Messed up things a doctor did to you or someone you know? / Bad experiences with doctors

Today I spoke to a coworker who had bad experiences with doctors and was seeking recommendations for a new one, then other coworkers chimed in, and so I decided to ask you guys as well. Well, not for a doctor recommendation, but about your bad experienced with doctors?

I’m gonna spoiler mine, because it makes me very uncomfortable, so perhaps it may make someone else very uncomfortable.

uncomfortableI had a doctor who had no business in it make me show my intimate parts (I’m intersex) and she touched them. She was curious, I guess…? She’s a psychiatrist, so, again, literally 0 business doing so. I already have trauma from regular people who treat me like a circus display, I really had no need for someone with systemic power over me using it like that… No, I didn’t report this. I was a teenager and barely functioning at the time. :/

xmunk,

My wife, going through peri-menopause, was told (after reporting extremely low energy, increased migraines, and low libido) by her doctor that he wasn’t comfortable doing any hormonal supplements until a year after menopause was confirmed finished. That could potentially be up to a decade later.

Women’s health comprehension is fucking embarrassing… if you were AFAB and have any sort of hormonal or abdominal issues, please see a fucking specialist immediately. Most GPs/Family Doctors are absolutely fucking clueless.

tetrachromacy,

If you can, try to get in and see an endocrinologist. They specialize in hormones and their effects on the body.

I saw one with my partner for her specific issues and it’s made a big difference in quality of care. For one, the endo actually listens to her and works with us to find the problem. Experiences may differ but a specialist is the right path, if you’re able to see one. Hope you get a chance to - it took us months to get an appointment with one near us, but it’s been worth it so far.

Appoxo,
@Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

The fact thar your wife went to a GP instead of going directly to a women health doctor is an interesting choice to me as a german.
Afaik (am male) women go for everything related to down there and related to the specialised women doctor. GP is for and to treat general illnesses like a cold, vaccination shots, health questions or to transfer to another specialist like cardiologist, neurology, etc. so you can get an appointment.

ellabee,

then the correct answer from the Dr should’ve been a referral to a gyno, not “that shouldn’t be treated yet in my medical opinion”.

and she may not have realized it was perimenopause when she went to the Dr. fatigue and migraines alone could easily sap libido and be completely unrelated to anything “down there”.

Appoxo,
@Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Totally agreed. Should have been referred.
But I’m no doctor and didn’e experience the whole story.

son_named_bort,

I had an issue where food would get stuck while eating. It wasn’t chocking, as I was still able to breathe. It was more like the food would slowly make its way to my stomach and sometimes it would come back up. I told my doctor at the time, but he dismissed it as me eating too fast. So I tried to eat slower and just dealt with it. Several years pass and I got married and moved away and thus ended up with a new doctor. My wife asked me to ask the new doctor about my condition, and I told her that he would probably dismiss it, which is what ended up happening. That doctor ended up leaving the practice (which I wasn’t too upset about) and I ended up with a new doctor. The new doctor seemed more receptive to what I had to say, but I was reluctant to tell her about it since I’ve had two doctors dismiss me already. My wife again asked me to ask the new doctor about it, and this time I was taken seriously. The doctor set me up with a specialist and I had a procedure done that pretty much fixed my problem and now I can eat without having my food get stuck.

Lamb,

Happy that you got the problem sorted out eventually! Livid the doctor denied you the help you needed. :(

Lifecoach5000,

Was it getting stuck in your esophagus? If so, I have a similar condition. I have to make sure I chew my food into a fine paste before I swallow.

DudeDudenson,

Sounds like you’ll never have trouble losing weight

Lifecoach5000,

It sucks. If I get a dense piece of food lodged in there, I can’t get any fluids down and will start to just regurgitate anything I drink or eat. It feels like the worst heartburn in the world mixed with nausea until it gets dislodged.

vivadanang,

sounds like a hiatal hernia - my dad suffered with the same thing for years.

DudeDudenson, (edited )

I know, it was a joke

Lifecoach5000,

I did still laugh lol. Sorry I took the serious turn there

son_named_bort,

That’s what was happening. It didn’t happen all the time, but it was still annoying when it happened. Certain foods seemed to be worse than others. The procedure I had basically widen the esophagus, making it easier for the food to go down.

daisy,
@daisy@hexbear.net avatar

“It’s not whooping cough. Sure, you have all the symptoms of whooping cough and live in an area with an active whooping cough outbreak, doesn’t matter, I don’t think it’s whooping cough.”

multiple visits later in a single week as symptoms worsen

“Fine, here’s a prescription for amoxicillin, you hypochondriac, but I don’t think it will do anything for you.”

whooping cough clears up completely

I do trust medical science but that experience was easily the worst of my adult life. Whooping cough is no joke, folks.

