There are far less radical feminist men in general because the movement actually wants to destroy the patriarchy and gender stereotypes, third wave ‘pickme girlboss show your tits to get ahead in capitalism’ feminism is far more paletable to the male gaze.
It’s like how Joe Biden’s leftwing ethos of screw the poor to pay rich capitalists and oil companies while making lipservice to vaguely progressive ideals (vaguely progressive in 1950) is popular because it’s fundamentally anti-change where as anyone that actually wants structural change is automatically marked as a dangerous extremist and shunned.
I’ve found that both TIRFs and TERFs do have a lot of understandable distrust and hostility towards men but are in general friendly to men who interact reasonably and take on board the things being said without making the normal kneejerk responses and ‘but won’t someone think of my pennis!’ arguments.
So yeah you’ll likely find guys in most radfem spaces, except of course those designated explicitly for some purpose. Though yes I do feel being a man in a radfem space is similar to being a woman in tech or occasionally even a woman playing online video games - without the sexual harassment of course, and far less vitriolic abuse.
I’m the groups I’ve been in I seen I’ve not seen abuse, I’ve seen people stating their opinions. It’s easy to pretend the people who disagree with you are monsters but that’s not reality.
You’re begging the question and putting words onto my mouth.
No I’m not a member of any transphobic hate groups, I have as I’ve said read groups expounding TIRF and TERF viewpoints. The groups I’ve been in as I stated have not included abuse, harassment, or insults. They’ve actually been very respectful and interesting communities with plenty of intelligent people discussing things in a friendly and polite manor.
As in said the assumption that anyone who doesn’t agree entirely with your opinion is a monster is easy to make but rarely true.
Oh yea, in like the 15 years online when people assume I’m a guy I don’t bother to correct anyone anymore. The default assumption is that everyone is a dude, no matter how pink your profile pic is.
The only exception is voice chat for obvious reasons but if you play online games with voice chat you only make the mistake of speaking a few times until you learn.
Dating is different for gay people? Since when? I’m gay and dating is a neverending slog of trying to find one decent functional adult in a sea of jackasses. How is this different?
Really? I have heard differently. I mean it’s true in the dating sense of searching for relationships. However if you are single I hear getting laid is waaaay easier. They just straight up ask and go. So I’m told. What the hell do I know?
However if you are single I hear getting laid is waaaay easier
It depends on the country you live in, really. I understand where you’re coming from with this idea. In my home country, it appears that gay people are more open about their relationships than heterosexual people. It’s a conservative country on this topic, but once I started traveling the world, I’ve come to learn that it’s not the truth.
This comment is so open ended… how is it not the truth? It’s a comparison… so do gay people get laid less in other countries, or so straight people get laid more?
It’s different in some ways. Most of my friends are gay and they have specific apps for specific things. It seems very straightforward to find people to hook up with, but that’s different than dating and looking for a relationship. Just like most people, many have various issues most likely stemming from society being lame about sexuality and such. They’ll find someone who seems entirely put together and then get slammed with issues relating to abandonment, insecurities about their masculinity, or crazy jealousy… So pretty much normal stuff.
That last part happened to my cousin. He dated a guy for a few years and everyone liked him a lot. After they got married, he let all the crazy out and became mentally and physically abusive. It apparently started pretty much immediately after marriage, but it took several years before anyone found out what was happening.
That’s pretty standard for any abusive relationship. The abuser usually waits until they feel like their partner can’t escape before they become awful.
I lived with gay roommates (three gay men, two were a couple one was single), and the single one took AGES to get ready. I’m talking he’d shower at 730, we’d ask what he was doing and he’d say he had a date then leave the house at fucking 930.
He didn’t wear make up or anything I have legitimately no fucking clue what he could’ve been doing for so long. The couple on the other hand, one took longer than the other but honestly they were both pretty fast get ready-ers.
Is it supposed to be the woman who takes a long time? Because I’m a guy and she’s always waiting for me. Not proud of this, but these stereotypes really don’t help.
I was in a gay relationship once and at like 9:00 at night my boyfriend turns to me and goes: “Do you want wings?!?”
I’m a bit shocked by the random question but go: “Hell yeah!” We jumped into the car, went to the wings place which closes at 9:30 mind you, got there at around 9:16, including driving. Like 9:27-9:45-ish, we’re back and have a huge plate of wings and sides, just eating like animals
So uh, it varies, but the possibility is definitely there for two men to have a tactical romantic excursion in record time XD
To me it doesn’t matter. Having worked in kitchens, we’re usually trying to get a head start on cleaning 15 minutes to close. I just think it’s rude to order that close to closing time.
I’m not american but aren’t wings usually precooked? Or is it not like that?
If you turn up to a chippy or fried chicken place just before closing time in the UK they sometimes give you extra food they would otherwise have to bin at the end of the night. I get why it’s annoying if you’d have to cook something fresh though.
As I understand it, most girls on the internet are in fact dudes out to scam poor simple thirsty motherfuckers like us, so “tits or gtfo” is simply a type of verification process to protect ourselves 😇
It was fun when I read a reddit story and at the end realize I was imagining the wrong gender. Then I would reread the story and it made a lot more sense, like a movie with a twist ending and flashbacks to previous scenes.
Unironically, enforce mandatory pronoun tags on Reddit then immediately give any cishet he/him a 3 day time out (was going to add on a bit going “the second he does X” but ngl, I think just a blanket temporary suspension approach would work way better until we figure this whole he/him thing out)
It was just a dumb joke, not something meant to be serious.
Take it like “kill all men” statements, when people say that they’re not suggesting a serious and coherent plan for the mass genocide of half the human population, they’re just venting frustration about men being dicks to them in their personal life
Some on both sides of that coin take it very seriously. Some think, “Yeah, all cishet men are shit!” And the others, who have seen that type of shit in person are like “Yo, wtf.”
Maybe I’m just a stick in the mud, but “jokes” like that are as funny as those who spout nazi bullshit or “kill trannys” or racist bullshit as “jokes” to me.
imo there’s a big difference between someone venting about a desire for racial supremacy over people they see as genetic inferiors born to serve them with an overblown provocative statement, and people venting about being frustrated with men being misogynistic creeps to them with an overblown provocative statement.
Especially since my original post wasn’t even saying “kill all men”, I just used it as an example, like, I don’t think that all cis men are bad, there are plenty of great ones, but I’ve had enough older cis men tell me how “incredibly r*peable” I look in DMs or send me unsolicited dick pics and stuff, and like had another one being a creep at me earlier today, that I was feeling more frustrated with them earlier. So forgive me for inserting some of my frustration into a comment barely anyone will see under some random meme.
Look, I wasn’t trying to be inflammatory or anything, just giving you my perspective on things.
Making a blanket statement against any group of individuals is bigotry. I’m sorry you have had bad experiences with some people, and I’m sure some racism can be stemmed from bad personal experiences as well.
I, too, have been told I am abusing my kids by the mere act of coming out as trans. I’ve been told to kill myself. I reported those messages on my profile to steam, and their accounts are still active.
I’ve been called a liar for telling my story, telling only the truth, because trans people are terrible, manipulative rapists in their eyes.
So, yes, I feel your pain. But don’t perpetuate the stereotypes about anyone, please.
Add comment