Cwilliams,

Text version:

Downloaded a virus for Linux lately and unpacked it. Tried to run it as root, didn’t work. Googled for 2 hours, found out that instead of /usr/local/bin the virus unpacked to /usr/bin for which the user malware doesn’t have any write permissions, therefore the virus couldn’t create a process file. Found patched .configure and .make files on some Chinese forum, recompiled and rerun it. The virus said it needs the library cmalw-lib-2.0.Turns out cmalw-lib-2.0 is shipped with CentOS but not with Ubuntu. Googled for hours again and found an instruction to build a.deb package from source. The virus finally started, wrote some logs, made a core dump and crashed. After 1 hour of going through the logs I discovered the virus assumed it was running on ext4 and called into its disk encryption API. Under btrfs this API is deprecated. The kernel noticed and made this partition read-only

Opened the sources, grep’ed the Bitcoin wallet and sent $5 out of pity.

lemmy,
@lemmy@lemmy.stonansh.org avatar

i laughed so hard 😂 😂 😂

vsis,
@vsis@feddit.cl avatar

Sorry, folks. Using cmalw-lib is now deprecated.

Cool kids are using systemd-malwd

UnverifiedAPK,

It’s like that guy that posted an example Bitcoin miner on GitHub, then a bunch of script kiddies forgot to change his wallet info for their own before deploying… He made a good chunk of change by doing nothing malicious.

CanadaPlus,

Dream job.

schnurrito,

Isn’t this just a newer version of this? www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/evilmalware.html

chinpokomon,

Even if it were inspired, it is significantly different the way it’s written. I’ve hit these same challenges before, so I’m more inclined to think it is independent discovery.

LogarithmicCamel,

The newer one is a lot funnier though.

ram,

This reminds me of the old linux hater’s blog post “At least we don’t have any viruses”.

AnarchistArtificer,

That certainly was a blog with many emotions. Coming at this with no context, it looks like the kind of content that would be beautiful satire, except it’s probably not.

ram,

Linux Hater’s Blog was half satire and half honest criticism.

murtaza64,

Seems like the prediction about the web panned out…

merthyr1831,

if youre gonna write linux malware at least distribute it as a flatpak ffs

OtakuAltair,

Scammers these days lack basic courtesy 🤦‍♂️

spez,
Cabrio,
NatoBoram,

Should’ve written the malware in Go, smh

zikk_transport2,

<span style="color:#323232;">./malware -help
</span>
NatoBoram,

<span style="color:#323232;">Usage: ./malware [OPTIONS]
</span><span style="color:#323232;">
</span><span style="color:#323232;">Options:
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  -h, --help            Display this help message and exit.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  -i, --infect          Infect target system with payload.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  -s, --spread          Spread malware to vulnerable hosts.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  -c, --configure       Configure malware settings interactively.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  -o, --output [FILE]   Save log output to a file.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  -q, --quiet           Quiet mode - suppress non-critical output.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">
</span><span style="color:#323232;">Advanced Options:
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  -a, --activate [CODE] Activate advanced features with code.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  -b, --backdoor [PORT] Open backdoor on specified port.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  -m, --mutate          Evade detection by mutating code.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">
</span><span style="color:#323232;">Description:
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  Malware toolkit for educational purposes only.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  Use responsibly on authorized systems.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">
</span><span style="color:#323232;">Examples:
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  ./malware -i                  Infect local system with default payload.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  ./malware -i -s               Infect and spread to other systems.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  ./malware -a ACTCODE -b 1337  Activate advanced features and open backdoor.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  ./malware -q -o output.log    Run quietly, save logs to 'output.log'.
</span>
Zozano,

I guess the process could be regarded as gain of function research.

some_guy,

I laughed and my partner ask why. I told her it’s some really nerdy humor. She was fine not hearing the joke, but I loosely explained it anyway. She humored me anyway. She’s a good woman.

Moc, (edited )

I too think your partner is a good woman

NoIWontPickaName,

I don't understand this partner thing.

Idk why, it just bothers me to hear someone say that instead of girl/boyfriend or Significant Other.

It just sounds so damn clinical.

That said, I also choose this person's partner.

