Oh there will be a meeting where they weigh PR vs propaganda costs. If Twitter becomes Truth Social 2.0 it fails. You gotta keep the libs/lefties in it in order to redpill em.
Chances are they’ll just have another Pride Week to cover it.
I can see making an exception for a single letter name but block is an essential feature of any social network not having it could leave you open to a lawsuit and possibly charges from a stalking murder case
Yeah, hopefully. Musk loves pushing boundaries. Eventually you wonder if he pushes too far. As other comments here suggest, though, the one thing he really highlights is the arbitrary nature and general inconsistency of these boundaries. The rules may be written down, but they don’t apply equally. It’s helpful to be reminded of that sometimes.
They’re small services that you load your libraries into, and select content you want to get and the quality of that content. Then the service goes out and finds the torrents for you and adds them to your library.
Ah, my bad. I’m so used to it all that I can’t help but spit out jargon with no context sometimes 😅
I’m referring to apps like Sonarr, which basically keeps an eye on torrent/usenet providers and downloads episodes for you automatically. So you tell it you want some show, optionally set the quality you want it at, and it takes care of everything so that the episodes just show up on Jellyfin/Plex after they air and it grabs them. There’s also Radarr for movies and a whole bunch of related ones.
Tbh JF is faaaaaaaar from a ‘great UI’, it suffers from the ‘open source design’ of developers who have no idea how to design a good UI as the designers for the UI. I shouldn’t need to click vaguely in the direction of where I think the X (close) button is to make it appear in the first place. The settings for a user should be in the same location as the admin settings. The main screen shouldn’t look like it came straight out of 2000, it should have the categories all visible by default, it should be easier to setup https (plex was WAY easier in this regard), ota channel guides shouldn’t be outsourced to a paid project, there is no built-in import/export (I recently moved to a docker image and found that out, yay)…
It ‘works’, but fuck me it’s so rough around the edges that it draws blood. Plex has issues (downloading content from a server is wonky, metadata can grab the wrong movies, paid sub/lifetime etc) but it’s so, so, so much closer to what an all-in-one media platform should be, imo.
That’s because it’s a fork of Emby from 13+ years ago, still running 90% of that old code. They’ve kept it functional, that’s about it.
If you want something that’s actually still being developed/improved look to Emby or Plex. Emby is more focused on ‘personal’ media servers with your own content and users under your own control; plex is more focused on cloud services, integrating content they can run advertising on and requiring your users to authenticate through their public servers to be able to access your local/private server.
I’ve had plex running on my nas for 6+ years now, and have it set to where all the cloud stuff is available but out of the way, as I have a small collection so I don’t need to lean into the cloud streaming. I remember trying Emby in my evaluation of Plex, but as I recall the UI was bleh and it too followed a paid model. I know of Kodi but I haven’t looked into it in a long time, and I never ended up actually trying it.
Plex is fine for my needs, but I decided to get setup with JF just ‘in case’ plex takes a sharp new direction or something (I’ve had it installed since the whole ‘watch stuff free with ads’ kicked off), so if/when I can just be like ‘hey all plex did [stupid thing] so I just need you all to uninstall plex, grab this jellyfin app, and login with [credentials] and we will be all set’.
Emby used to be entirely open source, it’s free to use the base product (server software and the built in web browser based app) but requires a license for the installable apps and some server features so that the developers have some income from their work and incentive to keep spending their time+efforts on it.
Some people don’t like paying others for their hard work so they’d regularly fork Emby as it releases updates so they could remove those paywalls.
Unwilling to continue supporting this, Emby went closed source so their work could no longer be stolen. Jellyfin is the final fork of emby before it officially closed its source code. They have since kept it running, but have made little to no improvements or changes beyond that.
I’m not arguing that any of your complaints are invalid. I just want to say that I use jellyfin to organize my movies and TV shows and access them from other computers on my home network. It works, is easy, was free. I like it.
Yeah, there’s a reason I keep it installed and at the ready, but it’s just less user-friendly and that is essential when my users aren’t tech savvy, they just want things to ‘work’. If JF reaches feature parity I’ll migrate my users, but I can’t be asked to explain why they need to pay a monthly fee for ota guides or why everything looks different, if I also need to explain that features are missing and why can’t I move their watch history. It’s got to be easy for them, but also for me too.
I’ve found that most FOSS projects just have a “for us, by us” mentality where nobody cares about making things easy to use to the point that it’s not even possible if you’re not an experienced coder AND have strong knowledge of networking.
Not to mention the setup for hardware encoding which basically expects deep knowledge of the matter to even get it to run, let alone run well. Plex on the other hand hides it behind a license but it JUST WORKS, there’s no setup or anything.
I really wanted to use Jellyfin, but there’s just too many pain points
I highly discourage 1337x. They got caught not banning a user who intentionally uploaded malware. Forgive the reddit link, but there aren’t a lot of piracy news sites.
Damn. Just learned that trusting 1337x and IGGGAMES was a bad idea. Trying to teach my little pirate how to be safe on the high seas only to find out the places and people I thought were safe aren’t so.
Realdebrid just finds the torrents for you though, right? You’d still need a VPN since you’re technically downloading the movie to watch it. I know a lot of ISPs send notices if you torrent a copyrighted movie
Nope. It also downloads the torrent for you and gives you download link or stream link to the video. Most of the time, the torrent is already on their cache, so it’s instantly available to you.
They’re more like a private storage server. You can’t see what movies they have. Technically you can only download what you ‘add’ there, but they cache everybody else’s downloads too, so your download is readily available. I’m not sure of all technicalities, but there are a few different debrid services, so there must be some way they are able to do this.
There’s now a whole ecosystem of applications to streamline the download of series (sonarr) and movies (radarr) using torrents or Usenet (prowlarr). Pair those with a good player like Jellyfin or Plex and you have a nice media center that for sure won’t stop working everytime your family tries to watch a movie…
But it’s totally free. You don’t need app unlocks, you can have as many devices as you want, and you can hardware transcode without paying for premium.
Paid ~$100 for the lifetime license 9 years ago. So less than 93 pennies a month.
Throughout that time Emby has constantly been developed bringing bug fixes, UI improvements, and new features; while also providing excellent support as needed on the forums.
TBH I think I’ve vastly underpaid and plan to donate to the project shortly.
In that same time, I’ve seen very few meaningful updates to jellyfin. Just scrolling through their changelogs it’s mostly filled with:
Facts. I run both but JF is not ‘family-ready’ and thus sits on my server, receiving updates and idling until that changes. Plex took 5 minutes of explaining and the folks have been happily using it for a few years now.
Plex and Jellyfin are two ways to host your own content. Basically, instead of streaming from a Netflix server, you’re streaming from your own server.
Plex was the original, and Jellyfin is the FOSS alternative. In short, you run the program on a computer somewhere, and tell that program where all of your media is stored. It’ll scan your media depending on the library type (movies, TV shows, music, etc,) automatically pair it with the appropriate metadata, and make it available for streaming via the computer.
You can combine this with the *arr suite (Radarr, Sonarr, etc) to have your torrent client automatically download new content as it comes out. Basically, the appropriate *arr program listens for when new content gets released, then automatically tells your torrent client to search for that content (based on specific rules like language, bitrate, capture method, etc) and download it automatically. This pairs nicely with Plex/Jellyfin because you can use automatic torrent management to drop the files directly into the right folders for your server to scan and make available.
It does have a few drawbacks. One of the most annoying is port forwarding. Lots of VPNs have stopped offering port forwarding, because some creeps figured out how to use it to share/trade CSAM anonymously. But Plex and Jellyfin require an open port in order to be made available outside of your network, and you don’t want to run the server+torrents without a VPN. Some VPNs allow port forwarding, but randomly assign the port every time you connect. So it may work fine for a while, but will require occasional attention when that port changes.
There’s also the issue with needing a computer that’s turned on all the time. Some people (like myself) just run it on their home desktop. But that means I needed to set up Wake On LAN to be able to boot my computer up remotely, or just be okay with letting it idle all the time and never sleep. Personally, I chose to enable WOL, so I just remote into my network and send a magic packet before trying to stream. But that’s an extra step some people won’t want to do every time. If you have an old computer sitting around gathering dust, it can be a great weekend project.
Plex is actually a fork of Kodi (XBMC). Kodi is still actively developed, and easily supports both local media (for example, downloaded using one of the *arrs) and streaming from various sources using addons.
You can literally say the same thing about any fork, and yet nobody ever does. I’ll reiterate, Kodi is XBMC - there was no fork, no split in development, only a rename.
Higher quality and more reliable. I spent like 2 hours trying to find a site to stream the show I’m currently watching that didn’t have excessive audio issues. Were I a true pirate, I could simply download the highest quality available, and watch it whenever I want.
I wouldn’t want to use Plex, though. If you know what you want to watch and it’s already downloaded, just throw it on a flash drive or transfer it to your phone, no need to stream. If you want a netflix-style 2 terabytes of stuff that you may or may not ever watch, just… Spend the money on Netflix. Your time is worth more than that subscription fee. If Netflix doesn’t have the show you want, do the thing I said in the first paragraph.
Last Exile. I like obscure old anime, so it’s been on my list for a minute. I needed something to watch, so I checked Hulu. At some point in the last few months, they stopped streaming it.
So I definitely didn’t go to theindex.moe, and I super didn’t click on every damn streaming site they link to. I “promise” I didn’t settle on animeflix dot live, and I definitely didn’t put up with awful audio issues until I realized that the default server it streams from is in SD so you have to click the gear and set it to one of the HD servers instead.
Which sites are those? From my experience it’s hard to find 4k/Dolby Vision on those free streaming sites, which is where pirating and streaming your own stuff is the better option.
The main benefit for me is the app accessibility (easier to search through an app than a file system), the convenience of not needing to carry around a bunch of data all the time, and the ease of sharing it with family.
If I understand your setup, when you decide you want to a new movie you have to download it, pull the hdd over to the machine, transfer it to the hdd, rename, perhaps even transcode, and then put the drive back on the TV.
In the type of setup described above or like mine, I can pull out my phone and using a very simple search all of the file handling and such is taken care of for me. I don’t ever have to worry if I have the right filetype for the device I’m on, and I can watch that from any device on my local network, or just about any device that has an internet connection. Also, while I’m watching one thing, several other people can be watching whatever else they want on their devices.
I have a smart TV where you can just plug in a NTFS formatted USB drive and it plays perfectly. Never had to rename or transcode anything. It plays 4K files more smoothly than most computers I’ve had.
The only problem I’ve had is when I’m watching a foreign film and the subtitle file is in the wrong file format.
That covers a small subset of the reason a lot of us set it up the way we have. I mean, if that is working for you, great. But you still have to move a physical device, and the ability to watch media is still limited to the location of said device.
The better free streaming sites are my go-to, because I have plausible deniability, I don’t with a torrent. And unfortunately my VPN throttles you unless you start paying. Which I am thinking about going ahead and doing.
I’ll tell you, I have my setup to the point where I go to one website, subscribe to a show, and episodes of that show appear to watch on my TV same day they are released.
I also set myself up to get email alerts telling me what new episodes I have to watch when they are done being downloaded.
… Setting all that up took me awhile and will take tech skills. But now that it’s set up, it’s zero touch aside from adding new shows.
Plus, I never have to worry about trying to find where to stream at it and even if my Internet goes out I can still watch my shows
(even if the computer is yours, whereas you have created your own ‘mini cloud’. I hate that term, it’s just a machine running software. It’s all just machines, consuming us all. screams … anyway)
Where can I find good tutorials for the *arr suite? I have Jackett installed for easier searching in Qbit, but I half assed that somehow into working. I would love to have auto downloads for content, especially those shows that still release episodes like a drop feed. An almost fully automated Plex would be amazing the TV show requests I get.
I’m like you, hadn’t pirated outside of games since early 2000s and just started again. Wait until you see the shit we have now, it’s mind-blowing how far it’s come.
And with Jellyfin if you have the upload speeds you can even host for family etc, so anyone sharing your Netflix now can just login to your Jellyfin server, for them it will be a comparable experience.
I’m still maining plex, and at least there, they just create a plex account, you grant access to that account, and that’s it. Don’t even have to open ports. My guess is with JF since there isn’t a central account host, you’d probably have expose some ports on your network to be able to login without a VPN.
Pirating games is basically unheard of for me, unless it’s a product not readily available on a modern storefront.
Nintendo has a problem with me playing Pokemon Omega Ruby on a 3DS emulator? they are free to offer a switch version.
This is because steam is not an asshole, which is a big reason why I kind of got disappointed when they stopped offering movies. I like having those on the same platform
Nevermind that shit, Stremio + Torrentio + Real-Debrid. I’m fucking done with these greedy-ass companies. I was paying Netflix, Amazon, Disney, Apple, Paramount , MLB.tv and HBO, and pretty content to do so, and they all continually removed content and adjusted their pricing to reduce what I was getting for my money. They finally pushed me beyond my tolerance limit a few months ago and I’ve been back to sailing the high seas for the first time in 20 years.
I have more content now, all at acceptable quality options, all with good subtitles instead of the mess HBO was, and all on the same platform instead of having to jump between 7 different apps. I’m done with them and I’ll stay done with them until they pull their heads out of their asses.
Edit: if you get a cheap computer, a Chromecast, a FireTV, or what I have - an Nvidia Shield TV, then you get even get a nifty remote controller and a good standard browsing platform for everything.
Just set this up on a cheap Onn 4k box from Walmart. Works fantastic. Also setup the Trakt integration to keep up with what I watch across multiple devices.
I’ve tested jellyfin this week on my dedicated server. It’s cool but most of my files need transcoding to be played on the browser, which my weak server CPU cannot handle. The best option I found to stream any file format without eating up all server resources on this machine is to set up a simple nginx server with autoindex streaming the files to VLC. I use the “Open with VLC” browser extension to quickly open the links. Playback performance is quite good (scrubbing is fast) and everything plays well.
I guess it only occasionally makes sense for government web sites and banks. X might have ambitions to become a bank, so in that sense it might make sense.
So another piece of advice: if twitter ever asks you if you want to start using it for banking, nope the fuck out.
Idk, I’ve got my hands in a lot of financial cookie jars, and I don’t recall ever being asked for something like this. At the very least, not in this manner.
If you keep in mind that it’s only done with special certified subcontractors, then yes. I would never give that information directly to a company like X. And yes, also those special companies are more times shady than they should be, but still.
I know there's a similar-ish process for accessing Spanish social security services online at least, and I believe it's the same for some other services as well.
Then again, Spanish public services are not exactly the gold standard for digitalization.
The only government function that has ever wanted a "selfie" was for my drivers license and passport. Both of which feature that picture. But I've never done either through a site.
To follow his dystopian vision of Twitter as the Everything app, in the US it will have to be a bank at some point. The same way that Apple is now a bank in order to power parts of their wallet and payment platforms.
Or maybe because it has an APY of over 4%, which is pretty damn good for a savings account. If Google came up with a +4% APY savings account, I’m sure people would sign up for that in droves too.
Also, there are Apple, Google/Android, Microsoft and Linux cults. Apple is not unique in that arena.
You Americans should get to this century and start performing digital strong authentications like the rest of us. Sending picture of your ID to anyone is insane :)
How we do it here in Finland is that there are digital identity providers which use bank/mobile carrier to identify you. They then use MFA when identifying you. Any service can use these services to do strong authentication for you. And they don’t cost anything for the customer, and is really cheap for the company who wants to identify you. It is also build into the law that you must identify people using these, to avoid identity theft.
But how did they authenticate your identity when you opened the account? I'd not trying to be an arse - but at some point it will likely have come back to matching some official photo id against your face.
They once identify you from your driver’s license, government id card or passport. After that you for example link your smart phone to you, and you use their app when you identify.
You can also use mobile carriers, they send a push notification directly to you phone+sim. Not sure what protocol they use here, because it opens up an UI which is plain android, and asks pin.
Everything relays on chain of trust that since one service has identified you, the next can trust too. Plus there is MFA to verify that you actually made the identification request.
The initial argument was ‘sending is to anyone is insane’ but that’s what you do with the bank. Yes it’s only once - but that’s the same as the other systems we are taking about here.
Interesting, so your answer to identity authentication is it is it shouldn’t ultimately be done to do remotely and that everyone needs to queue at the counter.