Mothra,
@Mothra@mander.xyz avatar

What, you say it worked? Aaaah, see, it was placebo effect

You can’t win…

neshura,
@neshura@bookwormstory.social avatar

I guess the problem with modern medicine usually isn’t that treatment is unavailable but that the person in front of you is too arrogant or incompetent to properly diagnose that treatment is needed and which treatment would work best.

GrayBackgroundMusic,

I was having some unusual medical issues and went to a doctor recommended by a friend. They seemed OK. I researched their treatment and it seemed OK. After a while I was having severe side effects and decided to find a more main stream doctor, a proper endocrinologist.

They were appalled at the dosage from the previous doctor. I had been started on 2x the maximum dose! Usually people start at 0.5x the dose and step up if it’s not enough.

That went fine for a bit, but I was having some discomfort administering the medicine and asked my GP. He lost his temper (not at me). The previous 2 doctors had gone straight to the simplest but most side effects solution. He explained that there are 5 different treatments for my condition! I was suffering thru unnecessary side effects because the previous doctors hadn’t even discussed these other solutions with me. I wasn’t aware of them at all.

So pissed.

neshura,
@neshura@bookwormstory.social avatar

Doctors can be so incredibly hit or miss and the worst part is there is no good way to check the reputation of a doc beforehand.

1993_toyota_camry,
@1993_toyota_camry@beehaw.org avatar

There are sites like ratemds.com, depending on your area.

But like most internet reviews, people tend to only post negative experiences or astroturfing.

michaelrose,

It’s deeply weird that it rates Staff Punctuality Helpfulness Knowledge and then averages them. Kinda funny that if Dr Ned had a nice nurse he would probably rate higher than House.

PonyOfWar,

Nothing on that level of messed up, but probably the worst for me was having a homeopathic doctor as a child who prescribed me sugar pills as medicine.

Lamb,

Sharing woes is never a competition, don’t ever worry about this. I’m sorry you had the doctor! That’s messed up, especially since it could’ve potentially affected your development. :(

PonyOfWar,

Probably didn’t harm me ultimately, as he did prescribe regular medicine when it was really needed (in addition to some sugar pills usually). Still, it might not have harmed me, but it sure didn’t help me, only filling the pockets of some quack companies.

walden,

Do pharmacies sell sugar pills?

PonyOfWar,

Yes, at least in Germany they do. Homeopathy is pretty mainstream here.

Appoxo,
@Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

My workplace has some as customers…I cringe everytime I see behind the counter…

Edit: Solely by the story I guessed the country and checked your profile for confirmation. Suspicion was quickly confirmed.

Lamb, (edited )

For people who don’t want to look up the profile themselves: The Netherlands (unless I’ve read wrong).

Edit: I was wrong. Look below!

Appoxo,
@Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Not quite. More like DACH region than NL.
The whole homeopathy and “globuli” debate is a big think around DE since the health insurance companies finance the whole fake sugar pill shit.
Yes, you read the right: The health insurance, paid by tax dollar and insurance fees, finance this stuff.

Lamb,

Ah, pardon me, thank you for clarifying! I moved to Germany not that long ago and was advised to amend my insurance to opt out from homeopathy and I did so before seeing any doctors. ^ ^’

neshura,
@neshura@bookwormstory.social avatar

My Mother was on that whole trip for a long time, she still has some around but now admits and recognizes that the most you’ll get out of those damn pills is a placebo effect (ideal for children with minor woes like a scratched knee)

Was one hell of a ride getting her to that point though

Streetdog,

I’ve had eczema all my life. Mostly on my face/arms/legs, whenever exposed (summer/winter). Have been prescribed a shitton of steroid-based ointments. That never worked. From GP to dermatologists, they never knew coz “eczema can’t be explained”, so they always “assumed” stuff, blaming the heat, the cold, the dust, the sun, the water, too much soap, too little soap (calling me dirty).

Not once did they (offer me to) test for allergies. Just assumed it was something unexplainable. Just live with it.

