nottheonion

This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

fosiacat, in Mike Johnson Admits He and His Son Monitor Each Other's Porn Intake in Resurfaced Video

god these people are fucking weird. so fucking weird.

Illuminostro, (edited )

This is what happens when you’re brainwashed from childhood to believe you’re born evil, anyone not on your “team” is more evil, and you must blindly obey authority.

fosiacat,

yep.

chemical_cutthroat,
@chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world avatar

Organized religion destroys who we are or who we can be by inhibiting our actions and decisions out of fear of an intangible parent-figure who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says “No, no!”

–Kevin Smith, Dogma

MajorHavoc,

Great quote. I can’t talk about Dogma without bringing up that time that Kevin Smith participated in a protest of his own film.

Among the sign-waving attendees was Smith himself, making absolutely not the slightest effort to disguise his appearance or voice.

“I don’t think [Dogma] stands for anything positive,” - Kevin Smith, being interviewed by a news reporter while cheerfully participating in a protest of his film, Dogma.

avclub.com/back-in-1999-kevin-smith-joined-the-pr…

Teon,
@Teon@kbin.social avatar

You spelled weird wrong.
It's spelled, *psycho.

jimbo,

I remember this kind of stuff back from my days as an evangelical Christian…they applaud this kind of nonsense, even though every single one of the users of this kind of software has some way around it. Purity culture craziness.

ultratiem, in Mike Johnson Admits He and His Son Monitor Each Other's Porn Intake in Resurfaced Video
@ultratiem@lemmy.ca avatar
Zahille7,

What the hell is this perfect picture?

ultratiem,
@ultratiem@lemmy.ca avatar

IKR!!!

Sanctus, in Mike Johnson Admits He and His Son Monitor Each Other's Porn Intake in Resurfaced Video
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

As a parent, thats just some shit you don’t wanna know. Like idgaf if its furry or scat shit keep it to yourself, kid.

pete_the_cat, (edited )

deleted_by_moderator

  • Loading...
  • Nurse_Robot,

    Sounds like it’s a good thing you don’t have kids, but you also might change your priorities if and when you have them

    Summzashi,

    Nah fuck that. Furry hate is always acceptable

    Serinus,

    How is it that furry gets scorn, but scat skates right by without comment?

    PsychedSy,

    It’s not as much fun to make fun of Germans as it is to say fursecution.

    Summzashi,

    You can try to distract me all you want but I will remain focused on hating furries.

    rbos,
    @rbos@lemmy.ca avatar

    Ugh, let people enjoy things. As fetishes go, furry is way down the harm scale.

    Summzashi,

    Fuck you furry. Go yiff in hell.

    rbos,
    @rbos@lemmy.ca avatar

    Aren’t you a treat.

    Summzashi,

    At least I’m not a degenerate.

    pete_the_cat, (edited )

    They’re both fucked up, but at least scat porn is two (or more) humans not humans dressed as animals fucking each other.

    Furries are just fucking weird, man. Some things just shouldn’t be normalized.

    LowtierComputer,

    Says “Pete the cat”

    pete_the_cat,

    I’m not saying I would hate them or disown them or anything, just that it would bother me. It’s like, what if you found out that your kids watched midget amputee scat porn? Would you be like “ok that’s normal, carry on!”?

    Nurse_Robot,

    I would remember why I already knew that I never wanted to know what porn my kids watch. I would only have a problem with abusive types of porn, that would require a talk about consent, respect and boundaries.

    swope, in Mike Johnson Admits He and His Son Monitor Each Other's Porn Intake in Resurfaced Video
    @swope@kbin.social avatar

    Is porn intake measured in sieverts or mW/cm² or what?

    What level is considered safe?

    Asking for a friend.

    pete_the_cat,

    Npps aka Naked People Per Second

    ironhydroxide,

    Not to be confused with NiPS. (Nipples per second) Which indicates how many definitely female nipples are in view per second. This is a better metric as many scenes are shown with partial clothing and therefore don’t get counted in the NPPS metric correctly.