The other bank and other mobile provider identifies you through the another one. I am able to identify through two different banks and mobile provider, and have not in 15 years done it onprem. I do strong digital authentication generally once or twice a week.
Edit: last time was actually when I took house mortgage 13 years ago, and switched bank. Not really a issue to show ID onprem when talking 200k€.
So, to be clear - if you ever need to renew government documentation or get access to government systems (benefits or taxes), the government doesn’t ask to see government ID - it outsources that to bank procedures from n years ago?
Practical sense yes, I accessed my tax info today, and strongly authenticated through my mobile provider. It took me 2 seconds and there was MFA included in the process.
Only if you want to watch adult-themed videos, which they have been more lenient towards after the introduction of YouTube Kids and this measure. NewPipe and yt-dlp can still stream them, though, and you could also interact with the video (like, comment, save to playlists) using the official frontend last time I checked.
I like to watch people playing Hearts of Iron 4 (a WW2 strategy game) and most of the creators avoid saying “Hitler” to avoid getting demonetized and hit with an age check.
What I meant is that fewer videos get removed when age-restricting them is an option. Demonetization of any keywords relating to objectionable topics is still ridiculous, though, especially when the company has major AI research labs that could figure out how to differentiate between use in historical context and propaganda. However, that does not pay the bills and they don’t need more users & creators to be happy about the platform.
Outside of services where you need to access it (ex. school / exams / government services), one beneficial one might be dating apps. There’s an advantage to being verified.
Although none of them ask for ID from what I understand, just “hold up 3 fingers and take a touch your nose” or something…
incorrect. it is actually fairly easy to authenticate an id or passport from a photo. Photoshopping something is easily spotted by a trained eye. Source i work as a document expert for an online ID verification company. the amount of fakes we spot each day are fairly large and its not all automatically processed. Also for those people that don’t know where there data is proccesed. there are actually a lot of laws in place to protect your data for example for EU citizens
Sure, a bad photoshop can be spotted, but you can’t spot it if the forger put in just a little bit of effort. The fact that you can spot some fakes doesn’t mean you spot all fakes.
Hence why we have minimum picture quality were we reject if too low quality plus in 6 years of working i have only seen a handful of fraudsters put in effort. most don’t put in effort and are either shoddy photoshops or people use camouflage passports(aka passports from non existing countries)the thing is that most printing techniques are easily visible on official passports. things like laser engraving and embossing are hard to photoshop and if people try they often look digitally replaced. But for doing my work it also has made we agree that not all companies need every data you have. But yes it does hell that i have done Print design before this job so know about how things are printed plus knowing how photoshop works
nah thats why we reject on bad quality if we can’t see all the sec features or if documents are printed or on a screen. Things like laser engraving are actually easy to see the difference between Photoshop and real.
When you visit the Chrome website in edge, a pop up in the top right tells you to use edge instead. Imagine going to sign up for a new ISP and your current one injecting a popup telling you they’re better. I have no idea how MS are getting away with it
Recommendation by my gf mostly. But i can see where she comes from. The OS is very lean and runit is easy to deal with.
A disadvantage i see though is the lack of Calamares installer and XBPS. The void-installer isn’t that intuitive, however it’s not as tough as installing Arch manually (SomeOrdinaryGamers made a fun video about it). XBPS isn’t as intuitive as APT either but apparently it’s much more solid and has less potential to break the Void install. Some packages are also not available in the void repos because they are either merged into other packages for simplicity or they are simply not available. In the latter case i recommend using flatpak.
Another caveat is that while Void has an established userbase, there are so much more resources for Ubuntu and other distros. So Void isn’t exactly good for a computer novice like my mom. Void has a good website with resources for common use-cases, so you’re not left to your own devices entirely.
Once you’re done setting up Void, you have a very snappy system. It boots fast and uses little resources. It uses 800 megabytes of RAM on my GPD Win 2, 200 of which think are from KDE. It is lean! It is so lean and it boots fast! It has a properly working standby mode which is not a given anymore these days! I can open up my GPD and it powers up reliably! Back on Windows ifound myself mashing the power button!
I installed it on another laptop, specifically a Sony VAIO Flip 15. I wanted to test it first but the VAIO didn’t like booting twice from an external drive. HOLY CRAP, BLUETOOTH IS WORKING AGAIN! I KNEW WINDOWS BROKE BLUETOOTH! FUCK THEIR “muh pci powerup failed” EXCUSE! Although i had to replace the Qualcomm Atheros AR9462 with my Intel Wireless AC-7260 because Atheros cards are iffy on Linux in general. I had the Intel one laying around because i was trying to ix the Bluetooth issue caused by a Windows Update.
And Void can be loud! Both of my systems i installed Void on are louder now! Holy crap! Not sure whether it’s specifically because of Void but damn! I love an OS that makes the very core stuff that i don’t usually think about work better! Except for some WiFi slowdown on my Win 2 but a config tweak later it’s gone. And the Atheros thing.
I initially thought Windows gaming on Linux was still not good, however it turned out that a few games i have don’t like being just plonked on a system without a proper install. There is a caveat remaining but that isn’t exclusive to Void and that is some weirdness when it comes to old physical Windows games. Multi-CD games aren’t properly supported and some CDs aren’t working too well for some reason. For example CD 2 of SimCity 4 isn’t read correctly.
The thing is, it's actually decent. I don't know why they have to keep doing this. I used Edge as the main browser on my Surface Go to get a bit more battery life, and it's fine as my second browser; feels like someone is desperately trying to meet their KPIs to keep on pulling shit like this. Parts of the browser are getting worse too, that sidebar is a complete mess at default.
Albing? But that sidebar really is a monstrosity at default, gotta disable like half of the items there to make it useful, and hide it on launch so it's not obnoxious.
You are probably right, but the more they keeping pushing me to use Edge, the more I don’t want to use it. My experience of it is mostly negative, as a hindrance that gets in my way with its constant nagging, and having to disable it.
This is pretty much me. I’ve never spent any significant amount of time with edge. I don’t really see the point in trying multiple chromium-based browsers.
The average person understandably doesn’t care about which rendering engine is being used behind the scene. They see the branding, the UI, and the features.
Hense Chromium’s near total dominance outside of the Mac world.
theres some sites that dont work with how i have my browser setup in chrome, at least i think thats what is the problem, but they work fine in edge. im not gonna use it for my main browser, microsoft already gets too much data from us all, but ill use it when chrome messes up.
It feels like the whole thing is getting worse, but if a small part of it is and can be turned off, it's not detrimental to the day-to-day use of it. Vs say a bad feature or issue with the rendering engine that makes a browser actively worse when using it.
That’s one of my main problems with Microsoft at this point. They can make improvements to the underlying technologies (WSL, better security sandboxing, FDE by default on supported hardware, etc) and develop actually decent software (Edge) but then they keep doing things to piss off the users like forced online account logins, the mess they made of the default app selection going from 10 to 11, pre-installed junk, and now this. They just need to get out of their own way and focus on making decent products: ones people want to use, instead of ones they’re coerced to use.
Edge was my main browser until about six months ago, then they pushed that obnoxious UI change that added a load of buttons to my toolbar that I can’t move or disable, and that irritating sidebar that jumps up whenever it can even when the button is disabled, and I went back to Firefox again.
On the partner portal tech side of things they force a UI change roughly every 6 months, then have a forced “See what’s new!!” Pop up that WONT GO AWAY every time you log in no matter how many times you click through its bubble chase game across the screen so you can just get to fucking work.
Then for some reason the partner portal oauth or whatever cookies expire wayyyy before the office.com user cookies. So you’ll go to access the portal and be told it’s expired, only to have to close the window and click the partner button again. Not even having to actually reauthenticate.
Why do some preview handlers in file explorer lock the file? Why user logon not more verbose? Or able to be verbose on selected problem machines? Why does Windows driver installer uninstall AMD adrenaline sometimes when it feels like turning itself back on? In place upgrades are a recovery option if the machine is still working, but why not if the machine isn’t booting and as a full recovery option with user and application data intact and only reinstalling OS files like Linux and MacOS? Why are all the built-in troubleshooters so fucking useless, especially with SaRA exists? Printer server on Windows server… WTF? Windows app troubleshooting, especially built in apps, the repair options in settings don’t work 90% of the time. You want people to use your storefront? Make it make sense! Quit. Changing. The. Fucking. Names. Of. Shit. You. Fucks. AzureAD was fine. Entra? Who fucking cares. Does some guy get paid to come up with names there? You want me to come smear shit on the walls and call it art? I’m sure I can convince some egghead of that if this is how you work.
I better stop before I have an aneurysm. I hate Microsoft.
If you think that them forcing a browser on you, or forced telemetry, or web-based logons are bad just wait until they enforce desktop in the cloud and remove any option to install Windows locally. Then you’ll truly have no control over what you do, what you install, you’ll be completely monitored, permenantly. There’s a reason workers (with some degree of integrity) are leaving MS as it’s crap like this thats on their roadmap.
It’s amazing how people convinced themselves they need all these platforms in their lives. Meta, X, TikTok, YouTube - they can do whatever they want to their users, and the users just take it.
I’ve learned to drop social media platforms as soon as they pull shit I’m uncomfortable with and live a happy life, somehow.
“They make communicating with your friends and family easier!”
Um, E-mail has been doing that since the dawn of the Internet. There is absolutely nothing at all that has made communicating any easier since even instant messaging. All that social media has turned into, is nothing but megaphones for the idiot masses.
They literally don't. X pushing things to the top of ur feed, Facebook polluting your timeline with random video shares, it all makes it harder to see the content you actually care about
I’ve just started going through and telling it not show me any of the recommended stuff.
It’s kind of fun watching the algorithm cycle through waves of guessing. “Ok it’s going to be all wrestling for the next two days. Hmm, that didn’t work, let’s try MMA for a couple days. No, alright, how about a bunch of memes about being a mechanic…”
On the other hand the clicking “don’t show me this” doesn’t seem to actually do anything. I’ve told it not to show me Pixie and Brutus at least three times.
Facebook before the algorithm was awesome. It was just the most recent stuff your friends did in that literal order. There was nothing wrong with it lol. Or at least I didn’t think so.
I do actually care about the content they “push”. Most fediverse apps are pointless to me exactly because they don’t have an algorithm. Unless you already know EXACTLY everything you’re interested in from the start, finding new stuff is the primary and best feature of the “algorithms”.
No they’re not… Those algorithms push stuff meant to manipulate you into making you click more. It doesn’t even expose you to anything new, just stuff you either already agree with or that makes you angry.
You want to find new stuff? Find or build a directory website. But wanting it found for you is the root of the problem. You don’t get to just be served in life.
What was better than e-mail? Instant messaging and AIM gave us that.
What was better than just instant messaging on your PC? Doing it on the go, on your phone. Great!
What was better than just instant messaging on the go and on PC? Being able to share content like video and pictures. Being able to make group chats and all.
My preferred method of communication is a good ol’ phone call, or an SMS to say things like “be there in 5.” I don’t really get the hype with a slew of different text based messaging platforms.
I was all about Signal until they dropped SMS support (totally understand why). None of the people in my life use signal except for the select few that enjoy their ahem extracurricular activities, so it’s kinda moot. And I just don’t have the energy to crusade for people to give a rats ass about their privacy. If I need to have a combo that requires a degree of discretion, I just do it in person.
i use the phone (ya know.. for its original and intended purpose) for nearly all 'not face to face' communication. i don't even have data on my mobile and sms is disabled at the carrier.
But where else can I post a picture of my dinner and have millions of random strangers see it, thereby validating my personal fragile ego, before I even take the first bite?
Um, E-mail has been doing that since the dawn of the Internet.
I always see people saying “but I have some friends across the world and Facebook is the only way we can keep in contact because they don’t have a phone 😭😭😭”
Like… my guy. You both have email addresses and used them to create FB accounts. Cut out the middle man.
One big difference I see, between email and various messengers on the on side and social networks on the other side is, that emails are me pushing my information at people while a social network is supposed to be them pulling information from my feed. This allows me—when it works—to share stuff with people instead of potentially sending spam. Not all communication is a digital postcard. Social networks allowed a new form of communication. I enjoyed OG facebook until the first big privacy scandal. It was a (mostly) good thing and it was very accessible even then. I‘ve never got such a large part of my tribe on a pull service since then. Sure we all have messengers and groups and what not… but it is not the same. I dream of self-hosting something from the fediverse but we‘re not exactly young anymore and I doubt my tribe will assemble.
I'm not trying to defend what it has become but social media can be good to keep updated or in contact with people. You're not gonna email everyone pictures of your vacation or whatever. Or to keep up with people you don't see nearly as often as you'd like because of, well, life. People do take it way to far and either post way too much info or take everything too serious.
In my opinion, it’s a very passive way to keep in contact. It doesn’t require remembering people or interacting with them in any way. If you post photos, it shouldn’t be expected that people see them. If you post about a party, it’s not a replacement for an invite to people.
It’s shouting into the wind and then pushing the responsibility of that relationship to be on the person viewing the post to reply to it or like or whatever.
I got off social media for that exact reason, it was very seriously impacting my mental health. Now I may have fewer “friends” but the ones that do are the ones where we are important enough where we actively interact with each other.
I hate that it is now Meta’s, but WhatsApp is a damn practical app. I wouldn’t share as much with my social circles if it wasn’t that practical compared to emails.
After being on fediverse it’s been great how refreshing and natural real decentralized social media is rather than the astroturfed, money and soul sucking dreck that is the big corporate socials are.
I almost wish there was a way that we could encourage growth and somehow let it scale to critical mass through grants and donations. But eventually if the fediverse got to that size then there would be grifters and corporations to ruin our fun.
Right! The fediverse is 100% a happier place. I love Lemmy and Firefish and Pixelfed. I’m deleting Facebook as soon as I collect enough email addresses.
Much more customizable and in my opinion far easier to navigate, and for some reason way cuter. You can also download the app right from Firefish when you sign up, there’s no dealing with the app store. I don’t quite know but it’s super friendly, all sorts of strangers greeted me and followed me when I joined, which definitely didn’t happen with Mastodon. I just find it strangely adorable and full of cool people and very positive, and for some reason I don’t find Mastodon that way.
Yeah, I mean, Lemmy and other fediverse instances need to play their cards carefully. If they are to be the future, then they need to not cave into what has plagued the other social media platforms we’ve long used before them.
Thats not how any of this works though. Corpos and governments are free to spin up their own instances of any federated service right now. It is the future, but the future is small bubbles that communicate with each other. So we don’t have to be on Meta’s instance, or Wal-Mart’s, or even the US’s national instance. We can stay where we are and keep it like this.
Some people really can’t grok this. I remember trying to explain Diaspora to a friend several years ago, and he said “Yeah, but if Diaspora got as big as Facebook, then they would turn evil, too!”
I had to patiently re-explain how instances work, but I still don’t think he got it. We’ve been living with big corporations running the Web for so long that some people can’t even imagine it being any different, and that’s scary.
lt was so easy for me, personally. I have to reassert my own biases everytime I talk to someone about federation because it just makes sense to me. Its equivalent to a bunch of email servers talking to each other. I can send an email to whoever I want, as long as my provider has not blocked them or I myself have not. Picking an instance is like picking gmail/outlook/yahoo.
How well does that explanation work? When a bunch of people were migrating to Mastodon last year, I remember some were still very confused, even after the comparison to email.
With enough time and enough pressure, I think that the vast majority of people would figure it out, though. They figured out email, and if you tried to explain that to anybody in 1990, they would’ve looked at you like you had an extra head.
Tbh its hit or miss, and I’m all out after that. I’m too deep in the tech sauce to return my brain to 0 and explain it from the outside. So when people don’t get it after that I often just leave them to their walled gardens.
Absolutely, I only had FB and I was late to the game on that as well compared to others. I gave it up completely in 2016 thankfully right before the crazy political crap took over and never looked back. I did reddit which was fine because I didn’t know anyone and it let me actually follow everything I loved no matter how small it was. Now I am here because of what they pulled. Wonder how longer this place will last…
Hmm to be fair with YouTube you don’t think this is now a repository of incredibly valuable resources? If YouTube went down and we lost all videos, we would be losing many important resources, from historical documentaries no longer easily found in media, to guides on woodworking.