Moc,

My fiancé asked me to start calling her partner because she was sick of being called girlfriend after 8 years

Deebster,
@Deebster@lemmy.ml avatar

When you get married you can call her your ex-girlfriend

Moc,

Thanks I’m stealing this

NoIWontPickaName,

Don't. They don't think it is as funny as we do.

Been there, done that.

can,

Some old nuts don’t like to hear that I’ve been living with my girlfriend for years.

MajorHavoc,

Yeah. That’s another reason I try to help normalize terms like “partner”.

It’s so much shorter to say than “fuck off, this is who I choose to spend my life with, the details are no one else’s business.”

Maybe we could get an acronym though. That could help. FOTIWICTSMLW,TDANOEB

Zagorath,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

To me, partner seems so much less clinical than “significant other”.

Partner is good because it says nothing about gender, which is good if your partner does not conform to a gender binary, but also just if you don’t want to reveal their gender either to prevent people being weirdos about it—like they often can online, especially if you say it’s your “girlfriend”—or to protect yourself if, for example, you’re in a same-sex relationship. But it also says nothing too specific about the status of your relationship. Are they your girlfriend? Fiancée? Wife? Something less conventional? If it’s not important to the story, why not leave that detail out?

spauldo,

I had a partner when I opened a computer shop back in the day. Closest I’ve come to having sex with him was the time I saw his wife topless through the window.

Significant Other is much more specific.

RaivoKulli,

It’s also much weirder sounding. You know what sort of partner they mean from context (same as you know if someone means girlfriend girlfriend or a friend that is a girl)

NoIWontPickaName,

Significant other checks all those boxes as well

Zagorath,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

Sure, but like I said, significant other feels a lot more clinical and cold than partner.

MonkderZweite,

Because she’s a woman and not a girl? (don’t shoot me, im not english native. But Partnerin is the same)

NoIWontPickaName,

In English we use girlfriend and boyfriend regardless of age.

It's a weird quirk, but it's a quirky language.

thebestaquaman,

Some languages - specifically Norwegian that I know of, don’t have separate words for “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”. In Norwegian we have the word “kjæreste” which can be directly translated to “dearest”. To me it always feels a little weird to use “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, i guess the same could be true for other non-native english speakers.

Anticorp,

Dearest is nice. I’m going to share that with my kjæreste.

twistedcarbon,

I always use “type” for boyfriend or “dame” for girlfriend. It’s a dialect thing I guess.

rikudou,
@rikudou@lemmings.world avatar

Yep, sounds weird for me as well. We have separate words for boyfriend and girlfriend, but those have a kinda deeper meaning*, using “girl” and “friend” to describe someone who’s really close to me is extremely weird. Like, the days she could be called a “girl” are in the past and calling her the same term as I call for example my work friends is just weird. So in my language I do use the equivalent of “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”, but almost never in English.

  • The word comes from a word for close friend and nowadays basically isn’t used to mean “friend” anymore. I mean, it still does, but no one uses it that way. And even then it signifies some deeper connection between people compared to our more common word for “friend”.
scubbo,

Personally I (a straight person) use it in an attempt to normalize the term, so that people who want to conceal the gender of their partner have plausible deniability. If all straight people say “girlfriend/boyfriend”, then anyone saying “partner” is outed as “a non-straight person trying to conceal the fact”.

EDIT: but also, it connotes a deeper level of trust, support, intimacy, etc. A “girlfriend” is some chick I fool around and have some fun with; a “partner” is someone with whom I’m building a life together.

NoIWontPickaName,

I understand the gender thing that is why i added significant other in there

MBM,

Significant other sounds so nuch more clinical to me. Language is weird

AnarchistArtificer,

I’m bi, but my appearance is pretty queer coded such that cis-het people tend to read me as “unclear gay or just tech-nerd punk”. I’ve found that when I use the word partner, it can throw people off because they’re clearly fishing for my partner’s gender in a “I can’t tell whether this person is straight or gay” way. Most of the people I’ve dated have been men, but I do like the chaos energy of the confusion

alan,
@alan@im-in.space avatar

@NoIWontPickaName @scubbo As someone with a non-binary partner, thank you for your service

MajorHavoc,

I do the same, and started for the same reasons.