    Damaskox,
    @Damaskox@lemmy.world avatar

    I come to think about ajph (arousal jumps per hour) 🤔

    MudSkipperKisser,

    The equivalent of 3 McDonald’s cheeseburgers consumed in their playground ball pit per week

    runeko,
    @runeko@programming.dev avatar

    Pretty sure it’s millipervs.

    TomAwsm,

    With this guy, it’s more like megapervs.

    quinkin,

    I think the SI unit is faps but the Americans still use yanks.

    WUPHF,
    Imbrex, in Mike Johnson Admits He and His Son Monitor Each Other's Porn Intake in Resurfaced Video

    Wtf how is the onion supposed to keep up with this shit

    Neato,
    @Neato@kbin.social avatar

    By waiting until people are used to their shit and posting completely normal stories about them. No one would believe them.

    Fal,
    @Fal@yiffit.net avatar
    pete_the_cat,

    "Republican has a change of heart when their 12 year old daughter gets pregnant, now supports abortion. "

    SomeoneSomewhere,

    No, I think that one’s fairly common. So is just “Republican gets pregnant, now supports abortion - but only for her specific circumstances”.

    BigDaddySlim,
    @BigDaddySlim@lemmy.world avatar

    “Rules for thee but not for me”

    runner_g,

    The only moral abortion is my abortion

    A long read but relevant just as much today as it was 23 years ago when published.

    reflex, in Mike Johnson Admits He and His Son Monitor Each Other's Porn Intake in Resurfaced Video
    @reflex@kbin.social avatar

    he installed “accountability software” called Covenant Eyes on his devices in order to abstain from internet porn

    Covenant Eyes sounds like some Handmaid's Tale shit.

    Fester,

    Under his eye.

    reflex,
    @reflex@kbin.social avatar

    Under his eye.

    Praise be.

    Serinus,

    Hey, I have a local cult that uses that software.

    www.dwellchurchcolumbusisacult.com

    They also like to pack a bunch of students into one apartment and then charge each of them $700*/month in rent.

    *(Don’t take my word on the numbers.)

    Salix,

    Oh wow, I didn’t know Xenos Church changed their name. Trying to mask themselves with a name change.

    Serinus,

    They also use a bunch of other names for smaller groups that are really part of Xenos. They know the reputation follows them.

    bus_go_fast,

    It must be so easy to con right wing religious fanatics.

    Serinus, (edited )

    Their tactics are pretty good and could get a lot of people, really. They do what’s called “love bombing”. One of them will befriend you, and invite you somewhere. You won’t realize you’re being targeted for recruitment. For that outing, the goal of nearly everyone there will be to make sure YOU are having a good time and feel accepted.

    They’ll try to draw you in deeper, maybe try to get you to go to a Bible study (even if you aren’t religious.) If you have other friends, they’ll either try to draw them in with you, or they’ll do what they can to distance you from them. Even something as simple as hearing you have plans and then inviting you somewhere else on that day.

    Eventually they’ll push a little harder on trying to get you to conform. If that goes well, they’ll try to get you to move in. At that point it’s a lot harder to extract yourself. They’ll try to keep you so busy with activities that you don’t have time for anything else.

    During all this, they’ll try to get you to share personal things. It’s okay to talk about your sins, that’s how you get past them.

    Past that point, if you try to extract they’ll start to use those things against you. Did you tell them about child abuse or pictures or something about a boyfriend/girlfriend? As discouragement from dissidence, they’ll hold meetings where they discuss those things as a topic. They have spyware on your phone at this point, so they may share anything embarrassing there they can find. They’ll threaten to tell your parents all the sins you’ve admitted.

