child, I used to sit in the garden late at night and use my dad's binoculars to look at the night sky and tick off all the constellations I could see in my little i-spy guide. (How they didn't realise I was autistic, I don't know but, hey, it was the 80s.)
Last night, I went out to a dark field near my home for just 20 minutes and picked out some constellations. Then I came home and info-dumped what I'd seen to my very patient girlfriend, who listened and supported me to access my zest. The photos show some of what I saw.
I experienced such joy from stargazing again. And it only took 20 minutes of my time. This morning, I feel enthused and motivated, and my mood has improved a little.
Therefore, I am asking you...
What are you deeply interested in that you've neglected?
Could you spend 20 minutes with it to boost your zest this week?
How would you feel and what would the benefits be if you did so?
And when are you going to do it? Make that commitment to care for yourself by boosting your zest - even if it's in 2 weeks' time, schedule in a brain-date with yourself. It might just help.
I'll keep sharing my own zest journey with you in case it helps.
Reach out to me at any time if you have questions about how to boost your zest!
I've been writing about masking and the impact on your zest this morning.
When we are authentic, what we present to the world mostly matches what we think and feel on the inside.
The pain, effort, challenge and consequences of masking come from when the gulf between who we are inside and how we go about in the public sphere is too wide to cope with.
I would never advise that anyone just "rip off" their metaphorical mask and do it without consideration for a safe, gentle, do-able way to do it.
Many people have told me - and this was also my experience - that once the mask is off, it's off and it's kind of not going back on again!
Therefore, if you desire to unmask, then it's best done gentle and intensely.
It's also important to note that in some places in the world and in some social contexts, it is easier and safer for some people to unmask than others. I acknowledge my own privilege as a white, CIS-gender woman in this respect. That is why I am always sensitive to what is safe and possible within personal contexts when it comes to discussing masking with clients.
In any case, I often find that people who are later-discovered and have masked extensively for years even mask at home, on their own. Sometimes, they don't know who their authentic self is and have lost touch with who they are "at heart".
Therefore, it's usually safe enough to start your unmasking journey by getting to know yourself now you know more about your brain. That's where a lot of my work begins.
If you know your tendencies, preferences, cognitive style, communication needs, and sensory profile, for example, it's a lot easier to have that intentional discussion about if/when you can begin to unmask...perhaps in the privacy of your own home at first.
Morning, all!
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to appear on SalesTV this morning.
I am talking about neurodivergence in sales, and how sales leaders can support their neurodivergent team members, as well as ideas for how to support yourself to deal with your workplace needs in sales.
If you want to work with me and see me in this setup, then the next chance is my emotional regulation workshop on the 27th of October at 7.15pm.
We'll talk about
what emotional regulation is
how emotional regulation/dysregulation can show up for ADHD and autistic adults
the kind of relationship you'd like to have to your emotions
one recommendation I can give for starting off a journey of emotional regulation
your mini-action plan for relating to your emotions in the way you'd prefer
We don't demonise any emotions (it can zap zest to do so) and I take a compassionate and accepting approach.
You get a free pdf workbook 3 days before the workshop to allow you to reflect and prepare, and understand more about the session. Captions will be on. You have your camera off if you need, and communication is through the chatbox, so no one needs to speak. We will also keep session confidentiality, and no recordings of you are sent out.
So if you'd like to see and experience your emotions in a slightly different way, this could be the session for you.
You get to work with a trained coach (me) for 1hr 15 minutes for just £15.