Even been called a liar when I told them those steroid-based ointments actually make it worse.

I moved to another country, still had this eczema. Worse actually. 1 GP visit and an allergy test later it appears I have a mold allergy.

Doesn’t help I have lived and still live in an even more humid environment. Rain is the worst, because the spores come out. But with the help of some anti-histamines I have been eczema free for a few years. Mold thrives on steroids, so I avoid that.

Lamb,

I’m so sorry you went through it. I had a doctor accuse me of taking a medication I don’t have to change my blood test results. He still believes I lied. We are waiting on another test result. He suggested I should see another doctor. I don’t even smoke, don’t drink, don’t do drugs, how the fuck would I get a medication to mess with my blood results?

Glad someone finally figured out what’s the cause of your issue! <3

Streetdog,

Doctors are still people and people make mistakes.

Yet it’s hard to not hold a grudge against a doctor telling you you’re a liar. Let alone if multiple say the same thing. Especially if they do it “by the book” so to speak.

The experience I had here, another country, the GP just looked at my eczema (basically eyes, fingers, spots on legs and arms all red and itchy af) and said without a doubt in her voice “allergy.” And was she right about that. So don’t give up hope.

Edit: Not that I meant to say you should move to another country. Just that because here it is more humid, there is more mold, so more similar cases might have passed this GP in her time practicing.

LemmyKnowsBest,

That time in 2004 I requested a specific kind of birth control from my doctor because I had just had a baby with the most horrific postpartum depression you could ever imagine, and I never wanted to go through that ever again.

In retrospect it’s clear that the doctor was uncomfortable with the mere thought of inserting an IUD, he had probably never done it before, and he did not want to do it. He didn’t say that, but the discomfort on his face was obvious, and he talked me up about some sort of a birth control patch like a sticker that I wear on my arm.

I did not want a sticker on my arm. I wanted an IUD.

But he sent me away with the arm sticker and I didn’t want it so I didn’t put it on. I felt hopeless and unheard and invalidated and that nothing I wanted mattered.

Two years later my husband got me pregnant again 😭

Postpartum depression is absolutely hell and I wouldn’t wish this psychological trauma on Hitler himself.

17 years later the good news is my second child turned out to be the most angelic cute brilliant hilarious precious gift you could ever imagine.

girl, (edited )

I’ve had ~ a dozen minor bad experience with doctors and nurses, and one awful experience (still not as bad as assault).

The worst one started with severe endometriosis pain, I was hyperventilating (without realizing it) for hours. My fingers eventually curled up and rendered my hands useless, which triggered a panic attack and more hyperventilating. I went to the ER because I had never experienced a loss of function in my hands before, it was terrifying. The nurse stuck me in a room and left me to my terror for hours, I cried and begged for someone to help me. Another nurse came by at some point, I heard them outside asking “is she okay?” and my main nurse just told them I was being stupid and needed to cry it out. She eventually came in to explain that hyperventilating causes a buildup of CO2 in the blood, which led to my fingers curling up, so I had to calm down for it to improve. She at no point offered me any kind of calmative, not even something basic like gabapentin. I eventually felt enough shame that I calmed down and went home.

All the little experiences just fucked with my ability to trust my doctors (as individuals, not medicine as a whole). Doctors just blankly staring at me when I show them something they’ve never seen before, or telling me that the 3” tumor growing on my leg is “so small it’s almost nothing!” when they know I have a genetic mutation that severely limits my cells abilities to keep benign tumors from turning into cancer. I have a handful of health issues I need to go see doctors for again, but I have no confidence they won’t just tell me it’s all in my head again.

Edit: oh yea, the most comical time was when a dentist gaslit me about basic human anatomy. I’m not a doctor but I have a B.S., I can read basic anatomy diagrams. I get really intense pain at the hinge of my jaw, right in front of my ears, when I eat something for the first time in a few hours. It’s definitely salivary stones. My dentist told me that salivary glands don’t exist there, so that can’t be it. Except they do. It’s pretty easy to figure that out lol. I asked her “okay, what else could it be then?” And she just grunted at me.