It’s a bit scary. Once you remove the crap, it’s an incredibly valuable library resource and time capsule.
Absolutely. There’s nothing special about YouTube’s frontend - it can be replicated by someone with no coding experience, in an afternoon, for free, via a Softaculous module. On the inside, it’s the Library of Alexandria. And unfortunately, it’s owned by a company that understands that reality only as a means to a nefarious end, which is to develop a detailed psychological profile on its users that can be sold to advertisers.
My hope is that the cost of server storage and delivery will become inexpensive enough that YouTube can be forked and maintained by a nonprofit like the Wikimedia Foundation, who sees user generated content as a means to the enrichment of human experience. I’m not optimistic though, the history of the Library of Alexandria is instructive.
There is already something like this via the Wayback Machine (who indeed do copies of video media but more typically VHS and other things) and things like the Russian Library genesis, which is kept in torrent format.
The problem really is that storage for video media is insane compared to storage of document or even photo data.
If people here haven’t read into it, it’s incredibly interesting to look into the way the Internet Archive works. In particular you have to begin to concern yourselves with how long it takes for HDs, SSDs, and other media to degrade in time.
The problem really is that storage for video media is insane compared to storage of document or even photo data.
Yep, and add to that, 500 hours of video is uploaded to youtube every minute & they serve over 2.5 billion monthly users. The scale really is unfathomable.
If people here haven’t read into it, it’s incredibly interesting to look into the way the Internet Archive works. In particular you have to begin to concern yourselves with how long it takes for HDs, SSDs, and other media to degrade in time.
Where can I read more about this? It sounds interesting.
Another super interesting story is about Marion Stokes, who recorded around 71000 cassettes worth of television media from 1975 to 2000s. She houses them in 9 apartments. I need to watch the documentary about her. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marion_Stokes
I remember I started reading about about this when I wondered what kind of media is “safe” for storage. It sounds like a simple question but it’s not. Digital media, unlike print media, is so easy to lose.
Sorry, I think you misunderstand that I’m talking about a large scale problem rather than a personal problem. Of course people can individually download videos to preserve.
Imagine losing YouTube’s videos next week. You would have effectively lost nearly two decades worth of media chronicling human and technological development (more if you take into account that YouTube has repositories of older media).
Someone described it like the Library Alexandria. In terms of density of information, I think the comparison is apt.
A good comparison that might be too old for some readers. Back in the 80s and 90s, the early internet was populated via usenet discussions. Google eventually bought this data and merged it into Google Groups. However Google Groups was disbanded. This meant that some archives can no longer be accessed because to do so requires some active component no longer in service. We have effectively lost gigantic chunks of early 90s internet history. A lot of this history was quite important in many facets of life.
I’m totally with you on that. That’s why I support the Internet Archive. But it’s important for people to realize that not everything on the Web is forever, so you should make backups. It is a large scale problem, but individuals can mitigate it. If there’s a copy of the file somewhere, then it can be preserved and archived.
I can only speak for myself but I’m not on Twitter because I deem it essential for my life and I can’t leave. The reason I’m not leaving is that these changes have had almost zero affect on me and quite frankly I just don’t care. Only change I had to make was to move from the Flamingo app to using it via browser which doesn’t really matter since I almost exclusively use it on my laptop anyways.
They only did it after all the nazis fled to their own site. Reddit changed the algorithm so their blatant rule breaking with stickies would stop flooding /r/all. Back at the peak I checked and it was 75% of the top few pages of all was just t_d. They changed how reddit worked instead of dealing with the rule breakers because they supported the nazis.
It would almost be better if they kept it because they agreed with it. In fact they don’t care about the content. They care about “engagement”, which is the same reason you got terrible content on Facebook, pre-Elon Twitter, etc. Anything that made clicks was good. Promoting hate because it’s profitable is one of those “banality of evil” moments.
Edit: I’m not saying post-Elon Twitter is better. He’s promoting hate for a different reason.
I never knew how much I needed Star Trek memes in my life until Stamets and The Picard Maneuver graced us with their presence. Walk with the prophets, my child.
I did at first, but I don’t miss it at all anymore. Too many assholes at this point. It stopped being useful a long time ago. Finding old Reddit threads can be helpful sometimes, but current Reddit is a shitshow.
I miss the niche content. Lemmy isn’t big enough yet to have sorted into big “stupid” subs vs smaller niche subs that tend to attract smarter and more well-informed users. The result is that the signal-to-noise ratio on Lemmy still kind of sucks and any comment thread is likely to consist of three quarters banal gibberish and condescending idiocy and maybe one quarter actually intelligent, thoughtful and informed opinion.
I rarely make a comment on Lemmy without pissing off people on all sides of any given issue, which tells me that Lemmy’s users aren’t really good at nuance or complexity.
When looking something up, especially technical product information the best answer is still often a reddit link. That will change in the future but it will take time.
Old.reddit is the only way yo access this information without account but i paradoxically cant wait for them to shut it down cause the quicker reddit completely dies the faster other places will become knowledge hubs.
Ehhh, even for that I’ve had issues, even before the API stuff. The solutions I came across either came from casual word of mouth on Discord, tutorials on GitHub or forums other than Reddit.
It never was the pinnacle of knowledge, i am not on many different forums and only in the last year have started to avoid internet search where possible but often neither google or bing have satisfying results with only a single reddit link that may have the answer.
One subreddit I still check occasionally is just for Skyrim mods made by one guy. This community of mere hundreds is wherever he makes his posts, and moving would annoy some of his Patreon supporters. The switching cost is high relative to the benefits of switching.
Wait until you need to read an answer to a technical question which was only answered on Reddit. Can’t wait when such pages will be replaced with Lemmy.
I was trying to find if is safe to mix LSD with energy drinks and the only place where someone was answering that was on reddit, restricted because is 18+ somehow. Had to use the tip given from OP to see it outside the app. The general consensus (because this shit can’t be properly researched) is that caffeine in general is not recommended with LSD.
I wouldn’t take drug-mixing advice from some rando on reddit or lemmy or any other similar site.
That being said, please limit yourself to one substance at a time, get some fentanyl test strips and narcan if you’re able, and always have a wingman with you. Assuming it’s possible where you live, buy your drugs from a regulated dispensary or at least a source you know and trust (whose source they trust).
Have fun, but stay safe. The times they are a changing…even weed has dangerous shit mixed in nowadays.
I mean , you can’t exactly go ask a doctor how to use lsd. Sometimes you just want to read up on something based on someone else’s personal experience. The website might be doing some dumb shit lately but it’s hard to replace the vast number of people who have answered exact questions you’re looking for. Lemmy just doesn’t have the 10+ year head start
Problem is, many otherwise good doctors are not very knowledgeable about illicit drugs, particularly those that are comparatively rare/aren’t a public health crisis (LSD, while popular, is kinda niche compared to meth and opioids).
A big chunk of the time you’re just going to get “Don’t use drugs”, simply because they don’t have much else to say about it, and don’t want you taking risks based on something they’ve said. Doesn’t mean don’t ask*, but know you may not get useful harm reduction information from Dr. F. Practitioner.
*That said there IS a risk that such a question can paint you as a potential drug seeker, and so create barriers to care if someone decides to add that to your chart when you were just trying to minimize risk.
I don’t actively use it either, but sometimes you’re trying to fix some esoteric error that no one has experienced since the existence of the Western Roman Empire and the only place where a solution exists is Reddit. In those cases I kinda have to visit that wretched hive.
Same. However, I have rarely been able to solve a technical problem with Reddit posts or comments. It’s a better source for random experiences about something.
For random technical problems with new software or hardware, Reddit quality is not as good as it used to be, IMHO.
For somewhat niche hobbies, like my mushroom growing, subjective experiences may be helpful to take into account. Reading dozens of different opinions about a problem in a hobby that has hundreds of different variables has its uses. (For example, if you want to test something specific, you can get an idea about the range of conditions to test.)
Bing! Here’s your kids noodle soup for the chickens :)
Ingredients
<span style="color:#323232;">▢ 2 teaspoon olive oil
</span><span style="color:#323232;">▢ 1 cup baby carrots, diced (can also use whole peeled carrots)
</span><span style="color:#323232;">▢ ¼ teaspoon each: garlic powder, onion powder
</span><span style="color:#323232;">▢ ⅛ teaspoon salt, celery salt, turmeric powder
</span><span style="color:#323232;">▢ 1 teaspoon chicken base
</span><span style="color:#323232;">▢ 32 oz chicken broth
</span><span style="color:#323232;">▢ 1 cup cooked chicken, diced small
</span><span style="color:#323232;">▢ 1 cup Kluski Noodles (up to 1 ½ cups) Can use other types of noodles, just adjust the cooking time for your noodle type
</span>
Instructions
<span style="color:#323232;">In a large pot, over medium/medium-low heat, saute the carrots in the oil for 3-4 minutes.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">Stir in the garlic powder, onion powder, salt, celery salt, and turmeric powder.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">Pour in the chicken broth and add the chicken base, stir to combine.
</span><span style="color:#323232;">Turn the heat up to medium/medium-high, and bring the pot to a simmer. Add the noodles and chicken, cook for 12-15 minutes, until the noodles are cooked thru.
</span>
Service charge I would presume is primarily paid out to the non-wait staff at the restaurant. The kitchen in particular.
Tips go to the wait staff, and they will pay some of that out to other staff (e.g. front staff) depending on how the restaurant works.
These are going to be separate. The service charge is there so they can increase prices by a tightly controlled amount without needing to fuck up the carefully targeted price points ($8 or $7.99 is a lot better than $9.44). Which is shitty, to be clear: it’s a hidden way to increase prices while still advertising the same price. But it’s not something that replaces or complements the tip, it’s just a shitty price-adjustment.
A waiter or waitress is still going to be dependent on the actual tip.
pay them , what You want to ... And increase the price on your menu ... BUT DO NOT STICK 😞 YOUR CUSTOMER WITH A HIDDEN FEE ...
Especially when we(customers) HAVE to pay tip 😉 ... {{ Like 'TF was the person who came up with the hidden fee even thinking... 😞🤔 ? }}
Because that’s not how it works in America. You know this. Don’t ask a question; it’s stupid. Declare your intention that it should be changed, and propose a way to do it.
If you actually care more than posting online, you can start a restaurant.
Is that really what Lemmy needs? Discussion on a topic that’s been hashed out a million times before? It would be more productive to talk about the weather than to keep circling the drain on this shit ad nauseam.
I feel like there's been plenty of discussion. Everyone knows it's a problem.
It continues to happen because there's no pressure to change it. Just discussions that fall into the abyss of the internet at this point, repeating things everyone already knows.
Part of the reason there's less pressure to change it than you might imagine is that we now have a hundred years of cultural inertia working on, yes, the customers and restaurants, but also on the waitstaff labor pool. At this point, the Americans who seek work as waiters are generally the ones who feel they work with the system and even turn it to their advantage. It's far from all, of course, but the "best" servers at most restaurants probably feel like they're going to make more working the customers than negotiating with their bosses.
So, you've got restaurants keeping their list-prices low and a built-in workforce motivator, customers who expect friendly service and accept that they're culturally responsible for the staff's pay, and servers who stay at the job because they feel like they'll make more than the restaurant would be willing to pay as a "fair" wage (and they're probably right). Now, it's full-on bizarre that we have taken an entry level service job and made it an exercise in theatrical entrepreneurship, and it says some unsettling things about the underlying social order in the US, but I'm not sure that at the nuts-and-bolts level, it's as broken as the people like to imagine.
I hear this repeated so often and it ignores one glaringly obvious fact, servers aren’t the ones making any decisions…literally anywhere. They are the absolute bottom rung of decision-making. It is most definitely the restaurants that are just fine paying as little as possible. Servers do love mandatory gratuity however. Working a party of 10 when only one person tips on their own meal can mess up your whole night.
Point to your credit here: it’s illegal in this state to pay less than minimum wage whether the employee is tipped or not. ALL workers make at least $15.74/hr here, except for 14 and 15 year olds who can be paid 80% of minimum wage.
If I share the little green pieces of paper, I can afford a used Toyota. If I keep them all to myself, I can buy a new Cadillac and drive past my starving workers in style.
Especially nowadays with so many people looking up menu prices online before going somewhere, it's a way to present your prices as lower than they actually are.
That’s a good question, and the easy answer is ‘they should.’ As the commenter above you mentioned, they use it as a tactic to advertise the same (competitive to other local restaurants) price people are used to. A more transparent way of doing business would be raising the price of the menu items to compensate staff fairly. The restaurant owners/management fear that if they do this it would drive away customers who believe the food is overpriced and look to their competitors. It’s easy to say, ‘just pay the staff a fair wage,’ but not quite as easy in practice. Most restaurants are small businesses just barely scraping by. The OP is right to be annoyed, but as always, context and a basic understanding of a situation’s underlying principles make the easy answer difficult to implement.
I worked in restaurants for years and this is the correct answer. I also die a little inside at how many posts say to pay servers a living wage but then balk at the idea of paying extra for the meal. Where else would the money come from??! As you said, if they raise menu prices, their competition will undercut and do this. It would also affect takeout prices where tips are usually lower. People hate tipping and want a magic solution where waiters make more but also nobody’s charged more.
They would still have to add that living wage cost to the food prices. Hidden or not hidden only makes a difference in how surprised you are, not the cost.
Because liberal mystification with fancy-sounding concepts made to make you feel dumb so you don’t realize it’s just creative surplus labor value expropriation
Or they can get a less shitty employer. I see a hidden “service” fee, that’s the tip, take it to up with the owner, I’m not responsible for this. Restaurant staff really need to start directing their anger and efforts at their employer instead of customers.
Ya… That doesn’t seem realistic to me. Very few people will “direct their anger” toward someone with power over them. There’s always risk in a addressing issues with your employer because they can make your life worse. They can fire you, reduce your income or working hours, become inflexible with scheduling and demands, remove benefits, etc. No, it doesn’t always go this way and there are plenty of fine employers. But even if you have a reasonable employer and are free to raise concerns, there’s still risk and confrontation.
And what about alternate employers? Restaurant staff can go find a better employer, right? Except, job searches are very difficult and it’s near impossible to identify a good employer from a bad one while interviewing. Very real chance that you make a change and end up with more problems.
Don’t get me wrong. These hidden fees are 100% bs. It’s just not the employee’s responsibility to fix things. They usually have zero power in these situations. “Be good to the customer or I won’t get a tip. Be good to the employer or I won’t be scheduled to work.”
It’s not my responsibility to tip on top of a hidden 18% fee as the customer, either. That’s the point I was making. Waitstaff love to direct their anger at customers, as if it’s the customers fault. The employee does have the power to organize, campaign, and vote for politicians who could enact policy to make their situation better. Instead, they just bitch about customers somehow being terrible people because their employer doesn’t pay them a living wage.
Biden was in the news saying he wants to get rid of hidden fees. I was surprised that restaraunts weren’t on the list of industries being targeted. This kind of fee should be illegal. It should be required to be a part of the up-front price.
Hell, I feel the same about sales tax. It should be baked in to the price you see on the shelf or menu.
Thank you for posting this you are correct the fee goes to the restaurant and they use the money to pay the back of house. In my experience it is just so the restaurant can provide the same wages as before to back of house but not out of the restaurants pocket. This tends to result in people tipping less so the server directly makes less money. There is also often no accounting/oversight into how the restaurant uses the fee. If I recall correctly the city of Los Angeles is looking into the legality of how these fees are presented to the customer and the fact there is no oversight.
Owner wants to get his cut, server wants to put gas in their car. We’re a country of 350 million attempted unique make it rich stories and it’s a goddamn mess.
We need UBI and jobs programs aka Trek after WW3…but I fear we may have to fight the war to get it
The S in MSRP is “suggested”, so I don’t see any technical problem with it. I think we need a separate term if it’s meant to be a locked price point across sellers.
If you raise the price of everything by 18% the prices on the menu will be 18% higher, possibly discouraging people from eating there. If you add it at the end people will still choose to eat there at least once. It is practically the same as raising prices, just a lot more dishonest.