    It’s pretty insidious.

    bus_go_fast,

    How could anyone be so evil. That’s fucking crazy.

    figaro,

    I swear, every week I see an article that makes me say, “oh shit, The Handmaid’s Tale is starting”

    yildo,

    Next step up from using confession material for blackmailing parishioners

    Stanard, in Man Gets 100 Years for Accidentally Killing His 8-Year-Old Daughter While Trying to Shoot His 18-Year-Old Son

    A quote from the judge according to the article:

    “I just can’t believe being evicted would justify picking up a handgun in that small of a space with children present”

    What I find particularly concerning about this is that this implies that being evicted would justify picking up a handgun provided you’re not in an enclosed space with children present. Why in the actual fuck would there be any further qualification after “I just can’t believe being evicted would justify picking up a handgun”. Full stop. You’re being evicted. You fucked up. Firearms don’t belong in that conversation at all with the only possible exception I can think of being if you are being directly and illegally threatened with a firearm.

    Ugh.

    Godnroc,

    Another way to look it at is that there are situations in which picking up a handgun in a small space with children present is justified; however, being evicted is not one of them.

    qnick,
    @qnick@lemmy.world avatar

    Isn’t that the story of Palestine?

    stolid_agnostic,

    I can fully see your inference, but don’t believe that the judge meant it that way. This was more lamenting the senselessness of the entire situation.

    dangblingus,

    They were just listing all of the reasons why it was a bad idea, not qualifying each reason as “okay if the other ones didn’t occur”.

    phorq,

    Look, if it’s an enclosed space with children present it’s okay as long as the rent has been paid in full.

    pomodoro_longbreak,
    @pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Agree to disagree

    Sabre363, in Drunk Grizzlies Keep Getting Hit By Trains In Montana

    Of course it’s Montana

    Meho_Nohome,
    @Meho_Nohome@sh.itjust.works avatar

    They only live in Montana, Wyoming, and Idaho, so there’s a 33.3% chance of it being in Montana.

    TheGreenGolem,

    No, it’s 50%. They either live in Montana or not.

    Meho_Nohome,
    @Meho_Nohome@sh.itjust.works avatar

    By that logic, every person has a 50% chance of living in Antarctica. Either they live there, or they don’t. Hell, every sports team has a 50% chance of winning a championship. Either they win one, or they don’t. Every person has a 50% chance of becoming president of North Korea too.

    I could go on, but I’m already bored.

    wildginger,

    Of course you got bored, rattling off statistical facts like that

    Sconrad122,

    Idk about of course, I wouldve pegged it at about a 50/50

    Meho_Nohome,
    @Meho_Nohome@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Rattling off complex statistics like that is my life.

    TheGreenGolem,

    Every one of your examples are correct.

    Sigh. It was obviously a joke.

    PrincessLeiasCat, in Mike Johnson Admits He and His Son Monitor Each Other's Porn Intake in Resurfaced Video

    Ok, how many burner phones does he have?

    Isoprenoid,

    Dude, I’m willing to bet the son has at least one.

    “I’m proud to tell ya, my son has got a clean slate.”

    A quote like this tempts fate. I thought he was trying to avoid temptation.

    IvanOverdrive, in Mike Johnson Admits He and His Son Monitor Each Other's Porn Intake in Resurfaced Video

    There is no normal, only weird and weirder. Beware the normies, for they are least normal of us all.

    foggy, in Drunk Grizzlies Keep Getting Hit By Trains In Montana

    Well who is over serving them?

    -department of liquor control, probably.

    NumbersCanBeFun,
    @NumbersCanBeFun@kbin.social avatar

    From the article:

    Since 1980, 63 grizzlies have been hit by trains and killed along a section of railroad near Glacier National Park. Many died because they got drunk on fermented grain spilled from railcars and couldn’t move fast enough to outrun the trains.

    Janoose, (edited ) in Mike Johnson Admits He and His Son Monitor Each Other's Porn Intake in Resurfaced Video
    @Janoose@kbin.social avatar

    I get that lots of jokes are to be made about the porn part but what really should be concerning everyone is that the current Speaker of the House pays a third party to snoop on every aspect of his phone.

    Was he using his personal phone for any of his duties in Congress?

    Is he still using this phone with even more potentially secret government information as a member of the Gang of 8?

