Is it normal for a person to "feel" less as they get older?

I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.

I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.

These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.

As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.

I’ve tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering… is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?

ComradePorkRoll,

Due to climate change, there are less roses to smell. You could just be coping with the fact that you are aware of more pressing issues nowadays.

Aceticon,

It’s do with living in the moment vs spending your time thinking about what you did or worrying about what the future might bring, IMHO.

We become way more prone to spend our time doing things like thinking about stuff we did (and how we miss it if it was good or could’ve done it better if it was bad) and worrying about what the future can bring (and not necessarily in grand terms: somethingas simple as “I have to get a haircut” which then goes one to “when will I have the time”, then “but I need that time for X” and so on) as we grow older.

You absolutelly can still have some moments of wonder (for things as simple as how a cobweb looks with droplets of morning mist on it) but you need to be present there in mind also, not just in body, and not to not let some memory or concern rush in to take your mental attention away from the now.

I had a point in my life with a ton of anxiety and ended up learning Mindfulness (which is simply to try and not say anything to yourself in your mind, which is surprisingly hard to do for more than a few seconds) to stop the feeling (if you’re not constantly looking back to something bad or fearing for something bad in the future you don’t feel anxious about those things) and as a side effect I ended up with the habit of being more often present in the moment and that’s how you just enjoy little wonders when you come across them.

Still, it’s nowhere at the level one has as a kid.

quadrotiles,

There is definitely nothing wrong with you. There’s a reason the phrase “childlike wonder” exists. It’s normal for the newness and novelty of everything to amaze a child, and it’s normal for experiences to become routine to adults. Even if you do experience something new, there’s a very good chance that it’s similar enough to something you’ve experienced before. Brains are designed to find patterns and relate things back to past experiences as part of a survival instinct.

But there is also nothing wrong with people who don’t have the experience I described above. The above experience is probably more common for people with neurotypical brains. I’ve never been able to relate to “not feeling” or “feeling less”, even though it seems to be quite common. My feelings are always a live wire, dialed up to 100 (and honestly, I’m over people - including doctors - telling me how nice that must be). But there’s nothing “wrong” with my brain. It just functions differently, with different strengths and weaknesses. It’s like comparing a car and a motorbike. They have different driving sensations, require different skill sets and safety precautions, but they’re both vehicles that will get you from A to B.

aaron_griffin,
@aaron_griffin@lemmy.world avatar

Are farts still funny? Then you’re good

aaron_griffin,
@aaron_griffin@lemmy.world avatar

For real though, you might be depressed. Talking to a therapist could help suss that out.

ElectricSleep,

That is an ingenius litmus test!

NukeminHerttua,
@NukeminHerttua@sopuli.xyz avatar

I’m sure it also has something to do with that when you get older, you’ve had those experiences many more times than as a child. They just don’t feel that specia anymore.l

anonymoose,
@anonymoose@lemmy.ca avatar

Wow, that rings brutal, but true. “Childlike wonder” is truly special.

aaron_griffin,
@aaron_griffin@lemmy.world avatar

This is also why days feel faster as you age. More repetition and your brain doesn’t need to form as much new memories.

Want to live longer? Experience more novelty!

Aloeofthevera,

Fully recommend the psychedelics BUT it’s not for everyone.

Practice mindfulness through meditation.

Psychedelics do what that does but does so through explosive force, lol.

Mindfulness is so fundamentally critical to feeling alive again. That breeze still exists. The sound of the cicadas buzzing away is still there. The scent of rain still permeates.

Meditation isn’t going “ohmmmmm🧘”. It’s a practice of clearing your mind, and living through your senses. Discerning your existence through means other than thought.

When you were a kid, you didn’t have the capacity to only think like you do now. You were jumping between thought and raw sensory analysis. You were both free and grounded through your senses.

It’s about finding a balance that as a kid you couldn’t obtain, and that as an adult you have forsaken.

Good luck friend. Just know that you can get back to that.