Also illegal. It’s called bait and switch. Advertise one price, provide the service, then change the price. What if you went to get $50 in gas, and after you put the nozzle back the price suddenly changed to $59. Unless there’s a very visible sign saying it would happen before you started pumping, it’s illegal.
I’m sure that they have a sign by the front stating that they do this. Probably on the menu as well. I doubt that most people are doing the math themselves and are more likely to see a $10 menu item and think it’s $10 + tax and fees. Basically the extra fees are an afterthought.
Because raising the price of everything lets you know ahead of time that you are paying more. I’m fine with a price hike if it means servers get better pay, but hiding it like this is scummy and borderline fraudulent.
It isn’t hidden. They tell you upfront there is an 18% charge, however they rely on people ignoring that or psychologically not caring and only looking at the item price.
I wonder how many people would see the warning and assume it just means an 18% auto gratuity? Because that’s very common and the amount is exactly what many auto gratuities have (or at least had when I last was in the US, which was several years ago). Because if I saw something saying there was an 18% service fee, that’s what I’d assume. I would not think there’d be a tip on top of that.
That said, the US custom of not including the final price (including taxes) in the posted prices is a shitty, toxic practice and should be illegal.
I saw elsewhere that workers are suing this restaurant over this specifically. If they are doing a service charge like this it should not be revenue generating to the restaurant.
It does make sense to increase all menu prices in order to pay higher wages, but it’s a sleazy dishonest practice to hide that increase from the customers until it’s too late.
It’s getting stupid in Canada too despite our laws being different (as in, you cannot make less than minimum wage if you work in a place that allows tips).
I got my oil changed a few months ago and the machine prompted me for a tip. For what? The mechanic did their job, I paid for said job. Transaction concluded.
I tried Crumbl cookies for the first (and last, holy crap overpriced) time. Got asked for a tip. For what? I got six cookies in a box and then had to leave the store because there’s no seating to eat them there. The person who helped me took my order. That’s it. Another employee put six cookies in a box and put them on a counter and said my number. Not a lot of wiggle room to go “above and beyond.”
What’s next? A tip at the grocery store for the cashier scanning my groceries? A tip at the drive-thru?
Here’s a tip. Don’t work for an employer who doesn’t pay you what you’re worth.
EDIT: Actually, the tip at the drive-thru is already a thing. Starbucks prompts for a tip at the drive-thru. For what? The barista took my order and made my coffee. I drove up to a window, took it, and fucked off.
I booked a hotel online the other day and was asked if I want to leave a tip… A tip for what? I didn’t even interact with a human. Just clicked a few buttons on a website. Am I tipping the web developer?? Lol
As a developer, I never get tips. Even on my open-source stuff, I have a “tip jar” PayPal link on the very bottom of my readme files. Never asked, never required. Know how much I’ve made in tips over the years? Exactly $0.
I know it feels gross, but asking is how you get people to do things. This is true for pretty much everything. That’s why mobile apps have a popup asking people to leave a rating, and Apple even has a standardized API for showing that popup since it’s so common.
So you should try something similar for you projects. Come up with an (ideally non-intrusive) ask that feels like a personal request rather than just a link dumped somewhere in a readme.
And if you feel bad about it, just remember that getting people to pay for OSS is a win for the whole ecosystem!
Superautomatic machines make inferior espresso shots objectively. For various mechanical reasons they will never make espresso as well as non-automatic machine.
That being said, I own one at my house. It’s very convenient and it’s passable espresso (when using decent beans, Starbucks burns their espresso beans and that’s the main reason it sucks). However, if I’m paying $5+ for a couple shots of espresso in whatever form I’m expecting it to be made right. Not worse than my mid range home machine makes with a couple button taps.
It clearly doesn’t suck or there wouldn’t be one on every street corner in North America.
But I’m sure you’re right about the automation. They don’t want variability in your experience. They want a coffee in Texas to taste the same as a coffee in Iqaluit.
In the US you generally cannot make less than minimum wage, the employer can directly pay you less as long as your full compensation (pay + tips) are at least minimum wage, if not they are supposed to pay more.
I think the explosion of tip questions is due to the card processors figuring out there was an untapped area where they could pressure people to tip and skim off a percentage of that.
I think you misunderstood. In some states, you will be paid below minimum wage if you make enough in tips. IIRC there was a story a number of years ago about servers in Tennessee (?) only making $2.15/hr. It was legal because they made enough in tips to cover the other $5.10/hr that the restaurant is supposed to pay. So instead of the tips being extra cash on top of pay, the restaurants were literally having the customers subsidize the majority of their pay.
I understand that, but I’m talking about Canada. In Canada if you’re paid $13, $18, hell $50 an hour, it doesn’t matter whether or not you make tips. Your employer must pay you your full hourly wage no matter what.
Listen to this scam.
I stopped at a Starbucks kiosk to get my kid a juice box the other day. When I paid for it by card the card machine prompted for a tip, 25%, 20%, and 15%. Here’s the kicker, 25% was selected by default! You actually have to use button on the machine to move through the selections to get to NONE. To top it off the lady behind the counter casually said, “Oh you’re using a card? Just press the green accept button when the menu comes up.” which would have selected the 25 option.
Absolutely no surprise there. When you keep the barrier to entry low and throw in an algorithm to increase “engagement” via outrage, the soup turns to poison quickly.
This is why every time someone says the Fediverse is “too confusing,” I just smile and nod. That attitude of petulant, lazy, self-imposed gatekeeping is what’s keeping the Fediverse a much nicer place to be.
The default “Local/Active” sort algo needs to be tweaked. It makes it look like there are no new posts for days. If you use All with Top Day, Hot or New there’s way more going on.
I don't really think it's fair to pretend that, before two weeks ago, anyone under god had any idea what an instance was unless they were already heavily tech-oriented.
It took me hours of trying to read through not-my-kind-of-jargon to understand what the hell I was looking at and what kind of consequences that unexplained choice would have, and it really seems like a good number of users that initially struggled forget the learning curve extremely quickly the moment they're over it.
It took me hours of trying to read through not-my-kind-of-jargon to understand
I started off going down that road of trying to understand it, but my laziness and impatience got in the way and said "just start using it and you'll work it out." And that's exactly what happened for me. In a way, the explanations made it all sound much more confusing than it really is. Sometimes you just gotta take a deep breath and dive in.
Honestly, you're right, and I think the analysis paralysis that the fediverse immediately presents isn't really helped by the fact I'm just generally a neurotic person. Wanting/NEEDING to understand how every aspect of something works and why lends itself really well to things like linguistics and biology, but I feel bothered when I skip the tutorial in a game I already know. What if I missed something and I'll never be able to figure out how buttons work.
Don't worry, I hear ya! I'm currently 4.9 hours in on my first run of the story game, Detroit. People in the reviews say it is a short game and they have less than 3 hours playtime ... but I don't wanna miss any narrative or clues! haha!
I joined Mastadon in December and that's when I first tried to understand it all. I researched a server to join and it was right confusing ... what if I picked the wrong one? Then I pretty much abandoned the account because I didn't understand how to stay on my own server while browsing around (also didn't help that I'd never used Twitter either, so I didn't actually know what I sposed to be doing lol).
Then the whole reddit debacle happened and I signed up for a Lemmy & Kbin. And there was all the jargon again. But I think because I was actually jumping ship from reddit, this time I wanted my move to have staying power. So it was unusual for me to "skip the tutorial" but I was getting so frustrated with the jargon, while I could see others were already having conversations. And it was through the participation that the jargon finally defined itself. I even use my mastodon now, as well!
Oh, I never realized the storylines in Detroit were that short. I'm exactly like you, and I've also found that the more games I play at once, the less I enjoy any of them. So my hands are a bit tied in terms of backlog and that one's been on the backburner for...years, now that I think of it. But That bumps it up my list considerably if I can 100% it in like 3 days.
I was very close to giving the fuck up initially, though. You know what the biggest encouragement was when I was signing up? When I was looking through the comments on kbin, someone said all the hoops would keep the idiots out, and I will put in a _lot _ more energy if it means both showing off and being where the idiots aren't. I'd say having a barrier there really has done some good for the overall quality (for now), but the people claiming it's good to make sign-ups as hard as possible are sometimes the same people claiming there isn't a barrier at all, and it comes off as very strange elitism.
Reading the explanations and advice people were giving to each other made a whole lot more sense than anything the internet was handing me, but even some of that could be head-scratching, and hands-on is probably the best way to go. Not without its dangers. I still think I got incredibly lucky to end up on an instance I like this much. Imagine having admiration for the dev for once.
I never realized the storylines in Detroit were that short.
quick Google search tells me average play-thru time is 12hrs and completionist is 32hrs, so I dunno what I was looking at. I'm 5hours in, so it remains to be seen whether it's gonna take me 32hours or 64hours minimum. 🤣 You'll have to forgive me, it's the steam sale so I've been looking at lots of games. Not that I need any more because I've probably only ever touched a quarter of my library, if that!
someone said all the hoops would keep the idiots out,
Yeah I liked that take as well. That layer of jargon really is a fantastic filter.
It was a case of: Lemmy.ml isn’t accepting new users atm BeeHaw requires me to tell them why I’m a good user So does this other instance… Why do I have to justify myself!? Hey, Lemmy.world let’s me just sign up! Perfect!
And that was how I chose an instance. Thank you for joining story got with Valek
Decision paralysis is real even for stupid things. Like, “what are the implications if I pick the wrong instance?” Was something that made me put off finishing signing up for mastodon and I’m not embarrassed to admit it. Acting like it’s trivial isn’t helpful to anyone even if it was trivial or you
Yeah decision paralysis definitely delayed my joining any ActivityPub based sites, but really most of what it affects is stuff that wont matter until you’ve spent enough time on the platform to understand the difference to begin with
I know I’m an old school techie, but was there really a high entry bar for lemmy compared to say twitter or Instagram? I honestly don’t know, other than r3dd!t the last social media I signed up for was what? Facebook well over a decade ago?
If the few steps it took to make a user name, pick an instance, and then get my head around the fact that I had to also join any instance I wanted to respond to, is enough to keep the unwashed internet masses out, well, they are just even dumber than I already thought.
Many people genuinely give up at the “pick an instance” stage.
Part of it is a slight failing for not blasting “if you join any of these instances you can respond to posts on any of these imstances’ communities” but also the level of tech literacy has fallen off of a cliff post-smartphone world.
Bolstering technology literacy (I’m talking simple things like: what is a file browser, where do things you download go by default, what are some common file types for music/videos/applications) need to be added to public education because there’s clearly a decline happening here that will have downstream ramifications.
I’d say it’s less so a decline and moreso a lack of literacy to begin with. The number of relatives I have that are fucking stupid with the internet is insane. And surprise the kids are just as stupid with tech, since the parents are dumb and companies made tools for them and the kids.
Yeah, I think the late 20th century and then some of the 00s were a sweet spot where there was finally cool stuff to do with tech, but you still needed to learn some skills to do them. Though even those skills were pretty basic.
I remember a kid in high school coming to me to see if I’d burn him a custom CD and he’d pay me and I was surprised because I thought it was all pretty basic shit that all it took was trying to figure it out. Though on the other hand, that was during the era where many discs were lost to buffer underflow and you had to be patient enough to not really use your computer for anything else while a CD was burning at like 2x speed (the hardware would go faster but then the underflow was more likely).
Though in hindsight, that might have just been my family’s shitty computer at the time. My dad was semi tech savvy but generally bought shitty computers, compaqs with Celeron CPUs and no graphics card. Though we did at least have a dedicated 56k line (which would only get speeds of like 48k, though later when the line was switched I do remember seeing the occasional 64k which confused me because I thought 56k was the fastest a connection could be).
I used to think the next generation was going to out code, design, and trouble shoot me in five years, and that the one after that would make me feel like a dinosaur in my 30s.
Now I’m almost 50, and the army of tech savvy teens coming for my job simple hasn’t materialized. With the ease of use of so many devices, a world where “plug and play” actually exists, the effort and skill requirement for most things has gone way down. On top of that, the battle for attention is so great that there is always something easier to go play with, and if it requires a bit of noodling to make it work, screw it.
For a bit I thought “Great, job security!”, but now I’m at the point where I need to think about finding interns and replacements, and unless they come from one of the historic tech pipelines like PC gaming or the makers community, not a lot of kids have that kind of background.
There are great programs now in the schools for making app, 3D printing, graphics, music, etc, that draw kids into technology. However, like everything else it’s all slick and user friendly. You don’t have to spend hour after hour figuring out how to make the thing work.
I watched my two year old nephew trying to swipe on the pictures in a magazine and was confused why they didn’t move. He was basically born with an ipad in his hands.
I agree completely that a basic computer class covering those things and more should be standard in schools. Now we have niche tech courses akin to the woodshop and autos class of my high school, but they are electives, and don’t cover the fundamentals.
Non-techy guy here. I read an infograohic and made an account. 0 issues whatsoever. And the infographic was just to help me understand how it works. You don’t really need to understand lemmy to interact with it
Because stating a wrong fact is the fastest way to get the right answer?
So, if I have an account on one instance, and I want to login / reply to another, how do i do that. I’m using the liftoff app.
I take it I shouldn’t have more than one instance login? Don’t worry, at this point I’ve only got two, it really didn’t seem right when I was making the second one.
Yeah I dove into Lemmy and Mastadon with very little research and even Mastodon with its “pick an instance you like first” step was extremely easy. I ended up on smaller instances for both and honestly I like it. Best part is, if you feel some FOMO either make another account on another instance or in the case of Mastadon export your account and migrate it to the new instance
Man I’d love that. I feel like we will soon honestly. I just hope the lemmy/Kbin apps bring these other federated projects inside, so we can do it all on one app too.
The Matrix but they use the Matrix protocol on a The Matrix themed Matrix IRC channel talking about talking about The Matrix in the Matrix protocol in a The Matrix themed Matrix IRC channel (woops sorry that is the Matrix 2 I think my bad)
There’s also a way to add matrix usernames to Lemmy accounts, so it’s possible to make an app that ties the two together. Is that a feature people would care about?
My first instinct would be to say, "This is the 21st century, learn to use a damn computer already!" But then I think of the long term and WANT people to think it's too hard to join Mastodon or Kbin, just to keep the average IQ of these sites above room temperature.
IMO if technical difficulty is the filter, it would actually only select for people good at computers. There are otherwise dumb, shallow people who are good at tech.
(I’m not saying its difficult using lemmy, just replying to the idea in general)
This this this. The fediverse being “confusing” keeps the idiots, boomers, trolls, and overall horrible people away. Having to learn something new is too much for those people. Lemmy/Mastodon and so on are “nerd” platforms, and I really like it that way.
Easy on the boomer stuff. You just lumped “horrible people” into the same group as regular people that happen to have lived more years than you. If you are looking for a “nerd” platform, you’ll do well to remember that there are a ton of extremely nerdy boomers out there and you just helped turn the soup to poison for them
Honestly Reddit doesn’t infuriate me anymore. I haven’t been on reddit for 2 weeks now and I no longer feel the urge to check that site. I expect I’ll still end up there occasionally when I search for stuff, but gone are the days when I spend an hour or two every night on reddit.
The quality of the posts being worse makes sense, I’m guessing some of the Reddit power users moved here and they were generating the majority of quality OC on Reddit.
I also feel like it's become more right wing. Or at least now that some people have left, the balance has shifted further to the right. I went on yesterday, and r/WhitePeopleTwitter, a fairly left wing sub, is now having a lot of Republicans. Really killed my desire to go back. It was something I know a lot of people predicted would happen, but still sad in a way to see.
Edit: Also the fact that the main niche subs I went to are dead. They used to be pretty active, but since they reopened, a lot of users were not happy. So now it's a post every few days. I think one of the subs just got completely deleted. Sadly they're not as active here.
Same for me. When RIF stopped working I went into Lemmy and haven’t went on Reddit since. The FOMO I thought I’d get isn’t there because I’m active and welcome here. I have people to connect with, and that’s what I really only wanted out of a social site like this.
There’s still quite a few subreddits I miss. Plus the larger community. Some communities are here, but they’re dead with no users, and I don’t really have what to contribute.
I wanted to try listing all of them, but I realized there’s like 40 of them.
