Is queer an equivalent substitute for lgbtq(...)+?

Wahots, 9 months ago

I use queer when referring to a bunch of different sexual or gendered people (eg, some bi people, lesbians, an asexual person, etc etc). I use LGBT+ or simply LGBT when in contexts that include audiences of all orientations including straight, to not create confusion. LGBT+ includes everyone without being excessive imo. The only ones I see doing more than 4-5 chars anyways are usually straight or straight-facing entities (eg, groups, news stations, etc) referring to us as an entire collective. To me, going for 7+ chars in an article feels kinda like unintentional pinkwashing, but maybe that’s just me x3

retronautickz, 9 months ago

Yes and no. LGBT and it’s variations are “neutral”, while queer has a strong anti-assimilationist meaning behind. Queer also can easily represent uncommon or complex identities/orientations that aren’t (easily) represented by the acronym

OttoVonGoon, 10 months ago

I use “queer person” and “queer folk” as I find it sounds softer than just “queer” and also serves to differentiate it from bigots use of the word.

Blahaj_Blast, 9 months ago

I suppose that is how I typically do it, but haven’t consciously put it together that the noun sounds worse and the adjective does not.

araly, 10 months ago

i never say lgbt, it feels heavy, especially with the full lgbtqia (I already don’t know what can come after)

i use gay for any kind of not straight sexuality, and queer to me also includes trans stuff, ace, aro…

we’re not cis and or straight, we’re queer

Franzia, 10 months ago

I use queer as short for genderqueer, but I use gay as short for lgbtq (minus the ia+ in this case) and I do respect and understand if someone does the opposite and uses queer as the blanket term for lgbtqia+, that’s fine. When I was growing up and it was LGBT, queer was usually conaidered an insult (as kids we played Smear the Queer, which probably helped me come out of the closet tbh) But it’s literally in the acronym now. It’s not a hateful word, but could be used hatefully on a rare occasion.

Blahaj_Blast, 10 months ago

Oooooo I remember that game… 😬

emma, 10 months ago

I’m part of the We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it generation, so for me it will always include everyone, even if fashions change.

mooncabbage, 10 months ago

The term queer is confusing to me because within the community there has been pushback on using it and I’m not totally sure what it’s supposed to mean. I’m a cis woman, but I’m attracted to anyone, but mostly women, but sometimes not men at all, and it seems to change so I can’t pin down what I am and I don’t love the boxes I’ve been given. The terms don’t feel right so I say queer just because it’s so much easier. I’m not sure this helps to answer your question but just wanted to share my experience, I’m curious if anyone else uses queer in a similar way as a cisgender person?

Zuberi, 10 months ago

Queer is a blanket term for “none of your business” imo. If they inquire further they might be an ally, but otherwise it’s easier to disengage

Blahaj_Blast, 10 months ago

I kind of like that angle. It feels a little like the original jab has been turned all the way around to jab the other way.

reverendsteveii, 10 months ago

This is an organic development from a global community. Neither I nor anyone else speak for the community, definitions will not be universally accepted and they will change over time. Being said, “queer” was initially a term of exclusion. It meant anything other than “normal” (where normal was defined by the oppressors as cisgendered, heterosexual, and heteroromantic). I seet was, at the time, intended in a negative way. When I use it now, I keep the denotation and invert the connotation. Why yes, I am absolutely not cisgendered, heterosexual and heteroromantic. I’m something other than those three things in combination and I’m owning it. I like queer because it automatically expands to include new ways of being as they’re discovered. When I was a kid I knew I wasn’t straight because women turned me on and men turned me on. So i went with "bi”. Now I’m in a relationship with a trans person. That kinda means “bi” doesn’t fit, or at least my understanding of it at the time didn’t. I could’ve moved to pansexual but, frankly, I didn’t feel like it and a lot of people use bi to mean “hetero and not-hetero” rather than “man or woman” or “gay or straight”. So that’s a second time my sexuality, or my understanding of it, has shifted. Then I discovered the concept of demisexuality. Understanding myself better is, of course, a big plus but that means I’m now a straightbisexual because I like men and women anyone potentially regardless of gender but I’m also demi. It gets really complex, so I just say “queer” and then am willing to address any confusion that arises from that as well.