Edit: I’d like to add that you practice until it’s second nature, and you become much more aware as a result. You won’t need to stop to smell those roses - they will grab your attention.

karce,

Hey OP, a lot of people are suggesting psilocybin or other psychedelics. If you’re interested you can ask questions about that in the !magic community. I moderate it but there are psychonauts there that know about this stuff who are friendly and helpful.

mysoulishome,
@mysoulishome@lemmy.world avatar

Joining. The therapeutic ketamine sub was one I’d recently joined and enjoyed before snoopocalypse. I’m in.

VediusPollio,
@VediusPollio@lemmy.world avatar

My friend was wondering how someone else could even get a hold of mushrooms or spores in secret, without having to use the mail, if some other rando was crazy enough to consider microdosing?

fuckadmins,

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/099ba7c8-54bd-40f1-88c6-7bc091038696.webp

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/099ba7c8-54bd-40f1-88c6-7bc091038696.webp

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/099ba7c8-54bd-40f1-88c6-7bc091038696.webp

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/099ba7c8-54bd-40f1-88c6-7bc091038696.webp

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/099ba7c8-54bd-40f1-88c6-7bc091038696.webp

zabadoh,

If you read up on how our brains age, it’s basically pruning neuron branches. While this is a good thing up to a point, the pruning process continues well past our brains’ peak performance because evolution is done with you at that point, I.e. you had your kids by then.

theguardian.com/…/brain-tree-why-we-replenish-onl…

stephywephy88,

Everything felt wondrous to me after I got out of an abusive marriage bruised but alive. It’s not that I feel more, but the realization that I am able to feel at all amplifies the intensity of my positive feelings. Do you feel like you’re trapped in a rut at all? Or maybe you’ve convinced yourself that all the best moments have already past? Sending positive vibes to you!

gmate8,
@gmate8@lemmy.ml avatar

I think I get it what you mean… you are feeling like you are watching a tv show in your perspective, like you are not the one who acts, you are just watching? One of my friemds had a similar experience, please tell me if I understand it the wrong way.

H4Lambda,

That’s called having a derealization/depersonalisation crisis, not getting older lol.

Had that when I was 18, tell your friend to get checked

gmate8,
@gmate8@lemmy.ml avatar

Thanks for your help I’ll definately tell him

oldfart,

Try LSD. It’s like being a kid again.

vd1n,

Or mushrooms.

Ops not joking. It literally allows your brain to create new pathways instead of being stuck with the same boring bullshit that repeats in daily life.

Just make sure you dose right and teach yourself in a proper way instead of taking what some friend hands you to “tRiP bAlLzzz, mannn”. Treat it like medicine.

Tehgingey,

Couldn’t agree more, I use psychadelics a few times a year, and nothing brings be to that same feeling OP was describing like LSD or mushrooms. Some of the best conversations and experiences I’ve ever had agave been on psychedelics, I laugh till I cry almost everytime I’ve done them. have had bad trips in my life, but I feel like Set and Setting are hugley important as well as having respect for the drug. Overall highly recommend.

H3L1X,
@H3L1X@lemmy.ml avatar

I came here to say that as well. Or, as @vd1n says, mushrooms. It really helps remind you that the world is wondrous, and even after it’s over, it makes it easier to see the joy in everything.

oldfart,

I never did mushrooms and only did LSD like 5 times. But one time I contemplated the multitude of grass types when laying down on a meadow. Another time was on a short mountain trip, landed at a tourist shelter, there was a melody in all the kitchen noises. Also observing the tiny ecosystem at the riverside is something I will never forget. I don’t have this kind of patience or ability to being fascinated with the mundane normally.

systemglitch,

Things can’t be fresh and new(ish) experiences forever. Welcome to entropy of the mind. However, there are always more fresh experiences out there for you to marvel at, you just have to find them.

hare_ware,

Anhedonia?

DestroyerOfWorlds,
@DestroyerOfWorlds@lemmy.world avatar

Getting to the point in life where you realize how the sausage is made, packaged, marketed, distributed, sold, cooked, consumed, digested, defecated, flushed, mixed with other waste, and either separated into solids and liquids or dumped into the ocean will do that to you.

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