Mostly, I miss r/batteries, r/ElectroBOOM, r/linuxmint, r/ManjaroLinux, r/LinuxMasterrace, r/SpaceXMasterrace, r/pcmasterrace, r/computers, r/laptops, r/amateursatellites, r/whatisthisthing and r/RTLSDR which also had cool people like developer of noaa-apt and Ryzerth, the developer of SDR++, plus many more.
Edit: Oh, how could I forget dereksgc, another cool guy who puts out lots of useful info.
I can leave the larger community, but I do miss a couple subreddits.
The good thing about the Reddit before the dark times of 3 weeks ago, was that it had a large enough user graph that there were enough people with niche interests to have an active community. Facebook also has this critical user graph.
The good thing about ActivityPub based communities is that there is the potential to have much larger federated user graphs than the individual closed business-based platforms.
The only sub I go to now is my local city’s subreddit for a good stream of local news and happenings. That hasn’t migrated to Lemmy yet and I don’t want to moderate it so I’m not making it here lol
No no, I mean he’s talking into the top of the phone, perhaps where the loudspeaker microphone might happen to be, totally depends on the model of phone/tablet though.
They got multiple microphones these days, not just the one at the bottom of the phone. Put it in loudspeaker mode and it uses a different microphone away from the bottom speaker.
Any which way, if you turn the phone upside down in portrait orientation, the screen won’t flip 180⁰, because ‘smart’ phones are too stupid to do that.
Edit: My comment is in jest, but at the same time I have to talk into the left side of my tablet, because thats where the main microphone is.
It’s a very funny joke. A white flag was literally their flag. It caused some issues when they tried to surrender and kept getting shot. So, they had to up their design game.
As it turns out, the majority of folks are just people trying to get by, and if you're nice enough to them, they'll be nice enough to you.
The problem with most terminally online people is that their social lives ended when they left school, which is when the population of arseholes is at its highest. Everybody is trying to impress everybody else, even at the cost of others.
But a lot of those same people tend to chill off as they mature into adults and become less self-centred. There are still absolutely arsehole adults, but nowhere near as many as the terminally online expect there to be.
What I observed was people willing to throw someone off a balcony simply because he set the curve. People are either murderers, or murderer-enablers.
When people start punishing abusers to the point where it stats looking like a holocaust, maybe then they can be redeemed. Until the abusers are traumatized into submission, there will be no justice.
I’ve seen multiple therapists - but therapizing me doesn’t stop other people from abusing me. Getting people to stop is the only goal, the only way I can survive.
If the people around you are really that bad, leave that place and lay low. Has your dominance thing actually improved the situation, or has it brought more conflict?
Moving is what started this whole mess; moving made me an “invader” that “didn’t belong” to where he was moved to. That’s why people are wiling to kill me to get rid of me.
I am laying low, but I’ve been in the same spot longer than anyone else around here - it’s the only reason I’m still alive today.
And it’s not “my” “dominance thing” - it’s part of human nature and it’s the source of the conflict. People demand that I grovel to them, be perfectly obedient to them, and I refuse.
Prove anything you’ve said. Share pictures of your several life threatening wounds. Share screenshots of your innumerable acts of kindness that were met with violence. Provide evidence of any of your unbelievable claims or GTFO
Punishment probably isn’t the best way to improve things. Even under your view of things, it should be clear that punishment does more to make the punisher feel good than actually solve problems.
It’s the only way to improve things. Things cannot improve until you stop people from making it worse - and the only way people will stop making things worse is if they’re too traumatized to act.
Things cannot get better as long as you let people have free will - their free agency will always drive them to worsen things for their own benefit. The power of free will corrupts them.
I sympathize with your pain but also holy fuck I hope you never get your way. I’ve seen what happens when people who think like you get power, they’re brutally abusive.
Believe it or not, most people will stop doing things if they are convinced that it isn’t in their self interest. The idea that trauma is effective at getting people to stop doing something is neither accurate or acceptable. Trauma could easily make some people lash out and cause even more damage. If there’s something we shouldn’t tolerate, it’s people who want to inflict unnecessary and unproductive harm on other people. It probably didn’t make you less of a threat.
You need help, and not just therapy. You would benefit from real life friends and positive interactions with people who treat you as an equal. Residential treatment might be a good idea if you haven’t done it before. Treatment will only work if you work with it. It’s assistance, not having the problem solved for you. You need to do some of the lifting.
You have my attention. A charged response like that deserves a moment of consideration at the Very least.
What experience or experiences brought you to this opinion?
i speak having come from a broken home, destroyed by alcohol. unwanted by my mother and never set eyes on my dad, abused physically and emotionally by said mother as she took her failures out on me…what i mean by that, is…I’ve been in the dark places and I still frequent dark thoughts. i was robbed of justice in a world that owes me nothing…I’ve felt my share of rage and misplaced entitlement. So when i ask you, what’s up? please do not think i am being dismissive nor combative. i genuinely would like to hear about ‘it’
What a fucking pant load. You’re so full of shit, it stinks.
the majority of folks are just people trying to get by, and if you’re nice enough to them, they’ll be nice enough to you.
Bullshit. The majority of people want to dominate everyone not in their immediate social circle. Go look up social dominance theory - it will tell you everything you need to know about how people really behave.
The problem with most terminally online people is that their social lives ended when they left school, which is when the population of arseholes is at its highest. Everybody is trying to impress everybody else, even at the cost of others.
But a lot of those same people tend to chill off as they mature into adults and become less self-centred. There are still absolutely arsehole adults, but nowhere near as many as the terminally online expect there to be.
And what magical fucking force forces people to “chill”?
They don’t. Because that magic doesn’t fucking exist. Only the trauma of punishment makes people stop abusing others. Without the threat of permanent injury on themselves, people will always try to permanently injure others as a means to dominate and control - at least for the sake of their social groups. That desperate need to dominate and control is what makes them human.
You are spreading self-aggrandizing lies; spreading an infection that will only cause more people to get more “uppity” and beat more innocent people to death. Stop lying about people and apologizing for their bloodlust. People are murderers, hunters for the only “game” still left - forcibly isolated human beings.
I wasted my entire life being kind to people, only to mock me for being so stupid, so gullible enough to fall for the con that they would be nice back. They beat me like they were mining for ore, driving blow after blow into my skull until it was permanently disfigured, and then they broke every bone in my limbs until they didn’t work anymore.
Don’t give me this horseshit about how people “chill out” - I did not get almost murdered over fifteen years by people who would simply magically stop being murderous because some timer ran out. No, those motherfuckers murdered as if it was a fucking religious mandate and they are the same type of assholes who tried to take over the U.S. on January 6th.
No one is ever going to acknowledge my humanity, no matter how kind I am, or what I do. I will always be seen as a “less than” because the ENTIRE human race are malignant narcissists - and there is an entire organization of psychologists and sociologists who reject the pro-human narrative and know exactly how evil people really are. Quit apologizing for rapists and murderers.
This is how I act in response to other people’s abuse. How will you ever learn not to abuse me if I don’t punish you myself? No one else will do it.
The fact is, it doesn’t matter how I act - you made up your mind to hate me as soon as you found out I exist and crammed me into your “other” pigeonhole. Your reactions are now completely detached from my behavior, and you’ll treat me like shit no matte how kindly I treat you, simply because you now assert I’m infinitely “less than” you. This is how you protect your fragile ego.
Why are you acting like these people here replying are your direct abusers?
Because not only is there nothing stopping them from doing the exact same thing my abusers did, those same abusers will force them to do it, or kill them if they resist. The entirety of society is a hierarchy of abuse - that’s it’s purpose, and enforced with an iron fist if necessary.
Do you not see how insane these words you are saying are?
Bullshit. It’s not “insane” - you’re just fucking ignorant and mentally lazy. You’re an enabler, pure and simple.
I’m sorry your life has been hard and seemingly full of abuse
No you’re not - as a human being, you’re not capable of being sorry for events that you ultimately benefit from. My social isolation clears the way for you - I cannot compete against you for resources because of being ostracized.
we are not those abusers.
You can’t not be those abusers, because you don’t have an alternate source from which to learn other behaviors. Your parents, and everyone of their generation were abusers too - and killed off everyone who wasn’t. No one is left alive to teach you how to not be abusive - that’s why exactly 100% of the people I grew up with abused me; the people who would have supported me are dead.
I don’t necessarily agree with your aggressive tone but I do agree with a lot of what you’re saying, this from someone who was treated like complete shit as a young adult, shit enough to leave me with trauma and a really bad fear of people.
I’ve seen what the worst side of people while being a soft kind and caring person. Anyone who believes what the other person said is pretty naive.
Unfortunately the aggressive tone is necessary to survive. If you give anyone an inch, they will interpret that lack of aggression as “weakness” and double-down on the assault, “going for the kill” in other words. The only way to keep the wolves at bay is to constantly lash out at their snout with something sharp; failure to do so and the pack lunges in.
I know where the anger is coming from - its coming from being treated unjustly my entire life - and knowing that everyone is willing to do anything up to committing suicide to continue to treat me unjustly, because they can’t live with themselves if they don’t. They think failure to be cruel to me proves that they are “weak” and unworthy of life.
As a target is not set up to miss it so the nature of evil does not exist in the world.
Is English not your first language? Because that’s not written correctly. The first clause does not relate to the second.
its coming from being treated unjustly my entire life
That’s not something in your control. What is in your control is whether you add to it, including by spreading bad vibes by being chronically miserable. Don’t be a slave to your past.
They think failure to be cruel to me proves that they are “weak” and unworthy of life.
If everyone, ever, looks like a narcissist to you then one of two things are true: a) You’re one yourself and are literally begging for that behaviour to be kept in check, or, b) you’re jaded beyond measure. Is there not a single person that doesn’t give you the creeps? You included, btw.
Is English not your first language? Because that’s not written correctly. The first clause does not relate to the second.
It isn’t, but yes it is written correctly. But the Epictetus translation I paraphrased it from is better, I agree:
As a mark is not set up for the sake of missing the aim, so neither does the nature of evil exist in the world.
spreading bad vibes by being chronically miserable
What the fuck is this bullshit? And what makes you think you don’t deserve the punishment?
Don’t be a slave to your past.
I’m not. I’m extrapolating the future from what I correctly learned from the past, and preparing for it.
If everyone, ever, looks like a narcissist to you then one of two things are true: a) You’re one yourself and are literally begging for that behaviour to be kept in check, or, b) you’re jaded beyond measure.
Oh, definitely B. But you’ll accuse me of being A, because you’re the narcissist. And I ABSOLUTELY do not anyone to “keep my behavior in check” - the entire point of this is to liberate my self from everyone else domination and desire to enslave me. I am willing to hacksaw people’s hands off at the wrist to keep them off of me.
Is there not a single person that doesn’t give you the creeps? You included, btw.
“Creeps?” What planet are you on? People are beating me up - that’s not “the creeps”, that’s justified fear.
As a mark is not set up for the sake of missing the aim, so neither does the nature of evil exist in the world.
Again, that doesn’t make any sense. “Evil” has nothing to do with “missing a mark”; evil is defined as the will and desire to dominate others. That nature does exist; psychology relegates it to Cluster B of the set on personality disorders.
What the fuck is this bullshit? And what makes you think you don’t deserve the punishment?
You don’t deserve the reaction you’re trying to coax out of me. You’re trying to elicit it so that you can be reinforced in your beliefs, so that you can continue to say “see, it’s true, everybody hates me, everyone is an enemy”. But no amount of flailing will make me hate you. Best I can do is tickle you into submission, sorry.
And, yes, my intent here is to dominate and my methods are manipulative. What’s the motive, though?
You don’t deserve the reaction you’re trying to coax out of me. You’re trying to elicit it so that you can be reinforced in your beliefs, so that you can continue to say “see, it’s true, everybody hates me, everyone is an enemy”.
No, I’m not. I’m trying to teach you about your own nature, so you can correct it.
What’s the motive, though?
The same motive all narcissists have - you’re trying to “prove” your “better” than I am to hide from your own insecurity. You’re trying to hide some secret shame from others - and you’re willing do anything, including kill, to do so.
You do not know anyone’s nature but your own. You cannot assume anyone’s behavior except your own. By definition, you are entirely wrong, because your entire conception is based upon assumptions about people you’ve never met and likely never will. You are definitively the narcissist in this thread, making everything about you. You need to pull the tapeworm out of your ass.
Bullshit. Humanity’s common nature is a fact of psychology.
And I don’t need to meet every “individual” of a species every member of which compulsively tries to destroy their - and everyone else’s - individuality. You bastards hate individuality - that’s why you compulsively abuse everyone who’s different than you. That’s what bigotry is - and everyone’s a bigot.
Humanity’s common nature, beyond the last few hundred years, is actually one of mutual aid and cooperation. I’d encourage you to look into the various Peoples Histories of the various parts of the world. It is increasingly clear the more data is gathered that the current system of elevating greed, avarice, selfishness etc, is a historical outlier on a history that stretches back hundreds of thousands of years of people collectively cooperating.
Humanity’s common nature, beyond the last few hundred years, is actually one of mutual aid and cooperation.
That is only true for people INSIDE their social circles.
INSIDE, jackass.
Everyone OUTSIDE is prey - that’s why they’re “outside”.
I know “the various Peoples Histories of the various parts of the world” BETTER THAN YOU DO! I actually read the books and did the homework - you’re the type of delinquent who copied off of me. I spent my life studying sociology and anthropology just to figure out why you motherfuckers hate me so much.
What life-threatening condition made you research sociology?
It is increasingly clear the more data is gathered that the current system of elevating greed, avarice, selfishness etc, is a historical outlier on a history that stretches back hundreds of thousands of years of people collectively cooperating.
What a load of horseshit. Narcissists are in complete control of the Earth and have been since before the feudal era - don’t hand me this bullshit about how effective “people collectively cooperating” are. I’ll believe “people collectively cooperating” matter when they start carving up narcissists like it’s a deli counter.
Now you’re asserting more and more to me. I’ve read plenty of books, we could go through some we’ve read if you really want to. Have you read Graeber and Wengrow’s “Dawn of Everything: A New History of Humanity”? How about Paulo Freire’s “Pedagogy of the Oppressed”? They’re pretty popular books, I wouldn’t be surprised if you have, but if not I’d recommend them. Do you have any recommendations for me?
No, I’m not. I’m trying to teach you about your own nature, so you can correct it.
I know my nature thank you very much. And what do you mean with “correction”? Do you want me to be an asshole? You also don’t need to worry about me: I’m peaceful, not harmless. In fact, you can’t really be peaceful if you’re harmless, in that we agree I think.
The same motive all narcissists have - you’re trying to “prove” your “better” than I am to hide from your own insecurity. You’re trying to hide some secret shame from others - and you’re willing do anything, including kill, to do so.
That’s not a narcissistic motive. Narcissists feel shame when they, inadvertently, do something nice same as others feel shame when they inadvertently hurt. Their moral instincts are flipped and their function in society is to keep the rest on our toes. They’re the empty space directly around the mark so the mark is easier to see. Their purpose in life is to be a warning example. In that way they serve good.
Playing over fears is a thing every human is prone to, no matter the neurological makeup. It’s either a function of pride, to which the antidote is humility, or urgency/stress, to which the antidote is taking your time, avoiding snap judgements… or it’s foolhardiness. Courage, OTOH, is not playing over but actually overcoming fear, usually out of wisdom, the queen of the virtues, able to bring opposing instincts into mutually agreeable concord. That’s adaptation without the “mal-” in front.
And I don’t care about whatever shame the assholes put into you. Keep it to yourself, you deserve kindness regardless. The question is whether you’re willing to look beyond it and become receptive to kindness, or whether you carry it around as a shield because giving it up would invoke the ire of people you are, as I gather, no longer under the direct thumb of.
No you don’t. You actively try to be ignorant of it, because you don’t want to know the horrible truth.
And what do you mean with “correction”? Do you want me to be an asshole?
The correct is stopping you from being an asshole.
You also don’t need to worry about me: I’m peaceful, not harmless.
I’m not your gullible mark. I’ll worry about you as I see fit - not as you dictate.
In fact, you can’t really be peaceful if you’re harmless, in that we agree I think.
No we don’t - I can’t even make sense of this line.