    This is a MASSIVE security risk, who the fuck knows what information this Covenant Eyes “company” is now privy to.

    ETA: From a Wired article from Sept 2022: https://www.wired.com/story/covenant-eyes-anti-porn-accountability-monitoring-apps/

    "But Covenant Eyes and Accountable2You do much more than just police pornography. When WIRED downloaded, decompiled, and tested Covenant Eyes and Accountable2You, we found that both apps are built to collect, monitor, and report all sorts of innocent behavior. The applications exploited Android’s accessibility permissions to monitor almost everything someone does on their phone. While the accessibility functionalities are meant to help developers build out features that assist people with disabilities, these apps take advantage of such permissions to either capture screenshots of everything actively being viewed on the device or detect the name of apps as they’re being used and record every website visited in the device’s browser."

    Emphasis mine. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Dude has this software on every one of his devices and now the Christofascists behind Covenant Eyes and any one willing to hack them, ie foreign governments, has screenshots of everything he is viewing. Massive massive security risk.

    cricket98,

    What a made up concern lol. He would just use a different phone.

    Janoose,
    @Janoose@kbin.social avatar

    What is your source for this?

    Should he? Absolutely, his personal phone with this tracking software should never be anywhere near the Capitol.

    Dude doesn’t even have a bank account, show everyone the proof that he’s actually using a different, secure phone. Never assume Republicans are doing what’s secure, there is absolutely no proof that they do.

    Kbobabob,

    Lol, that would completely defeat the purpose. He absolutely used the same phone.

    wildginger,

    He would? Or he did?

    If he uses a second phone, does that not immediately undermine the point of showing his porn to his son? Since any secret porn his son would tattle to god about he would just watch on the second phone, yes?

    This is a pretty massive concern. He keeps US secrets for fucks sake.

    guacupado,

    Once upon a time I didn’t think a president would hide classified documents in a bath tub or Tweet to the entire world our satellite surveillance capabilities, yet here we are.

    TheDoctorDonna,

    Covenant Eyes is what Anna Duggar was using to keep Josh Duggar accountable. He’s been in jail for like a year now for CSAM. Pretty sure C.E. is just a data mining operation that uses fundie fear to make money.

    bus_go_fast,

    oh yes, Josh Duggar. Another right wing hero. Matt Walsh’s best friend.

    FlashMobOfOne, in Mike Johnson Admits He and His Son Monitor Each Other's Porn Intake in Resurfaced Video
    @FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world avatar

    Mike Johnson is a walking argument for voting against 70+ year-old geriatrics who can’t string together coherent sentences.

    All it takes is one exceedingly unlucky accident and that motherfucker becomes president.

    Lord_Logjam,

    It’s a bit bonkers that the way the American system works can so easily result in a president who is a member of the other party.

    FlashMobOfOne,
    @FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world avatar

    That’s by design, sadly.

    And not only that, a majority of voters seem perfectly content with it.

    csolisr, in Mike Johnson Admits He and His Son Monitor Each Other's Porn Intake in Resurfaced Video

    So what you’re telling me is, that Johnson and his little Johnson measure the usage of each other’s Johnsons?

    mysoulishome, in Bored ape NFT event attendees get their faces burned by event lighting
    @mysoulishome@lemmy.world avatar

    I was thinking Concerned Ape, the dev of Stardew Valley…and I was concerned

    TheCheddarCheese,
    @TheCheddarCheese@lemmy.world avatar

    does he even host any events?

    mysoulishome,
    @mysoulishome@lemmy.world avatar

    No, but I barely recall what bored ape is or how it is culturally relevant…which is why I thought of it

    mateomaui,

    how it is culturally relevant

    It’s a fine example of modern idiocy.

    joel_nio,

    if you give relevancy to idiocy, it’s not my problem

    mateomaui,

    What is with all the “not my problem” replies all of a sudden. This is a sad troll effort.

    bh64,

    what do you mean? I haven’t seen one myself yet. It’s just a common expression.