As far as leaving letters out of the LGBTOMFGLMAOBBQ+ acronym goes, I’ve not run into anyone who took that as an intentional slight other than with the Aunt Toms in the “drop the T” movement that wants to exclude gender queer people from the queer movement. Unless you’re intentionally trying to divide the community by excluding people, the myriad subgenres of queer including those that haven’t been discovered or popularized yet are what the q and the plus are for.

Zuberi, 10 months ago

Simplify the Rainbow Mafia titles imo

Edit: for the normies

Zuberi, 10 months ago

I was in college (huge transphobe) and had a gender studies major sit me and some other students down for a 1.5 hour lesson

To my knowledge, queer can be used as a blanket term for “not-cis but it’s none of your fucking business.” At least this is how I use it anyway

Edit: The term might also help reduce violence against the lgbt. The current issue with cons and some libs is that they seem to think it’s alllllllllllll about talking about sex. A term like queer implies but doesn’t explicitly give details. Should they feel comfortable being fully out? 100%. Is that the safest move in the American christofascist-hellscape? Likely not yet :(

Zevlen, 10 months ago

deleted_by_author

Zuberi, 10 months ago

I don’t disagree. Pandering to the dirtbags is dumb as fuck socially, but smart as fuck tactically. Rainbow Mafia will need to strike when they least expect it

Blahaj_Blast, 10 months ago

I think because so much of it is sex-adjacent, they feel like you already brought that up as part of it instead of seeing multiple components of a topic. Definitely, they don’t think about it as much as we do so it’s a very different in their minds

chuso, 10 months ago

I like to see it that way, as an easy way to refer to everyone who doesn't fit within the cishet norm.
As others have mentioned, this used to be a derogatory term, so some people may still feel uncomfortable with it, but it has been reclaimed since then and I think nowadays we have long past the point where most people still see it as a derogatory word.
Also, it seems it annoys Graham Linehan, which is always a bonus: https://twitter.com/Glinner/status/1681657946529202182

Blahaj_Blast, 10 months ago

I love it honestly! Though, I do feel for the people that spent their lives hearing hurled as a slur. 😕

Millie, 10 months ago

Queer is great. It’s one syllable rather than four plus. And honestly, I think it comes off as a little more down to Earth.

ada, 10 months ago

The way I use it is that Queer is an opt in label that in some way is embracing the idea of rejecting societal cishet norms.

There are many LGBT folk that don’t identify with the word queer, and they are mostly folk who just want to blend in, live their life, and have people forget that they exist.

People who self label as queer though tend to want society to change to better fit us, they tend to be more vocal and open about rejecting the bullshit that society puts on us.

Blahaj_Blast, 10 months ago

Geez, I should’ve expected to see you here but I didn’t! I love how active you are!

Definitely I want society to accept me for me, but/and I want to blend in.

I want to be able to be me(whoever that is) and nobody to give a shit!

Slightly off topic, but do you know of any other queer or queer friendly or themed comminuties or whatever? I’m obvious from the blåhaj, but o ly subscribe to like 5 other places. I definitely want to find more queer/lgbtq… + friendly spaces to hang!

It’s been great! I have a few accounts across the fediverse, but have spent a lot of time in this zone lately.

ada, 10 months ago

The whole instance basically exists because I wanted a way of accessing lemmy communities back when lemmy was barely a thing. I’ve been active for a while now, and it just so happens that 6000 of my closest friends have joined the instance since then :P

As for other communities, the only other one I use is !transgender. There are more out there, lots of them memey, like egg_irl etc, but I’ve never really been part of those spaces.

Franzia, 10 months ago

Agreed. I identify with queer right now because I dress loudly and mix the gender of my clothing.

Nimfi, 10 months ago

I think it is! in fact, in a way i think it’s a better word, it’s much more broad and inclusive and personally i like it more due to it’s inherent “vagueness”.

1rre, 10 months ago

It depends on where you’re from and more so what you feel.

If you feel it’s an equivalent substitute, then it is for you and whoever else feels that way.

Personally I was brought up in the UK where queer in reference to LBGT (either as an insult or not) is largely an American loanword and if you asked the majority of people to define it they’d give you something along the lines of nauseas/slightly unwell or peculiar. That said, there are many Brits who identify as queer which is just as fine as people who identify as gay, which can mean either a masculine homosexual or a catch all LGBT+ term in British English but AFAIK is pretty much exclusively the former in the US?