That’s not a narcissistic motive. Narcissists feel shame when they, inadvertently, do something nice same as others feel shame when they inadvertently hurt. Their moral instincts are flipped and their function in society is to keep the rest on our toes. They’re the empty space directly around the mark so the mark is easier to see. Their purpose in life is to be a warning example. In that way they serve good.
This is directly contrary to even the wikipedia entry, much less the therapists I see. You’re just full of shit.
And I don’t care about whatever shame the assholes put into you. Keep it to yourself, you deserve kindness regardless. The question is whether you’re willing to look beyond it and become receptive to kindness, or whether you carry it around as a shield because giving it up would invoke the ire of people you are, as I gather, no longer under the direct thumb of.
I have nothing to be ashamed of. I never stopped being receptive to genuine kindness - I stopped being receptive to obvious, bald-faced lies and other bad faith behavior. I stopped being receptive to the idea that people can be genuine instead of being continuous, compulsive liars. I stopped being a sucker, and started being a skeptic - and I never took anything anyone said at face value again.
Human beings are incapable of being genuine to those they do not consider their equal. I have been branded infinitely beneath all others, a brand enforced by society itself. No one will ever interact with me in good faith - and nothing anyone can say will change my mind.
I’m not your gullible mark. I’ll worry about you as I see fit - not as you dictate.
Oh this is very interesting. I meant you do not need worry about my safety. As you seemed to be keen on “curing” me of my “naive” ways, convincing you of yours, seeing the whole world as nothing but enmity. It didn’t even occur to me that it could be read the other way around. How did you come to that interpretation?
No we don’t - I can’t even make sense of this line.
Someone who is harmless has no way to defend themselves. They will be afraid little tiny chihuahuas throwing their ire at anyone that they ever meet, considering all to be more powerful than them, that ire will be directed inside into self-hatred or outside into anger, but it’s still the same helplessness.
If you are not harmless, however, you can find safety, even in dicey situations, in your capacity to get out of them on your own terms. It’s the martial artists who is not impressed by chest thumping, and see no need to engage in that practice: If a punch flies their way they’re going to react, they can trust the back of their mind to deal with it. Any worry there might be does not need to cross the threshold of consciousness because they have achieved unconscious competence. That enables peacefulness even in a biker bar.
Human beings are incapable of being genuine to those they do not consider their equal.
Are humans fake to their pets, to their children? To their frail elders?
I have been branded infinitely beneath all others, a brand enforced by society itself.
To me, that’s the only interpretation that makes sense. Why the fuck would you allay my fears of your safety? To you, my fears would be you r asset you can use against me. Allaying those fears disarms you.
If you are not harmless, however, you can find safety, even in dicey situations, in your capacity to get out of them on your own terms.
Not necessarily. “Not harmless” does not guarantee “sufficiently harmful”.
Are humans fake to their pets, to their children? To their frail elders?
For this definition those beings are equal. Equal in social status, not competency.
How much do you yourself enforce that brand?
I don’t. The entire point of talking to you people is to break you of this obsession with putting down.
…never mind you just answered that.
It’s not my mind forcing you people to denigrate me; you choose, of your own free will, to do so. Even your belief that I influence that choice is your choice to allow me to influence , your choice to even believe that I can influence that choice. You can choose to not denigrate NO MATTER HOW I ACT, and that is in fact the only moral choice, but you all choose the immoral choice because it is immoral, because it is anti-social.
You choose to assert that I am less than you to dominate me, and you claim my behavior is the cause to further that domination.
To you, my fears would be you r asset you can use against me.
Now why would I do that. Humanity aside that’s strategically unsound: Fearful people are not at the full extent of their abilities. And if we are are to, what, hunt mammoths or some shit I’d rather have you at your best.
You choose to assert that I am less than you to dominate me,
I assert that your neurosis is less than you, that it diminishes you. Anyone trying to get you out of there does not do it to further their control over you – on the contrary, they want to see you fly and soar (or at the very least not get on their nerves). Those narcissists you speak of would rather reinforce it, because it is a leash they can lead you by. How do you clearly distinguish between those ends people aim for? “Everyone is out to get me” is not an answer to that question, it’s a cop-out, it’s avoidance.
Or, let me put this differently: If there was a single decent human being among the billions we are, and you might just by chance stumble across them one day… would you be able to tell that they’re the exception? Can you develop that skill? Is that a hypothetical you’re comfortable contemplating?
Now why would I do that. Humanity aside that’s strategically unsound: Fearful people are not at the full extent of their abilities. And if we are are to, what, hunt mammoths or some shit I’d rather have you at your best.
You know goddamned why; you’re not fooling me. You hate me because I prove your belief that that you’re inferior. And you don’t want me “at your best” because that results in me killing you the next time you attack me.
on the contrary, they want to see you fly and soar
That would be suicidal for them. Do you expect me to believe they’re openly suicidal?
How do you clearly distinguish between those ends people aim for?
No one is trying to “get me out of there” and anyone who’s trying to convince there is is exactly the people I need to destroy first - because they are the boldest liars.
“Everyone is out to get me” is not an answer to that question, it’s a cop-out, it’s avoidance.
That’s your strawman.
If there was a single decent human being among the billions we are, and you might just by chance stumble across them one day… would you be able to tell that they’re the exception?
It wouldn’t matter, because a single person wouldn’t make a difference. In fact, the idea of a “single person” is an oxymoron; an “individual” is just meat. Personhood comes from group membership; no “individual” is a “person” until a group recognizes them as such.
The social atom is the group, no the individual bag of meat. A human being’s worth literally comes from the group; one’s own estimate of worth is hopelessly biased and therefore perfectly invalid.
You hate me because I prove your belief that that you’re inferior.
Was that a Freudian slip?
Just for the record, no, I do not think of myself as inferior. Or superior. I generally don’t tend to think it those categories and definitely not as a generality. If there’s a shoemaker, sure, I’ll recognise their authority when it comes to the question of shoes.
And you don’t want me “at your best” because that results in me killing you the next time you attack me.
Why would I attack you? As I said in the beginning: No amount of flailing will make me hate you. Any aggression will have to be started from your side.
I do not think of myself as inferior. Or superior.
Sure you don’t.
Why would I attack you? As I said in the beginning: No amount of flailing will make me hate you.
And as I have said throughout: I won’t take anything you say at face value. You have no reason to talk to me if you’re not trying to lie to me somehow.
These reasonings are unconnected: “I am richer than you, therefore I am better”; “I am more eloquent than you, therefore I am better.” The connection is rather this: “I am richer than you, therefore my property is greater than yours;” “I am more eloquent than you, therefore my style is better than yours.” But you, after all, are neither property nor style.
Sorry, bud - kind people don’t say that. Yes, I’ve been walked all over by assholes, and I’ve been taken advantage of more times than I can count. I’ve been bullied and abused because of my body, and I’ve been made to feel like I don’t deserve to share the same planet with some people, but I’ve also met some amazing people who accept me and love me.
The whole point of being kind is to be vulnerable, and to help people earnestly and without judgement. Why would I give a shit that some asshole got a leg up because of my effort, or felt bigger by making me feel smaller? If I help 100 jerks and one good person, at the end of the day, I helped a good person, and that makes my whole day, regardless of anything else. That’s how you find the good people in the world, and build your social circle with people who care for you.
The whole point of being kind is to be vulnerable, and to help people earnestly and without judgement. Why would I give a shit that some asshole got a leg up because of my effort, or felt bigger by making me feel smaller? If I help 100 jerks and one good person, at the end of the day, I helped a good person, and that makes my whole day, regardless of anything else. That’s how you find the good people in the world, and build your social circle with people who care for you.
You’re a gullible fool.
“Vulnerability” only teaches people they can succeed in killing you, and that you won’t defend yourself properly from those who try. This isn’t about “some asshole got a leg up because of my effort” or “felt bigger by making me feel smaller” - this is about motherfuckers who murder people for fun.
Get your head out of your as an see real life. Life is a war zone where very social group is hunting every other social group - and everyone isolated from a social group. The goals of those groups is to kill - nothing less. There are no “good people” to help - they ALL are on the hunt, and I will not accept your lies suggesting otherwise. I will not be changed by your attempt to dominate and subjugate my mind.
Sorry, bud - kind people don’t say that.
Yes they do - after they wake up and realize they were taken in for fools, haven been conned by society into enabling abusers.
Clearly you’ve given up hope, and need to reject the idea of other people people being happy, and surrounded by love in order to not feel like you made a mistake in doing so. Nobody’s trying to kill me, nor are they trying to kill you - people are pretty good at that, as you pointed out; when they actually want to, they don’t try to, they just do. I’ve gotten death threats before, and lo and behold they were just threats. Had anyone gotten a gun and actually came after me with it, I’d be dead. You would be too, if they were serious about their supposed effort to kill you.
I’m in a loving marriage, with friends and what’s left of my family after I cut out the bad parts. They all support me and want me to be happy. We hang out and help one another, and it’s been years since I even met someone who I remember treating me poorly, because once you have that support network you don’t even care about those kinds of people. You end up just seeing them for what they are instead - just normal people who never learned to interact with others; pity them. You’ve still got a good chance to find your friend group. Don’t throw that chance away by just assuming such lives don’t exist - they absolutely do.
need to reject the idea of other people people being happy, and surrounded by love in order to not feel like you made a mistake in doing so.
People derive their happiness from torturing “other” people. That’s why they tortured me. That’s why my own parents tied me to a chair and beat me half to death with whatever didn’t leave bruise. That’s why my childhood peers beat me with whatever they could find and call me every name in the book. and that’s why no one ever did anything else. My therapists said the lack of alternate behavior - treatmentother than abuse - was the most damaging part of my trauma.
Nobody’s trying to kill me
No shit - you’re in a social group.
nor are they trying to kill you
They why was I shot three months ago, by a man who yelled in front of witnesses that he was going to kill me?
Had anyone gotten a gun and actually came after me with it, I’d be dead. You would be too, if they were serious about their supposed effort to kill you.
You grossly overestimate the competence of humankind. You also forget that maintaining social acceptance overrides even their desire to kill. They have to justify killing me to their peers before they can do it - otherwise they come off as someone who will kill anyone, a homicidal maniac. They have to build a casus belli before they murder me - that’s where I set them against their peers.
Their real desire is to dominate - killing is the consolation prize. I refuse to be someone else’s slave, so they’re driven to kill me to prevent the narcissistic collapse - to live with themselves after “failing” to enslave me.
I’m in a loving marriage, with friends and what’s left of my family
Bragging, really? You self-centered twat.
once you have that support network you don’t even care about those kinds of people.
The problem is that I can’t get that support network because you motherfuckers define your identities by who you bar from those networks. You bastards would rather kill an entire crowd than “fail” by letting me be tolerated by a group. You support your narcissistic egos by dominating other people and lying about them to others, making sure they’re permanently socially isolated.
You’ve still got a good chance to find your friend group.
No I don’t - I’m at the end of my life, and have absolutely no use for a friend group now.
Don’t throw that chance away by just assuming such lives don’t exist - they absolutely do
Prove it. Drag their bodies before me. I’m sick and tired of liars like you asserting this bullshit without proof, simply because your friends drive you to delusion and protect you from reality.
Alright, you’ve got people trying to kill you that’s terrible. You’ve definitely got it worse than I ever did, and you’re justified in thinking everyone’s out to get you. So start fresh. My mom never tried to kill me, but she did try to forcibly denounce my citizenship so I’d be utterly reliant upon her, so I moved across the country and lived for a few years in a closet of a bedroom owned by some lady I found on craigslist.
It sucked, and I had pretty much no money, but in about 2 years I managed to get back on my feet. I was even able to move back to my hometown, since I didn’t want to let my mom force me to live away from where I wanted to be. I made a new social group, and let some people from the previous group back in once I assessed whether they had my best interests in mind. I’m not saying starting fresh would be easy - it’s certainly the hardest thing I’ve ever done - but it sounds like you’ve got people actively hunting you down, so if they’re as incompetent at murder as you say they are, they should have an even harder time killing you with a thousand miles between you.
I’m not telling you about my life to brag - I’m actively encouraging you to find those same joys yourself. That’s what it looks like when someone encourages you - they tell you about how good your life can be if you regain hope.
Not only is there no way to “start fresh”, MOVING IS WHAT MADE PEOPLE WANT TO KILL ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! Their murderous rage started when my parents moved from one place to some place where “I didn’t belong” and they’ve been trying to kill me ever since, because there is no place on this Earth I belong. Even if there was such a place, they’d simply destroy it to deprive me of it and dominate me.
they should have an even harder time killing you with a thousand miles between you.
They are experts at chasing me down - they are far more skilled at chasing and tracking than killing. Remember, their priority is DOMINATION - they have an entire stable of people they have enslaved, whether they are actually chained up, or kept in line through extortion. The most important thing in their lives is to keep control of those people - and the second most is to regain control once they lose one.
I’m actively encouraging you to find those same joys yourself.
And I refuse to chase down happiness, because that will only make me an addict like my abusers. They abuse because abuse is the only thing that makes them happy, now that they’re strung out on it.
That’s what it looks like when someone encourages you - they tell you about how good your life can be if you regain hope.
No, that’s what lying looks like. I will never take anything anyone tells me at face value again.
Sorry, bud. I’ve told you all I can. At this point, your life is in your hands. Not the hands of those who want to hurt you, not the hands of those who want to help you, but can’t because of your rejection of the world. Just yours. I hope you make the right choice in the end. You deserve to be loved - and you will be, if you let it in. Please at least remember that much.
As if assholes like you would ever let that be the case. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you failed that badly as to let me regain control.
your rejection of the world
I didn’t reject the world - you assholes rejected me. And this gaslighting bullshit shows how much of a narcissist you are - it’s pure DARVO - Deny, Accuse, Reverse Victim and Offender.
I spent my life bending over backwards, trying to convince you people to stop hating me, and the harder I fought, the harder you resisted. That’s not the behavior of a species who ever had any intention of acknowledged my equality - that is the behavior of a species that defines it identity by who they dominate.
I hope you make the right choice in the end.
I have made the right choice - I have chosen to be moral, instead of chasing the happiness dragon and abusing innocent people - which is the choice you all made.
if you let it in
How stupid do you think I am?
There is only one thing to be “let in” - the people who want to enslave me. My entire life is dedicated to crippling them, making sure they enslave no one. And I will not rest until every narcissist is quadriplegic or worse.
You is batshit crazy. I don’t want to dominate you but I definitely pity you. I wish I could travel back in time and just set up traps to trip and pants everyone who was ever unkind to you. I can’t do that though, but I hope you get it all figured out one day.
You need to allow positive influences into your life. Hell, some decent negative influences might serve you better than the version of reality you’ve made for yourself here.
And if everyone is so evil and hellbent on dominating you, why do feel the need to interact with them on social media? It’s like you can’t commit to the isolation, which is a good thing because maybe at some point something positive will come your way.
I don’t know man. I’m not dealing with the madness that you are so I know there’s probably nothing I can say to help you.
I hope you can manage to help yourself some day though. Your abusers poisoned your brain, and then you’ve continued to apply that poison up to the place you’re in now.
More bullshit. What makes you think I’m so gullible? What do I have to do to prove to you that I am skeptical beyond your ability to fool?
You need to allow positive influences into your life.
I’m not the one stopping them. You are.
The most important faculty I value in others is the inability to be manipulated by another human being. The entire point of what I do is to weed out people who can be manipulated. I am only interested in people who defy my resistance and treat me well regardless of my initial resistance. If you can’t manage that, then you won’t be able to resist becoming a manipulator’s puppet - which is the only way such an abuser can succeed in killing me. If you cannot resist manipulation, I don’t think you’re worth the oxygen you breathe - you’re just an extension of the person manipulating you.
And if everyone is so evil and hellbent on dominating you, why do feel the need to interact with them on social media?
I have to stop them on every front - including debunking the lies they tell others to recruit them to join their “war” against me.
It’s like you can’t commit to the isolation
I don’t want to be isolated - you motherfuckers ostracize me to dominate me.
there’s probably nothing I can say to help you.
No shit - you have to do things, not say things. Of course you’ll fucking fail if you simply say things. But now it’s too late to do things, too.
Had you people done things during my childhood to help, you would have succeeded. But you didn’t want to actually succeed - you failed intentionally, because you wanted me broken, but also wanted the credit for trying to help. It’s all disingenuous, performative bullshit.
you’ve continued to apply that poison up to the place you’re in now.