    I don’t think that comment is trolling, just a bit low effort post. But that’s nothing rare in Lemmy/Reddit.

    mateomaui,

    I have received something like 5 different replies to separate replies of my own, from new accounts with only one comment, all of which end with “not my problem.” It’s almost like a bot keyed off that phrase from my reply in a privacy community post, or there are some butthurt people with too much time on their hands.

    bh64,

    It sounds like a weirdly specific thing for a bot to do.

    It could be a case of the Baader–Meinhof phenomenon:

    Frequency illusion, also known as the Baader–Meinhof phenomenon or frequency bias, is a cognitive bias referring to the tendency to notice something more often after noticing it for the first time, leading to the belief that it has an increased frequency of occurrence.The illusion is a result of increased awareness of a phrase, idea, or object – for example, hearing a song more often or seeing red cars everywhere.

    mateomaui, (edited )

    I was just informed that someone is following me around downvoting everything, which is hilarious since my instance has downvotes disabled. It’s definitely some idiot or a group of them.

    edit: also, its adorable that you suggest it’s all in my head, it’s not. I have the receipts. And the fact they are all coming from new accounts with only the one comment each is pretty obvious.

    bh64,

    Oh that’s bad. Good luck getting rid of them.

    I personally find downvotes useful because there are a lot of low quality comments and content. Downvotes help me (and others) to avoid seeing them. Thus not wasting time with uninteresting posts or comments. But you aren’t supposed to downvote everything that someone says.

    mateomaui,

    Not that bad, the block feature works great.

    I place zero value on downvotes because they’re used as a weapon, such as right now for me if my instance actually logged them, or as a harassment strat against lgtbq individuals, etc, and they have the potential and often do hide perfectly valid solutions in help threads because someone suggested an unorthodox method for a specific case that gets downvoted to oblivion because that solution didn’t toe the line with everyone else’s preferred one.

    So feel free to engage with that, I’m not.

    evranch,

    Sorry pal I’m gonna have to give you a downvote for this, lol.

    Downvotes are incredibly valid. They mean “not only do I not approve of this content, I think it’s actively bad”. Simply not upvoting and moving on is the shrug of the internet. I probably give out 50x the upvotes as I do downvotes, but when I do serve one up it’s usually because the comment outright promotes misinformation.

    Look at the current state of YouTube sans downvotes. You used to be able to look at the ratio to tell if a video wasn’t even worth looking at. Now, you see oh, 100k people liked this. But what if 200k disliked it and it’s actually hot garbage? Oh, we’ll never know!

    Removing downvotes is just an attempt to drive “engagement” over quality, part of the downward slide of the internet.

    Note: I didn’t actually give you the downvote, lol. A valid discussion or debate should not earn a downvote. I don’t agree with your take, but it’s not trash.

    mateomaui,

    I’m not reading all that, congrats on having some opinion.

    evranch,

    And you wonder why your comments are collecting downvotes.

    mateomaui,

    I don’t wonder at all because I don’t see downvotes or care about them, advantages of being on a downvote disabled server. Y’all can circle jerk and I can ignore it.

    superduperenigma,

    how it is culturally relevant

    That’s the neat part: it isn’t.

    roguetrick,

    Ditto, after that talk about the TV show. I was like man, how far has he fallen.

    mysoulishome,
    @mysoulishome@lemmy.world avatar

    I think if he sold NFT’s I would just about lose all faith in mankind. Now when the hell is haunted chocolatier coming…

    Catoblepas,

    Selling NFTs is some JojaMart shit. Concerned Ape would never.

    mysoulishome,
    @mysoulishome@lemmy.world avatar

    Exactly

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • random
  • uselessserver093
  • Food
  • aaaaaaacccccccce
  • [email protected]
  • test
  • CafeMeta
  • testmag
  • MUD
  • RhythmGameZone
  • RSS
  • dabs
  • Socialism
  • KbinCafe
  • TheResearchGuardian
  • Ask_kbincafe
  • oklahoma
  • feritale
  • SuperSentai
  • KamenRider
  • All magazines