@neversosimple@actuallyautistic I love parties, I enjoy meeting new people. There's no small talk in those situations. Everyone is buzzing and if you ask the right questions you get interesting stories. Plus, info dumping is acceptable, depending on the topic! BUT it's tiring and I'm done with people for a few hours or days afterwards.
@neversosimple@actuallyautistic I would still call myself an introvert.
Who I'm talking to and in which environment just changes how much energy it will cost me.
Maybe you could call a conversation stimulating for me, but that's not the same as "giving energy", because I'm still exhausted afterwards.
It's like sports, fine as long as I have the energy for it.
This can also seem paradoxical to others, because seeking conversations can be stimulation seeking behavior, especially when I'm tired.
@neversosimple@actuallyautistic I thought I was an introvert until about the age of 30 (now 36). I know a lot of it is from being autistic, but I think I’m a mix of introvert and extrovert. I thrive on alone time, get drained by social situations, and don’t get lonely unless it’s for a certain person. I also like seeing people and talking a little, though they scare me.
Some people gives me a boost some times and I don't hate everybody! Still, on average I can't engage for nearly as long as others do before my batteries are drained.
And it happens that I have a special someone that do not drain me in the same way, though that is not currently the case.
There are verbally proficient NDs. And it's possible to act as one; before Lorna broke it open there were lots of those that were just adapting to get by and exhausted their whole lives.
I get that it's enticing to group the traits, I also think it's not that simple.
Look to older late-diagnosis people for examples and anecdotes.
@PricklyHeart@actuallyautistic Sorry if my ignorance offended you, but we all have different paths to knowledge. Thank you for your recommended readings.
It probably wasn't clear from my op, but I intended the intro-extroversion be defined by how energy is gained or drained from social interaction.
Your initial reply seemed to draw reasoning from different associations than mine which I could not clearly deduce and I was curious to know rather than presume, hence me asking.
@philcolbourn@neversosimple@actuallyautistic I have met extroverted autists... they are still misunderstood, still make social errors, but they nevertheless love talking. It's fascinating to observe but tires me out still talking to them ( less than an allistic though).
The error in question was that he was over using a script (talking about his dog) and it was getting into special interest territory. I heard allistics talk behind his back, saying he was boring, "going on and on", etc. I have seen him use it successfully as a script though; eg girls cooing over tik toks of his dog.
@philcolbourn@neversosimple@actuallyautistic actually the narc I knew (before I discovered she was a narcissist and dropped her like a rod of radium), probably also counts as an extroverted autist. She would talk and talk until she had a meltdown. 🤷♀️🙃
@philcolbourn@neversosimple@actuallyautistic oh another example:
I've been in group chats with a mix of ppl and it seems to be:
Au introverted+Au extroverted, latter will dominate convo
Au extroverted + allistic, latter will dominate
Mixed group with all neurotypes, ADHD will dominate, and if there's a couple of ADHD ers then they will be the ONLY ones doing any talking at all.
@marytzu@philcolbourn@actuallyautistic No kidding! I can't speak coherently if I need to keep an eye on... their eyes :[
We should do like the old telegraphs and add "STOP" when we're done talking.
Huh I was just thinking this the other day. I wondered how many NT introverts and ND extroverts there are. Then I wondered if the whole introversion axis is just another way to describe autism vs allistic.
Really curious to see what kinds of answers you get.
@neversosimple@actuallyautistic
So, I've had a conversation with a NT introvert asking me what the difference was between introverted and autistic.
I was new to it all (still am), I'm curious how others would have explained it.
@fictionalbutnot@actuallyautistic I see introversion as a small subset of my autism, like how socializing exhausts me, and my propensity to learn and experience things on my own.
The non-intersecting part of being autistic (in my case) includes sensory overload, shutdown and brainfog, poor executive function, alexithymia, obsessive focus, detail orientation and more.
@neversosimple I used to describe myself as an extroverted introvert. Now I know that my mask was the extrovert, and #AutisticMe was suffering from the forced social construct. I am happy in my own company most of the time. Having to interact f2f is often too much 'peopleing' that drains me. @fictionalbutnot@actuallyautistic
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