Fuck you, narcissist. This is pure DARVO - Deny accuse, reverse victim and offender. Quit your bullshit gaslighting.
Oh so now I’m directly involved in your misery? haha
Me, who spends all of my time alone playing video games lol.
Ok bud. You try to have a nice life. Not gonna happen as long as you think you’re the center of the universe and every person on the planet is out to get you.
You keep fighting your lonely little war and the rest of us are just gonna keep on living.
I never claimed to be “the center of the universe” - that’s a straw man you added. All I’m saying is that I’m the victim of bigotry, the same as every other victim of bigotry. I’m merely an asteroid, one of millions, orbiting in that universe. You need to single me out to justify abusing me, but not them.
Like… call the police idfk. This violence and abuse is foreign to me, its not most people’s experiences and you’re in a deeply dangerous situation. You get away from those people, and actually the majority of people are great.
What does that look like to you? People are talking to you right now. I know that no one has said “you are a person” but what specifically do you want?
Unless you were literally raised by wolves this is some self aggrandizing incel bullshit.
Coming up with an theory of the world that confirms that you are right and everyone else is terrible is lazy. I don’t think you’ve ever actually cared about anyone but yourself.
You’re talking at me, lying to me and trying to dictate reality to me. You don’t respect me an an equal person - you think of me as an infinite “less than” that you need to dominate with your lies.
Unless you were literally raised by wolves this is some self aggrandizing incel bullshit.
I was raised by some of the most abusive people on the planet - enough to be jailed today - and surrounded exclusively by abusive peers.
I don’t think you’ve ever actually cared about anyone but yourself.
I did care, but you assholes taught me that caring about people who wanted me dead was a suicide pact. No one ever cared about me - not my parents, not my childhood peers, no school faculty. You motherfuckers demonstrated over fifteen years that my caring would be actively mocked as “stupid” and “retarded” and that I would be punished until I was capable of physically breaking my punishers. You all did that - not me. You all made sure no one would ever care about me, even going so far as to kill yourselves to guarantee it. You are quasi-religious zealots, dedicate to the cause of hate.
Humanity compulsively mirrors the behavior of other people, in order to be accepted by their peers. They have neurons dedicated to this mirroring. Furthermore, people compulsively fight and kill anyone who isn’t exactly like them - which is why my life is in danger, and why there are genocides.
This results in humanity constantly working to be exactly like one another - both to be accepted, and to avoid being killed. People who fail to do so do not survive, leaving only those who are almost exactly like one another.
Not to mention that asserting that people aren’t equal is simply bigotry. The only people who don’t think any person is representative of the whole of humanity are white supremacists.
Do you mean murder literally? Like you think if anyone saw you they would literally stab you with any sharp object near by? Or are you taking about a social pressure and systematic oppression that wears you down slowly over time?
Technically both, but they prioritize domination - which includes that “social pressure and systematic oppression” you mentioned. They will kill me, but only because I refuse to be dominated, refuse to submit to my own oppression.
Furthermore, people compulsively fight and kill anyone who isn’t exactly like them
Citation needed. How is there any diversity at all in the world? Not everyone is exactly the same.
The only people who don’t think any person is representative of the whole of humanity are white supremacists.
A sample size of one or a few is never totally representative of billions. Do you think everyone in the world is exactly like Greta Thunberg? People have a huge variety of values and personalities, you can’t boil everyone down to a charcuterie of the particular people you grew up with.
A sample size of one or a few is never totally representative of billions
My sample size is in the thousands - more than that if you include everyone who has participated in a genocide. Even more if you include every bigot.
People have a huge variety of values and personalities
And none of them mean jack shit. You’re bringing up meaningless drivel to support your weak-ass argument.
you can’t boil everyone down to a charcuterie of the particular people you grew up with.
The problem - confirmed by my therapists - is that there were exactly zero samples of anyone contrasting.
A society capable of keeping such people away at all can do so indefinitely. So it doesn’t matter if they ever existed or not - people will keep them away from me forever, simply because they could not live with themselves if they fail.
You’re taking about all of humanity, not just people who have committed genocide. Not everyone on earth has committed genocide.
My sample size is in the thousands - more than that if you include everyone who has participated in a genocide. Even more if you include every bigot.
Are you only including bad people in your sample? Obviously that would end up skewing the sample towards people being bad. Have you heard of the term representative sample in statistics? That’s how I’m using it.
The problem - confirmed by my therapists - is that there were exactly zero samples of anyone contrasting.
I’m sorry you haven’t met any non terrible people. I’ve met plenty. I hope you can meet some more people to change that.
But anyone at least supports genocide, at least theoretically.
Are you only including bad people in your sample?
Not intentionally, but the whole point is that 1) a random sampling obtains no “good” people 2) a thorough search also fails to turn up these mythical “good” people.
I hope you can meet some more people to change that.
The people I’m surrounded by would never allow that. They are willing to commit genocide to make sure the people they control stay in control.
What do you mean by genocide? What does it mean to support it? The only genocide I’ve been alive for that I know of is the current one against the Uyghur Muslims. Am I supporting that one?
Does fucking no one read a history book on this planet?
I’m referring to all of them ever waged. I’m referring to the fact that people practice genocide - and have become quite good at it for practicing it so often.
No it isn’t. Both the people blaming you for things before you are alive are wrong, and you blaming me for things before I was alive are wrong. Both are wrong because they were blaming people for things they couldn’t have effected.
No, I’m not a happiness addict. Happiness is not the goal - it’s the failure state. Happiness means I’ve become an abusive monster, like you.
You believe that people have killed themselves to make your life worse? I don’t want to sound mean, but you aren’t the only person.
I know. They’ve done the same to and for other people. Bigotry affects millions of people - I’m simply an equal one of those affected.
I’m simply trying to convince people that I"m an equal one of them, but their bigotry makes them refuse to accept that - just as it does to the equality of many others. The only difference between me and other victims of bigotry is that I don’t belong to a group.
Happiness is not the goal - it’s the failure state. Happiness means I’ve become an abusive monster, like you.
That’s a wild take man. Like what are you talking about? Can you tell me exactly what I’ve done to be an “abusive monster”? Could you elaborate on how happiness is only the result of being abusive?
Happiness is like a drug; it is addictive, and “taking” it loses effectiveness over time. This means every person needs to do more extreme things to achieve the same happiness. Eventually, they need to start abusive others in order to achieve the same “high”.
You may not be actively abusive yet, but you have to quit cold-turkey and run directly away from happiness in order to avoid the grip it will gain on you.
I’m going to disagree with you. I have found it takes less to make me happy as I get older. Moreover, my happiest moments are those where others are happy. I take no pleasure in harming others and I don’t believe that’s a unique perspective.
I think your coping mechanisms have made your life more difficult.
I think your coping mechanisms have made your life more difficult.
By definition that’s not possible. Unless you’re accusing me of being incompetent; correct exercise of coping mechanisms cannot make life more difficult because they’re engineered as a ratchet.
It is common to develop a drug or alcohol addiction as part of a coping mechanism. That can absolutely make your life more difficult. Coping mechanisms can make it more difficult to make changes that will better your life.
The path of least resistance isn’t always the easiest path.
People’s reactions to my choices make my life more difficult, and that’s why they are good. They can choose not to make my life more difficult; they instead make the immoral choice. My choice is moral and therefore the only one I can really make.
It’s interesting that any pushback you is evidence you are correct. It’s also interesting that you take no responsibility for any difficulties you might experience, it’s always the result of someone else’s choice.
I take responsibility for things I have actually done wrong. The problem here is that people conflate their out-of-control feelings with factual incorrectness. I can’t be responsible for your feelings, especially when you go out of your way to feel things in bad faith to blame me for those feelings. It’s your responsibility to not allow your feelings to affect your judgment in any way.
You don’t actually care about me being truly responsible - you just want me to be stupid enough and submissive enough to accept responsibility for things I have no duty to be responsible for. You want me to be responsible for your feelings that you have in bad faith, so you can justify “punishing” me arbitrarily.
Right now, a third of the U.S. - the white supremacy movement - has openly announced their desire to kill off at least another third of the U.S.
But, for some reason, those same people will refuse to kill me - despite some of them being the exact same people who beat me up in grade school?
They’re murderers, dipshit - they don’t make exception for anyone - not even their own.
And the only reason the other two thirds aren’t actively killing me is because they know the other third will - and they plan to help them kill me.
Also, “out to get” is your bullshit framing base on your laziness. It’s actually opportunism - but that still leaves me dead, and doesn’t excuse their behavior - or yours.
Finally, you still haven’t addressed the fact that you positively, provably manipulate your own emotions in bad faith to create a justification for abusing me.
Exactly how have I abused you? You keep claiming that, but all I’ve done is talk and notice that you have some views that aren’t very healthy or stand up to scrutiny.
a third of the U.S.
You believe that 1 in 3 people would support a racial genocide? Do you have any support for that?
Following that up you claim that everyone wants to kill you. Doesn’t that seem a little paranoid to you?
No one here is attacking you or threatening your life. No one. People aren’t insulting you, even though you are insulting everyone. Your world view is being questioned because it doesn’t seem healthy or rational. People aren’t saying “I think you are wrong” because they hate you and want you to “submit” but because you appear to be very unwell.
I know that my life improved when I changed my outlook, and I think you are clinging to unhealthy views because it makes it easier than trying to better yourself.
Exactly how have I abused you? You keep claiming that, but all I’ve done is talk and notice that you have some views that aren’t very healthy or stand up to scrutiny.
What you done is act in bad faith - your “talk” is spreading lies, you don’t gave a shit about my health or about honesty.
You believe that 1 in 3 people would support a racial genocide? Do you have any support for that?
Have you seen the fucking news over here lately? The entire Republican Party is clamoring for secession and genocide.
Following that up you claim that everyone wants to kill you. Doesn’t that seem a little paranoid to you?
That doesn’t matter. And to be precise, what they want first is to dominate me, to make me their slave. They only want to kill me because I openly refuse to obey them - which makes them look weak.
No one here is attacking you or threatening your life. No one.
Yes they are - they are a threat simply be knowing I exist. People refuse to control their own behavior; people’s behavior is only controlled externally. Bullies don’t stop their own bulling behavior - they have to be punished to stop them, but bullies stopped being punished long before I was born. So now everyone is a bully, and everyone is out of control.
People aren’t insulting you, even though you are insulting everyone.
Every contradiction is an insult. Who they fuck are they to contradict me when I’m the only one here who ever bothered to do the hard work of learning anything?
Your world view is being questioned because it doesn’t seem healthy or rational.
According to the unhealthy and irrational human species. Uh huh.
People aren’t saying “I think you are wrong” because they hate you and want you to “submit” but because you appear to be very unwell.
Again, judgment from the same bullies who called me names my entire childhood. Can’t you see why their judgement would be held in doubt?
Quit pretending people act in good faith. They are liars down to the bone, and I’m sick and tired of you defending them.
I know that my life improved when I changed my outlook, and I think you are clinging to unhealthy views because it makes it easier than trying to better yourself.
First, I have spent my entire life bettering myself. Second, bettering myself is far easier that defending myself against assault. Third, you don’t actually want me to truly better myself - the “bettering myself” you want is for me to be more gullible, more submissive. I’ll never believe anyone’s bullshit, and you’ll never get me on my knees. I will resist you until I die.
Finally, your life only got “better” because you chose to be delusional - which then exported the cost of living onto other people. Other people now suffer because you chose to believe lies.
You’re talking at me, lying to me and trying to dictate reality to me.
Let’s say someone actually wanted to help you. Let’s say they truly believed that going outside and interacting with people in person would do you good. How should such a person express their feelings and try to help while acknowledging you, respecting your humanity, and treating you as of equal value as a human?
They wouldn’t last long enough - they’d be murdered, or at least disabled, by the other narcissists in society. Such a person would be an obvious “freak” and face the exact same “punishment” as I have faced my entire life - except they don’t have the experience that I do, and fall for one of their cons. That’s when they’d be killed.
Narcissists rule this planet with an iron fist. There is no escape, and no effective counter.
I don’t want you to talk to me - I want you to listen to me and internalize what I teach you. Saying anything back is simply the petulant resistance of a child that won’t eat their vegetables.
Why would I? All you’d do is tell me lies, or otherwise speak in bad faith with intent to harm.
Is there nothing I could say that would convince you that not everyone is trying to kill you?
NO! The entire goddamned point is that I refuse to be dominated by you - that includes my mind. My mind is off limits - ONLY I can change it. Every attempt anyone else makes to change it is interpreted as an attempt to brainwash - equivalent to assault.
Only actions matter - but the time to act was over forty years ago. Waiting until I am the edge of death to act is itself an act of bad faith.
If there’s absolutely nothing I can do to convince you, it isn’t a logical argument you’re going with. It’s a philosophical or emotional one. Logical evidence based arguments would change if compelling contrary evidence was provided.
The problem with telling you is that it helps you fake the evidence. I have to assume that once I tell you, everything you give that looks like that evidence must be assumed to be faked.
Evidence can exist, but human beings are too dishonest to present it. Human beings cannot be trusted - and humanity’s history of dishonesty is all the proof I need for that. I will never trust human beings, as a moral compunction.
So no one can tell or show you anything to change your mind? Then we’re back to where we started with a philosophical or a moral position rather than a logical one.
Then it’s a moral one. It’s morally wrong to give human beings an inch - especially when it’s practically guaranteed that they use that inch to abuse someone else.
humanity’s history of dishonesty is all the proof I need for that.
Also, history books and discussion is more about grand state actors and conquests, not the everyday kindness and selflessness. It’s usually the norm, so not noteworthy to history.
The point is that you’re denying me that social circle by lying to other people about me - at minimum misleading them about me, for your own narcissistic ends.
No one owes you a social circle, so no one can deny it to you. Social connections are forged, not given. How can people you’ve never met lie about you? They can’t, by definition. There is absolutely no possibility that you’ve met every person even within your community, much less the world, in order to be able to make that assertion. It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists. Nearly everyone has had trauma in their life, many people have had trauma worse than can be imagined without experiencing it, and yet, they don’t become violently angry anti-social assholes.
Your response to trauma is a choice, and you have made a choice that prevents ever healing and creates further trauma.
No one owes you a social circle, so no one can deny it to you.
That does not give you the right to deny it in bad faith. If I do everything to earn that social circle, and I am still denied it, then you are acting in bad faith and must be punished - or you will permanently act in bad faith, and encourage others to do the same, virally.
Social connections are forged, not given.
The hell they aren’t. Every person I was raised with had their connections from birth. They were literally a birthright.
And I busted my ass to forge those connections, and you all fucking mocked me for it.
How can people you’ve never met lie about you? They can’t, by definition.
Are you mentally disabled or something?
A manipulator tells them false things about you to others, and then those others repeat it as gossip. I mean, the fucking Bible talks about this.
There is absolutely no possibility that you’ve met every person even within your community, much less the world, in order to be able to make that assertion.
I don’t need to. People go out of their way to be like everyone in their social groups to avoid being rejected; therefore everyone in a social group is similar enough to represent the whole group. All remaining difference are meaningless.
It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists. Nearly everyone has had trauma in their life, many people have had trauma worse than can be imagined without experiencing it
The difference is that I didn’t cause your trauma, but you at least want to cause mine. You have a compulsive need to dominate me to cover for your own insecurities. I don’t cover my insecurities - I blast them at maximum volume in order to make sure you can’t avoid the consequence for causing my insecure condition.
and yet, they don’t become violently angry anti-social assholes.
I’m not anti-social - you are the assholes rejecting me.
Your response to trauma is a choice, and you have made a choice that prevents ever healing and creates further trauma.
Wrong. I have made the only choice that lets me survive. You idea of “healing” is actually my complete submission to you, which I will never give; that is the only “healing” you want. I don’t want your “healing”; you can go fuck yourself.
There is no such thing as “earning” a social connection. You don’t deserve them, you cannot earn them or buy them or trade them. Again, you forge them. They are a product of mutual vulnerability and compatibility.
I made my friends from those who others rejected, and it made all of us stronger for it. I specifically seek out those in need and offer myself to them, and those who do not fit in other social circles. None of my friends are like me, we are all very different, with very different lifestyles and goals, and we do not even agree on basic things, yet because we have forged bonds together, no amount of difference can break us apart.