To me it feels like a simple enough courtesy.

Though I’ll admit now that I also really appreciate the additional privacy provided by the habit, now that I have it.

Gsus4, (edited )
@Gsus4@feddit.nl avatar

It’s fine, we’re all “users” here with 0 or more “partners”. Partners are second degree users who occasionally are first degree users too.

AnarchistArtificer,

I find it interesting to hear you say this, to me, partner feels like quite a warm term. I think probably because for me, I associate the word partner with a sort of “levelling up” of a relationship, where you’re not just two people dating, but two people in a partnership to help each other be the best they can be.

I do agree that it feels clunky sometimes though. I was catching up with a friend recently who paused just before the word “partner” every time. I pointed it out and we laughed at the relatable awkwardness of not feeling like you have a correct word when “girlfriend” doesn’t fit. He said that partner didn’t feel right either, but it was the closest he could find.

I don’t recall ever hearing significant other irl, though I do sometimes see it online as SO. To me, that feels more clunky than partner.

MajorHavoc,

I use gender neutral terms for my partner when posting online because anyone who thinks they need to know my or their gender for our anonymous online interaction is probably someone who I would prefer not know that detail of my life.

As a bonus, I provide some safety-in-normalcy for others who would actually get treated worse were there situation known.

pythonoob,

God my wife would just stare at me and then go on with her previous conversation.

dot20,

Oof

jelloeater85,
@jelloeater85@lemmy.world avatar

Same 😆

victron,
@victron@programming.dev avatar

My wife would just kiss me so I stfu

lord_ryvan,

Same, and I don’t mind

victron,
@victron@programming.dev avatar

Me neither lol I know when I start nerding out and thank her for putting up with it

KingJalopy,

She’s literally the person in this meme

ParsnipWitch,
@ParsnipWitch@feddit.de avatar

My boyfriend is completely technically illiterate haha. But he’s such a good boy otherwise

cybermass,

Gotta keep that one around

writeblankspace,

if only all my friends were like that

They definitely tolerate my nerdiness, but they just don’t get it, even after an explanation.

douglasg14b,
@douglasg14b@lemmy.world avatar

So, essentially, really poorly written malware? Given the number of assumptions it makes without any sort of robustness around system configuration it’s about as good as any first-pass bash script.

It’d be a stretch to call it malware, it’s probably an outright fabrication to call it a virus.

DrinkBoba,

This is… clearly a meme…

Knusper,

I wasn’t sure about it either. There’s security researchers out there who might genuinely want to get a virus to run in a VM.

But yeah, the cmalw-lib-2.0 gives it away…

BloodSlut,

Yeah, nobody uses cmalw-lib-2.0

Its deprecated, now we use hack-lib-client-1.17

deadbeef79000,

systemd-malwared and its front-end malctl are how the cool kids are doing it.

BloodSlut,

systemd haters will moan and groan about ‘bloat’ and ‘unnecessary end-user hacking libraries’ smh

chocobo13z,

Not too long ago, when Fracturiser was a concern on Minecraft, and I read up on it, I got a chuckle when I read that stage 2 was a systemd service, and therefore couldn’t have run on my machine even if it had gotten that far (of course, I still checked for signs of infection)

Zagorath,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

I wasn’t sure about it either

It ends with them donating money to the malware’s creator…

Knusper,

Yes, that is odd, but not impossible either. I’ve seen influencers do dumb shit like that for the attention.

excel,
@excel@lemmy.megumin.org avatar

So you’re saying it’s about as robust as a typical Linux application then?

RaivoKulli,

Packagers job to make it fit their distro, innit?

Revolutionary_Pi,

“It works on my machine”

Anticorp,

He said the thing!

makingStuffForFun,
@makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml avatar

I think it was a fun post about what we go through sometimes just to get X or Y working. It was quite clever.

Isthisreddit,

I know your shitposting, but I used to run into shit like this all the time back when I used to try to run Loki software games on Linux back in the day. Within 6 months all the games I had were un-fucking-runnable.

It’s still a thing now depending how crazy you want to get with your system (let’s pretend you don’t run Linux on an x86 system for example - good luck lol)

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