Lamb,

All I can do is:

hug

I’m so sorry. :(

girl,

I’m very sorry for your experience as well OP. That would be traumatic for anyone, but especially so at such a young age :( hugs

HubertManne,
@HubertManne@kbin.social avatar

I had a primary care woman who felt there was no need to talk about birth control since I was married. 20+ years married and no kids. whooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Fosheze,

When I first got officially diagnosed with depression the doc prescribed me an antidepressant and when I asked about sideffects he said “noone ever gets any sideffects from this med”. It literally had a black box warning and a CVS recipt of known sideeffects. Also yes there were definitely sideffects. Luckily the pharmacist wasn’t a moron like the doc and actually told me what to expect.

intensely_human,

My psychiatrists told me for well over a decade that they reason it takes antidepressants a couple weeks to start working is they need to build up in the blood.

Later research showed that antidepressants work through neurogenesis, same way as exercise. The thing that takes two weeks is the proliferation of new and differentiated cells eventually leading to new emotional states.

This whole “build up in the blood” thing never made any sense. If you ingest MDMA or alcohol it doesn’t need time to build up in the blood. The timeframe for an ingested chemical to reach peak volumes in the blood is about 30-60 minutes.

This story never made sense, yet it was accepted and parroted by doctors everywhere.

Fosheze,

This depends on the antidepressant. Most modern antidepressants have a relatively short half-life in the body. For example the one I’m on now has a half-life of about 10 hours. However one of the first SSRIs and the still most frequently prescribed one, Fluoxetine, has a half life of 4 days for the medication itself and its metabolite has a half-life of up to 10 days. So that one does literally take weeks to fully build up in the blood and that’s probably why doctors use that line.

Regardless, even with the shorter half-life drugs it does take a couple of weeks for your brain to adjust to the altered neurotransmitter levels. So even if it’s not technically “waiting for it to build up in the blood”, the result is the same and it’s an easily understandable explanation for doctors to use even if it’s not technically correct.

stolid_agnostic,

Doctors will absolutely gaslight your symptoms with anything that affects your brain. They don’t care that you can’t sleep or eat or have sex or experience emotions, it’s all about throwing pills at the problem until one seems to work a little bit and doesn’t make your life shit. I’ve never met a psychiatrist capable of basic human empathy.

Fosheze, (edited )

There are a lot of really shitty doctors out there that do shit like that but there are still decent ones too. Luckily the one in my initial post wasn’t my primary care doc. I couldn’t get in to see my normal doc at the time so I just got Dr. Dumbass instead.

My primary care doc is actually great with dealing with my depression despite it not being his area of expertise. I’d love to get in to see a psych and therapist but they’re all so booked up my doctor can’t even get me on a waiting list so he just does the best he can on his own. He literally called up that department while I was in the office with him and they basically gave him a flat no and then hung up on him. Durring one of my initial appointments he just straight up told me that mental health isn’t an area he knows much about but as time went on it became clear that he was putting in a ton of effort to actually educate himself. Now whenever I’m having an issue related to my depression or medications sideeffects he can quickly come up with multiple potential solutions discuss the pros and cons of each one with me and ask which one I want to try. Needless to say I will be keeping this doctor even if it means I need to lock him in my basement.

stolid_agnostic,

amazing!

Myrhial,

My partner was admitted to the hospital when they couldn’t inflate his collapsed lung, as it had a hole in it. They put him on a machine that uses negative pressure to keep the lung shaped as it should be. Normally the hole should close but it wasn’t. Ended up with surgery but the problem remained. They were coming up with increasingly outlandish theories as to why it wasn’t healing, even going so far as to test him for tuberculosis, and listing him as false negative for covid. They also denied him adequate pain management, until one nurse noticed and gave him ibuprofen to go with paracetamol. This was all when the covid vaccine was only just out so I had to sit by helplessly while I’m increasingly realising the level of care he is receiving doesn’t match my expectations. But he’s never even been in a hospital and self advocacy is not something he’s learned.

Eventually they transfer him to a larger hospital. The doctor there doesn’t want to talk straight but between the lines you get the message that he feels the case was entirely mismanaged. They immediately lower the reverse pressure. Hold off on further surgery. Within days healing begins. A week later the lung is healed. It’s a miracle…

Anyway, we looked into legal options but there was a lack of proof. The original doctor followed procedure. Yet I’m 100% convinced that because my partner smokes, has bad teeth and looks like a metalhead, there was prejudice at play. I can’t know for sure but I feel like the original doctor blamed my partner and figured she’d have to scare him straight. That didn’t help of course, he resumed smoking and he’s unwilling to seek help because of this experience. I’m honestly shocked at how this could happen, but as time goes on I’ve seen in other situations how people immediately conclude a person is lower class and thus must be treated differently. If you do one thing for yourself, look into self advocacy. Especially when it comes to medical stuff. My own level of care started to go up when I began to have a conversation with health professionals, outlining my experience and asking many questions. But I’m a middle class woman with fairly conventional looks, so there is a whole level of prejudice I immediately don’t face.