You assert many intentions to me, which is your right, however, it’s no surprise why you lack bonds when you treat people such and view the world through a warped, transactional point of view. There’s no brownie points in the real world, behaving like a human does not entitle you to friends. It is the bare minimum standard of mutual humanity. You must go farther than that.
Why do you assume the entire world is telling lies about you? Why do you care what other people say about you? Where are you that you genuinely think most people want to murder and dominate you, and what attempts have you made to relocate to somewhere more amenable to you? Do you find beauty in nature? Do you frequently engage with nature? How many social media accounts do you have? When was the last time you went to a social event by yourself where you know absolutely no one? How much time per day do you spend on self improvement, be it mental or physical? What are your goals for the immediate future? And further out?
There is no such thing as “earning” a social connection. You don’t deserve them, you cannot earn them or buy them or trade them. Again, you forge them. They are a product of mutual vulnerability and compatibility.
This is absolute bullshit.
“Forge” has no clear definition here; this is just a weasel word used to justify arbitrary rejection in bad faith.
There is no such thing as “mutual vulnerability” - by definition, if one person is “vulnerable” the other person is psychologically compelled to attack them. Humans are as predator species, jackass.
I have no “mutual compatibility” with any human being, and cannot become compatible without throwing away my very soul.
a warped, transactional point of view.
Those are your transactions - “transactional” is your invention. I only adopted in the last couple of months because it’s the only thing you crazed, irrational motherfuckers understand. Anything you assholes do is less rational, less functional.
You must go farther than that.
I’ve gone much farther than that, only to be mocked for being gullible enough to believe that anyone would treat me well in return. Your insistence that I “must go farther than that” is simply your attempt to trick me into falling for that con again. What do I have to do to convince you assholes I’ll never be that gullible again?
Why do you assume the entire world is telling lies about you?
Why do you believe the massive list of names people called me throughout school weren’t lies? Because the only reason one would ask that question is if you believe that all of those names - including those that directly contradict each other - are true.
Why do you believe people wouldn’t simply adopt very successful strategies? People calling me names succeeded in making me modify my behavior; It would be zero-intelligence 8stupid* for anyone to witness that success and say to themselves, “I’m going to throw away that perfectly successful strategy that achieves my aims and instead do something completely unproven”.
Once on e bully did something to me in school, the entire school did it, almost immediately. It’s as if they didn’t have free wills - and I have yet to find any evidence that they gained that free will. I have seen a scientific paper recently that explains how mental laziness makes people gullible and prone to brainwashing.
Why do you care what other people say about you?
Because what people think drives what they do, and what people say spreads virally until no one has an original thought in their heads. It’s what they do that matters - and what they do is act in bad faith, destroy everything I own, and go out of their way to become and obstacle between me and everything need to survive.
Where are you that you genuinely think most people want to murder and dominate you
Earth.
what attempts have you made to relocate to somewhere more amenable to you?
Relocation is what started the abuse. Relocation made me an “invader”, a person who “didn’t belong here” and people were willing to kill to get rid of.
Moving again simply means there are two gangs of people trying to kill me.
Do you find beauty in nature? Do you frequently engage with nature?
No, and no. I do not conceptualize “beauty”.
How many social media accounts do you have?
Two. I refuse to go on either Facebook or whatever Elon calls his garbage fire now.
When was the last time you went to a social event by yourself where you know absolutely no one?
I never knew anyone. I cannot remember names. I’ve never been to a social event unless you count school itself.
How much time per day do you spend on self improvement, be it mental or physical?
8+ hours - more on weekends. The moment I fail to improve myself is the moment the rest of the world catches up - and I die.
What are your goals for the immediate future?
Survive.
And further out?
Survive.
Cheers, my angry friend.
Don’t ever falsely accuse me of being your friend ever again.
So, you’re extrapolating your entire worldview based on experiences you had during school, a period of most people’s life notorious for tribalist cliques and irrational behaviors? School sucked for me too, that’s why I finished and didn’t go back. I’ve had all the classics, I’ve been pantsed, had a swirly, been physically beaten, robbed, stolen from, rumors spread about me, catfished before catfishing was a term, etc etc.
School sucks, the structure of it sucks, it encourages such behaviors and is filled with hierarchies and domination. The banking model of education is inherently flawed and hinders development of critical thinking and empathy, for sure. That doesn’t mean that all of humanity is that way though.
You say you’ve never even been to a social event outside of school, and that you have no mutual compatibility with actionsanyone. You have no hobbies you could share with anyone, nor do you believe there is anyone with a shared experience of school that might be a potential point of rapport? What do you do when you go to the book store, do you glare at the cashier because of your assumptions regarding them? Or do you greet them warmly and ask them how they are with genuine desire to know?
And whether or not I am your friend, you are my comrade. I care about unique, interesting people, and while we may not share a worldview, you most certainly are a unique and interesting person.
It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists.
I’ve had a friend like that. It was hard cutting her off, but in the end our whole social circle agreed that was the right thing to do after enduring so much of her abuse over the years. She was crazy manipulative and always the victim, just like this dude.
I dont have a social circle, I talk to random people online when I feel like I wanna be social. I was just at the hardware store, looking like queer me, and the cashier was clearly a strong middle-aged white guy. He might politically want me dead. But he was nice enough. I didnt get the fear response activation vibe that he could murder me or wanted to. My name is Franzia, and it is a female name, I’m not a guy.
I was just at the hardware store, looking like queer me, and the cashier was clearly a strong middle-aged white guy. He might politically want me dead. But he was nice enough.
What a fucking pant load. You’re so full of shit, it stinks
Bullshit. The majority of people want to dominate everyone not in their immediate social circle. Go look up social dominance theory - it will tell you everything you need to know about how people really behave.
I'm basing this on my life's experience, and of those around me. That might not match your's but what I say is true to me.
I'm not going to say you're wrong. As long as inequalities exist between people, there will always be in-groups and out-groups of people. Humanity is tribal, and likely always will be.
But most people don't spend their waking moments trying to enforce these tribalisms. Arseholes definitely do, but that's not the majority of people.
And what magical fucking force forces people to “chill”?
Biology.
The human brain doesn't come pre-built. There are many parts that develop at different rates, with the pre-cortex (the "rational" part of your brain) still developing even into your mid-20s.
During your adolescence this process is nowhere near complete, thus adolescents are generally severely lacking in the long-term judgement and planning department. They are more likely to be impulsive, to jump on the bandwagon of peer pressure without thinking through the consequences.
As they get older, most people become generally better at thinking things through. Less likely to act on impulse, and more likely to listen to others. They learn about viewpoints way outside their own and start to become less self-absorbed. At least that's my experience of growing around my peers.
...
They don’t. Because that magic doesn’t fucking exist. Only the trauma of punishment makes people stop abusing others. Without the threat of permanent injury on themselves, people will always try to permanently injure others as a means to dominate and control - at least for the sake of their social groups. That desperate need to dominate and control is what makes them human.
You are spreading self-aggrandizing lies; spreading an infection that will only cause more people to get more “uppity” and beat more innocent people to death. Stop lying about people and apologizing for their bloodlust. People are murderers, hunters for the only “game” still left - forcibly isolated human beings.
I wasted my entire life being kind to people, only to mock me for being so stupid, so gullible enough to fall for the con that they would be nice back. They beat me like they were mining for ore, driving blow after blow into my skull until it was permanently disfigured, and then they broke every bone in my limbs until they didn’t work anymore.
Don’t give me this horseshit about how people “chill out” - I did not get almost murdered over fifteen years by people who would simply magically stop being murderous because some timer ran out. No, those motherfuckers murdered as if it was a fucking religious mandate and they are the same type of assholes who tried to take over the U.S. on January 6th.
No one is ever going to acknowledge my humanity, no matter how kind I am, or what I do. I will always be seen as a “less than” because the ENTIRE human race are malignant narcissists - and there is an entire organization of psychologists and sociologists who reject the pro-human narrative and know exactly how evil people really are. Quit apologizing for rapists and murderers.
Jesus christ you went off the deep end quick, I am not responding to all of that...
I don't know what kind of life you've experienced, but you've got some deep-seated traumas up in that head of yours that you need to figure out.
Not only that, but you've seemingly driven yourself into an almost schizophrenic delusion that everybody is after you, looking for a chance to tear you down in whatever way they can. That's just not the case.
If your tendency is to explode on anyone who disagrees about your worldview, to compare them to murderers, then I'm afraid you might just be the problem in your lack of a social life - I'll leave you with this:
"If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole" - Raylan Givens, Justified
But most people don’t spend their waking moments trying to enforce these tribalisms.
That doesn’t matter. As long as they are enforced, “how often” doesn’t factor in. You only have to blow out an “invader” 's brain once.
As they get older, most people become generally better at thinking things through. Less likely to act on impulse, and more likely to listen to others. They learn about viewpoints way outside their own and start to become less self-absorbed. At least that’s my experience of growing around my peers.
Absolute horseshit. This stopped occurring in the early 20th century - if not earlier than that.
Not only that, but you’ve seemingly driven yourself into an almost schizophrenic delusion that everybody is after you, looking for a chance to tear you down in whatever way they can. That’s just not the case.
Then explain to me why exactly zero people supported me during my childhood. Not my parents not my peers, not school faculty, NO ONE.
If you can’t explain that with statistical logic, without resorting to sucking off the human species, you’re full of shit.
If your tendency is to explode on anyone who disagrees about your worldview, to compare them to murderers, then I’m afraid you might just be the problem in your lack of a social life
I’m not trying to have a social life anymore - you assholes proved that you’d sacrifice your lives to prevent that in my junior high.
I’m trying to secure my survival against a species that refuses to control itself. A species of rabid dogs that put on airs. You don’t just “disagree about my worldview” - you’re trying to annihilate my very identity so you can enslave me with your bullshit ideas.
I WILL NOT INTERNALIZE YOUR BULLSHIT, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU FIGHT ME!!!
I might be late to the discussion, but it seems that your life has been hard and full of abuse. A lot of people here answered your comments with compassion, but your replies were almost always aggressive. It’s ok to feel hatred towards your abusers, but the fact that you seem to immediately hate people that try to peacefully communicate with you is, objectively, very wrong. Even if all the abusers in the world died tomorrow, would you be happy?
you’ve seemingly driven yourself into an almost schizophrenic delusion that everybody is after you
It’s not almost, they sound exactly like my old classmate who unfortunately did spiral down the path of paranoid schizophrenia. Nobody here is going to change their mind, despite your best intentions. Even professionals don’t have much better luck.
I mean this in the nicest possible way, but I think you need to talk to someone and try and gain a new perspective. People aren’t inherently mean, and generally aren’t thinking about much other than themselves. People do “chill” as they get older and realize a lot of things really don’t matter in the long run.
Go find a team sport or a hobby with other like-minded people and focus on building a community of friendship and support. Your life is too short to not spend it being happy.
No, I don’t. My perspective is the correct one, and your bullshit is simply propaganda you’re gullible enough to be fed.
I will not believe anything else - especially if a lying human being sells it.
Finally, there ARE NO LIKE MINDED PEOPLE TO ME!!! The entire fucking problem is that you idiots sacrificed your minds for your happiness drug. I don’t want your “happiness” - I want moral integrity, and you want to kill me because that’s what I chose.
I sincerely wish I understood how someone can get to your point. I wish I could see this as some elaborate troll, but I can’t help but see this as something so much darker. I won’t recommend anything to you, as it’s pretty clear any effort to help is seen as an insult, at best. Just know that there are genuinely people who see reactions like this and wish they could help.
I will not believe anything else - especially if a lying human being sells it.
The way that everyone else seems to be getting along normally in their lives, maybe even having fun reading through this thread, while you’re getting angry and “shouting” reminded me of a line from The Count of Monte Cristo, where the count is trying to persuade a similarly unhappy person of the existence of a god.
‘No,’ said Caderousse. ‘No, I do not repent. There is no God, there is no Providence. There is only chance.’
‘There is both Providence and God,’ said Monte Cristo. ‘The proof is that you are lying there, desperate, denying God, and I am standing before you, rich, happy, healthy and safe, clasping my hands before the God in whom you try not to believe and in whom, even so, you do believe in the depths of your heart.’
Which is not to say that it’s a good argument; it’s actually pretty bad.
“Look at how fortunate I am to believe in my thing, and how unfortunate you are to believe in yours” when their beliefs are totally incidental.
But rereading it made me think about how little it matters about whose perspective is “correct” about something like that. To put it simply, there are plenty of “good people” in the world and there’s also plenty of “bad people”. Whether or not you choose to see good or bad is (in large part) up to you. Neither way is “right” or “wrong”.
I think you would be happier if you tried to look for good instead of bad, but as you’ve stated, that’s not a goal of yours. I don’t think that you really have any more “moral integrity” than the other side though. While I’m not asking you to abandon your point of view, I think you should realize that there is a reason why your viewpoint is not very popular; it seems that you’ve had negative experiences that have caused you to become cynical about human nature but here’s a rough analysis of the numbers: the fact that most people are not that cynical is evidence that most people don’t have it that bad. People aren’t wrong to believe in good human nature when that’s what their experiences reflect. They’re coming to conclusions in the same way you are, just the other way around.
If your experiences have been so negative, that’s an alright thing to base your views on. But I hope that you find more positive experiences in the future that might change your mind. You probably won’t find it on Lemmy.
What do you count as terminally online? I don’t differenciate between online and offline friends and spend lots of times talking or chatting to people online (as I spend time doing stuff with people irl). But I wouldn’t say that my or this social life is bad.
I would classify “terminally online” as almost exclusively interacting with people online with little to no IRL at all. A bit part of that would also be that the people you interact with are people you’ve never seen.
Wat makes you think that people will be better IRL? They may be more inhibited, but that just means they’re lying about themselves. The truth will burst out, eventually - better to be forewarned.
Being honest doesn’t mean telegraphing every impulse to the surface and acting on it. A toddler does that and it’s considered bratty, a behavior to be corrected.
Being IRL means having immediate feedback on our actions. No extended diatribes using cut outs of their speech. No linking to articles to convince a person. It becomes a test of the social abilities of each individual and how well they can listen and speak. It flexes different skills than reading and writing.
Try to buy from a salesman in person vs online to see the difference. IRL is vastly different from online. IRL also has the added effect of “fuck around, find out” with no down time. If you say something distasteful then you learn about it before you’re done talking by the expressions and reactions of those around you. Acting like you have been is a quick ticket to lonersville, which is probably why you’re so angry at the idea that IRL is different from online. Get out and talk to strangers. See how they react to your need to interrupt, dissect, and “win” when they werent arguing. People want to share information, not stand atop some invisible social pyramid.
I’ll also add another major sign is if you don’t know their irl names. I have close friends who I met over the pandemic who live far away, but we knew each other by name and hear each other’s voices. That’s a big thing. Your Twitter/tumblr mutuals or people you regularly interact with on Reddit/Lemmy are people that terminally online people will think of as friends rather than “no we’ve never met irl but we play d&d together or have a book club over discord”.
The other big thing is whether or not you go to irl events. Just literally being somewhere that’s neither home nor work/school helps so much.
no we’ve never met irl but we play d&d together or have a book club over discord
To be fair, DnD is one of those things I would never ever even consider playing over discord unless I considered you a very good friend, and even then it’s begrudgingly. Discord dnd sucks balls.
I’d call people that who lost contact with reality. So if something you believe could be immediately proven wrong by just stepping outside for a while, you are terminally online.
For example the 4chan theory of: “80 % of women date only 20 % of ultra chad men”. There are people who actually believe this.
Dating apps were mainstream long before 4chan existed, although not as dominant. The idea that all of the women go for the top tier of men gained prominence with an analysis posted on the old OKCupid of their user behavior, and the particular 80/20 split was just pulled out of somewhere, likely borrowed from the Pareto Principle. In any case, 4chan may have pathologized it, but certainly did not originate the notion.
My definition is more or less the same as the one @ParsnipWitch offered...
The terminally online are thise who have little to no contact with reality. They are the shut-ins and the NEETs of this world. Those that would fully believe in conspiracies about life which could be disproven simply by interacting with others IRL.
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