DessertStorms,
@DessertStorms@kbin.social avatar

Jfc, I'm sorry that happened to you, how awful.

I've had all sorts of bad experiences, from one doctor looking down my top at my boobs without warning or permission, to the "normal" doubt dismissal and denial of anything being wrong with me despite much evidence to the contrary..

Doctors so often fucking suck, and I'm so sick of it being taboo to even say so. Medical school should include bringing them down a couple of pegs before they're ever allowed to even interact with patients.

Lamb,

I’m so sick of it being taboo to even say so.

YESSSS! And the worst is, they trust one another so the longer you suffer from an issue, the less seriously they treat it. I had a therapist who got diagnosed in her 30s with a life-long disease she always sought help for. She ended up movement impaired due to it proceeding with no treatment. Doctors called her a drug-seeker, school-skipper and so on. All she needed was to be treated seriously.

Really glad to had met you. It’s really reassuring to see people who understand, as much as I wish you wouldn’t understand as I’d prefer you would had never had experienced that.

DessertStorms,
@DessertStorms@kbin.social avatar

No matter how many stories like yours and your friends (which sounds very similar to mine) I hear, it never gets les enraging that we're just left to not only suffer at the time, but for the rest of our lives in many cases, because some doctor values their ego over their patients.

But yeah, it's always nice to find people who know what you've been through, even if both (all) wish they hadn't.. 💜

Mothra,
@Mothra@mander.xyz avatar

After a minor gynecologic surgical procedure I was feeling really anxious and could barely feel anything since the local anaesthetic was still in effect. The doctor left the room, and the nurse (a woman past her 50s) said I peed myself and that I should be careful when leaving since it was likely to happen again. It was all a lie, as I later realised. When I was able to check myself and saw I was perfectly fine and dry, I understood what that fleeting moment of glee on her face was all about.

Bitch Nurse I hope you die of chronic incontinence if any such thing exists.

Lamb,

Holy fuck. Why are so many nurses so vile? I had nurses cover me in a pile of extremely warm blankets in a room heated to the highest temperature to a point where it felt like I was having a stroke and were ignoring me telling them how much the temperature hurt. Or nurses leaving in clearly wrongly put in venflons with 0 things scheduled for injections, leaving me in pain, unable to use an arm. I developed a severe phobia of venflons thanks to this. :/

Mothra,
@Mothra@mander.xyz avatar

I don’t know… Sorry about your experience. Fortunately in my case every other nurse I’ve dealt with was actually okay.

stolid_agnostic,

Nurse can be the female version of asshole cop.

blackstampede,

Went to a doctor for a twisted ankle, who told me that my feet had exaggerated arches. When asked what that meant (as in- medically, what problems could that cause) he laughed and replied that it meant I had “ugly fucking feet”.

LemmyKnowsBest,

That time in 2006 I had a really good OBGYN that was seeing me through from the beginning of my pregnancy all the way to my childbirth, but somewhere along the way at one of my visits he said there was a visiting doctor on the floor who wanted to examine me and asked for my permission and consent and I’m like

sure whatever, why wouldn’t I trust a doctor? If he needs to do something and learn something for his professional credentials, sure, go ahead whatever you need to do. I didn’t say all those words, but that was the gist of the exchange.

Then for some reason my doctor and the nurse chaperone left the room(?!) so it was just that visiting Dr and me in the room and he got creepy wanting to touch my cervix and he looked me in the eye while he did it and it was just a creepy vibe, and I could tell he was being a perv about it.

Extremely unprofessional.

and it’s not like I was even sexy. A wild jungle of pubic hairs, fat, there was nothing sexy about me, he was just a sick twisted doctor

and I wonder whatever became of him. I never saw him before or since and I never got around to reporting the incident because it took a while for my brain to comprehend that what he did was not appropriate, and I had a million other things going on in my life, this was just a weird thing that happened that got lost in the jumble of all the other life events.

It happened at Trinity Health Hospital in Minot North Dakota.

Lamb,

Holy fuck! I’m so sorry. :(((((

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